You bring out everything from your Casanova bag when you decide to pursue a woman you like. However, you can easily run out of moves when a woman starts playing hard to get.
Men and women approach dating differently. The difference in dating psychology in women makes it sometimes challenging for guys to understand women. It can get really confusing when you can’t figure out if she’s taking you for a ride or genuinely interested in you.
In this blog, I’ll explore the question of why do girls play hard to get. Understanding why women do it will open you up to endless possibilities of how you can identify and handle a woman playing catch me if you can with your heart.
You’ll also explore surefire clues that will tell you the difference between a woman that’s playing hard to get and one that is genuinely uninterested.
How to know if a girl is playing catch me if you can?
Some women reject men gently which is a common source of confusion. Is she into me or not? Well, here are tips that will help you from maxing your credit card at a liquor store because of heartbreak:
- She doesn’t commit but shows up. This is a classic move for a woman playing hard to get. When a woman is interested in you, she’ll give you hope that you can still have her even if sometimes it seems far-fetched.
- She keeps you waiting. A woman that’s interested in you but is playing hard to get will build up anticipation. She’ll take her sweet time to reply to your texts and calls but she’ll take her time to give you a satisfactory response.
- She turns down your help, but she’s willing to help you. Women understand that a guy needs a supportive partner. If she’s playing hard to get, she’ll show you her supportive side but might turn down your help because she doesn’t want to give you a clear win.
- She’s busy but still creates time for you. A woman that’s not interested in you will be busy throughout even if under house arrest. On the other hand, a woman that’s playing hard to get will be busy but will still create time for you to allow the relationship to grow.
- She doesn’t initiate a conversation but engages you in one. She will engage you in an exciting conversation when you reach out. That is designed to keep you coming back to her.
- She’ll be touchy but won’t allow you to reciprocate. It’s hard for a woman to hide her feelings even when she’s playing hard to get. You’ll notice that she’s touchy with you but she has boundaries on how touchy you are with her.
- She always looks red carpet ready. Have you ever gone out with a woman that you felt was sexually luring you but turns down your escalation effort? A woman that likes you will make an effort to impress you when she shows up. You’ll know she’s playing if she shows a lack of interest but has gone to great lengths to nonverbally impress you.
- She enjoys being sarcastic and teases you a lot. A girl that’s playing hard to get will do everything to camouflage her game. Sarcasm creates a slippery slope that can be used to hide real intentions as jokes or banter.
Why do girls play hard to get?
Now that you can tell when a girl is playing, let’s explore why do girls play hard to get:
1. She’s keeping her options open.
Another common reason why do girls play hard to get is to keep their options open. Sometimes you are presented with two best options but you can only choose one, which is a common phenomenon in dating.
While most guys might find it unfair, it’s natural for people to weigh their options and settle for what’s best for them. When a woman has more than one guy pursuing her, she’s likely to play hard to get as she takes her time to observe the pros and cons of committing to either guy.
Also, most women tend to keep their options open when they are uncertain about how they feel for you. Well, it’s not a popular opinion but dating sometimes can be the wild west.
2. It’s a defense system.
I read somewhere “It’s either a girl gives one guy 10 chances or gives 10 guys one chance each.” From a woman’s perspective, it looks like a losing battle because she either perseveres with heartbreaks from the same guy or belongs to the streets.
The best reason why do girls play hard to get is because they use it to protect themselves from guys with malicious intentions. The truth is not every guy approaches a woman with happily ever after in mind. Some guys just want to have fun and go.
Women play hard to get to sieve out guys with inferior intentions from guys that are genuine. Women assume that a genuine guy will be willing to wait and be patient with her. She’ll play games until she’s sure of your intentions.
3. She enjoys the attention
Everyone has their own thrill when it comes to dating. I have to admit it, there’s so much thrill in the chase. The same way guys get testosterone shots from chasing a woman they desire, some women thrive in the attention they get during the chase.
A woman knows that a guy that likes them will not be afraid to bring the big guns to impress them. That prompts some women to prolong the chase period to get as much attention as they can. The bitter truth is that in most relationships, the chase was the most exciting part for both couples.
4. Disguise their insecurity
Undesirable experiences from previous relationships can make a woman extra cautious. The experience can trigger insecurity in a woman that they have to overcome before they are in another relationship. Playing hard to get allows the woman to process her emotions and get over her fears and insecurities.
Furthermore, some insecurities are generated from the girl’s lack of confidence in herself. She might feel she’s not pretty enough to get a guy like you. Playing hard to get is a technique to boost her ego and build her confidence.
5. Establish their value
A woman might like you but you are not offering her the deal she desires to be in a relationship. I have always said that it’s nothing personal but people get into relationships for selfish reasons.
Some women play hard to get to establish their value in the relationship. Most guys will not be serious with a woman that immediately said yes after they show interest. Even as a guy you’ll not feel secure with the girl if she comes too easy.
By playing hard to get a woman inspires you to up your game to entice her. You’ll adjust your boundaries and put more effort into what the girl feels she deserves from her man.
6. She’s testing you
Women like to understand the guys they are getting into relationships with. That can prompt her to test you to discover your strengths, vulnerabilities, and boundaries.
Moreover, a woman wants a guy that will give the world to her. She’ll test you to gauge how far you are willing to go for her. That is a way some women find out their value in a guy’s life and the relationship.
When a woman is testing you, it can be because the level of trust is still low. Work on building trust by eliminating the doubt triggers in your relationship.
Your confidence can be put to a test when you face a woman that’s playing hot and cold simultaneously. However, a woman that is into you will allow for escalation no matter how minute.
When you approach a woman that’s playing hard to get, the best thing is to take a step back and think how far you are willing to go. It’s easy to get caught in the chase and appear desperate because you are doing everything and anything to get the girl. You’ll not get the gratification you desire if you give up too much to be in a relationship.
The trick in getting a girl that’s playing hard to get is also to set your standards. Women also have to prove themselves to guys they like. If she can’t prove herself to you the way you desire, there’s no need to drain yourself trying to prove that you are worthy of her.
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Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.
He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.