Hi whats up KamaTV… this is the dating coach Emre from kamalifestyles.com. So today I am here with another exciting video and I will be talking about five ways to re-frame rejection and show you the infield clips. By the end of this video, you will learn the strategies to reframe the rejection and change the meaning of it. In this video you will also learn;
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- Changing meaning of the rejection
- Training yourself to focus on the positives
- Learn from the rejection
- Focus on the gratitude
- Worse scenario analysis
Gentlemen as I said before in my previous videos; we are not one of the marketing gurus and actually teach the real stuff and show you how to do it. The insights and the skills that are taught by us are based on years of experience in the real world. When put into practice, they have worked for a number of our clients and other guys, and I know it will work for you as well. So before we get started let’s click that subscribe button and turn on the notifications as there will be many more videos will be coming to your way. So let’s watch the footage
Ways to Re-frame Rejection
Rejection is not something any of us wants to go through. I did get rejected many times. Probably more than you can imagine. It is rather unfortunate, however, that men are more prone to being victims of rejection than women. I mean, we are the ones chasing the girls, approaching them and asking them out. Women are very passive when it comes to dating and cold approaching. Simply they just don’t do because of the social programming. Though the fear rejection is justified, it inhibits many of us from getting out there and opening ourselves up to dating and approaching the women.
However, we cannot close ourselves up to dating and love forever. At some point, we will have to get out there, approach girls and ask them out on a date; it is a need that we cannot ignore. It is an elephant in the room you simply just cannot ignore you gotta approach women! You all know what I mean here as we are all in the same boat. Rejection is, therefore, almost inevitable. We will face rejection at one point or another. Since it is something we are stuck with for life, the best way to deal with it is to learn how to reframe and use as a driving force to bounce back. I mean, you got to turn it over to work in your favour instead of allowing it to work against you. Learning how to reframe rejection will not only work in your dating life but also in your general life; rejection also happens in other life areas like in work environments, not only in romantic settings. I have compiled a list of how you can best reframe rejection so that you can look at it from a different perspective. It is the key towards looking at rejection in a positive light
Here are the five ways through which you can successfully do this:
1.Change your meaning of rejection.
No situation is ever entirely “good” or “bad”, “negative or positive. Every event in life is neutral. Our perception or interpretation of it is what deems it good or bad, positive or negative. In this case, you have the power to give the event a disempowering or empowering meaning. It means that essentially it is you who hurts yourself and not the actual rejection. I know it is a little bit mind flip but it is man made emotion. If you can make it surely you can reframe it.
The rejection from your crush or a girl you have approached is not what beats you down; it is the meaning you have attached to it. For example, you might be heartbroken that your lover of five years has called it quits while your buddy is thrilled that she did because he knew she was never good for you. You see, one event yet you have both attached entirely different meanings. Reprogramming your subconscious to view rejection differently is one of the ways you can reframe rejection. You can only blame yourself when you give it a sense that gives it power over you and personalize it or label it. Personalization occurs when you attribute other people’s behavior to something that you have done and Labeling occurs when you define yourself in one dimension that does not allow for any other viewpoint for example: “She rejected me because I am too ugly, too fat, too short, guys you name it list is endless! You make that meaning no else make it. So take the hint.
2.Train yourself to focus on the positives.
First of all, refusal shows that you are growing, moving in the right direction and taking risks. If you are not facing it, you are either not being true to your nature or are not leaving your comfort zone; rarely will we be everybody’s favourite when we are our real selves. I like looking at rejection as a redirection to the right destination. I look at it as a force pushing me towards my goals. The universe makes no mistakes; my rejection, it is not a coincidence; it has a reason. I look at all positives in every denial; every time a girl became distant, ghosted me or broke things off, I saw it as a great save from much trouble in future and learn from it and this is my next point. So guy!
3.Learn from the rejection.
Every experience brings along a lesson. Better still, lessons. When you teach yourself to look at rejection from a positive, rational and objective view you grow more than ever. Use the positive or negative experiences you learn from it as a motivation factor to grow and become a better version of yourself. The apparent lesson that comes from every rejection is that you have become stronger than you are; you learn that you have more resilience than you every thought you have. With every rejection you handle objectively, you become more and more resilient. For example; you can say she doesn’t want me after you get rejected but in reality not every girl is social and they trained to be passive by the society and their families and this makes them act shy and passive. You need to learn more about social programming and its myths to be able to understand how they behave when they meet males first time, in other words most women are socially pressurised and not acting themselves… Rejection will teach you the nature of women and how they have been created by the social programming. Always choose to learn and never complain as it will never serve you well and it will be a road block in your development.
4. Focus on gratitude.
Though mostly underrated, gratitude is a tool that can help you flip the positive switch button in your mind. Well, it is not easy to find something to be grateful for during the early stages of your refusal. I mean, what is there to be thankful for when the love of your life has rejected you and replaced you with another man? Or a girl rejected you because you are too dark or too blonde or too bla bla… However, focusing on the small things in life opens you up to the many blessing you have each day. You can acknowledge the fact that things could have been worse, but it did not go that way. You have indeed been rejected, but you are still standing and are still active.
As the positivity takes over your life, you will learn to appreciate rejection genuinely and see it as being guided to a better and more fulfilling life. You understand that everything in life happens for a reason. Nothing is ever out of the blue or a coincidence. Give it time, and you will soon see that it was all part of your development. Look at the rejections you had in the past and ask yourself did it make you a better person or was there any reasoning? Did you grow after that rejection? Look at how you benefited from it…Soon you will discover all these rejection memories allowed you to grow and when you looked at back if you weren’t there or live that rejection you would never make it this far.
5. Worse scenario analysis.
It is a rather gangsta way of looking at it. It is simply asking yourself “what’s the worst that could happen? I mean, I am still whole. I am still me.” such an attitude teaches you to approach every situation with an open mind, that is, this can go either one of two way. It can go so well or wrong. When you do this, you are pretty much ready for the rejection in case you get it. It thrives on the notion, always expect the worst and you will never be caught off guard. Realise that you do not have control over other’s people’s behaviour and decisions. You can love them as much as you can and still not be enough for them. You can only control yourself and therefore expect anything from anyone.
We already agreed that rejection will always be a part of our lives. Reprogram your perspective so that you can deal with it in a more positive way to learn, become better and ultimately grow yourself. Here, you have the blueprint of how to do it.
Well guys that’s all from me today and thank you for watching my video. You can have an access to my online Confidence Booster Programme by clicking the link at the description below or clicking the card above and it will take you to the page and just scroll down, pick your entry level and sign up. Online confidence booster programme have over 9 hours of training videos with unlimited access and PDFs exercises. You can download and complete module exercises on a daily basis at your own pace each day of the workweek. All you need to do is watch your videos on a daily basis for 10 to 20 minutes that is enough and complete your exercises. It is all about taking small actions and following the steps every day so that after when you finish your course, you are more confident than ever before!
Guys I look forward to seeing you in the Confidence Booster Programme. I hope you enjoyed the content and of course guys if you enjoy my video please like, share, comment and subscribe. I am Emre and I will see you soon.
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