The biggest obstacle most men face when it comes to dating is facing their own fear. Most of my clients have come to me have neither never had a girlfriend nor have given up on finding one because they have neglected their love life because of their fear of the unknown.
The biggest fear that most men face is rejection and this is something men face a lot more than women as social taboo dictates that it is that the man that has to make the first move.
Compromise your success
The reason that most men suffer from approach anxiety is that society has influenced them so much that not only do they fear the initial rejection but also they are afraid of being viewed as a creep.
Rather than going more into detail about this I will instead explain how you can succeed. When I first started out in improving my dating life I got rejected a lot and yes it did affect me.
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A lot of it was down to me doing something that was completely outside my comfort zone and it was something I was not used to doing. Because I was just starting out in this area of my life I was not very good at it so of course I received a lot of setbacks.
But yet I kept going despite how I felt because I had never felt so determined to succeed with dating. But after months of approaching I finally started to feel more confident in what I was doing.
Through trial and error my approaching improved and I became better at approaching and making a first impression with women during the day and in bars and clubs. But guess what?
I still got rejected only I came to realize that the whole notion of rejection did not affect me anymore because most women reject guys down to external issues that have nothing to do with them. Guys seem to forget that women are human as well and can have their off days as well.
To this day I still get rejected but after years of approaching women the whole notion of rejection just does not affect me anymore.
The key to how I got to this stage was that I faced my fear of rejection and the unknown and I realized that it was all just in my head and once I came to this realization I found it hard to take it seriously and I began to really enjoy the whole process and enjoy the trial and errors that I made.
Because I began to see it as an opportunity to grow as a person.
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This is why I urge any of you who are starting out on this not to let your fears control you otherwise you will stay in your comfort zone and stagnate as a result.
Instead you should enjoy the process and give yourself license to make mistakes and see it as a positive as opposed to a negative. The less you take it seriously the more that you will start to develop a positive outlook on approaching and meeting women.
Yes there are women that will not welcome your approach but over 80 percent of the time it will be usually down to them and not you and for every girl like this you will also approach women that want to be approached.
And over time you will take rejection less and less seriously and enjoy the interactions with the women that will welcome your approach.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Emre Ilkme
Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.
He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.
