Why dating apps are bad for guys? Dating apps expose you to thousands of beautiful women who are potential for a date. However, guys tend to forget that every other person is in it for the price. It’s a competition altogether. You become a choice out of a hundred other interested candidates
Bad for guysWhen it comes to dating apps, women have the upper advantage. However, this advantage doesn’t always turn in their favor as they miss out on a lot of good guys while filtering the many profiles showing interest. More often than not, the decision will be based on looks or who shows a good vibe. For a guy to find a match in these apps, you’ll need to be outstanding. Making an impression while you’re competing with a bunch of other guys for one lady is not an easy task. Besides being appealing, you should be super creative and very tactful. In this blog, you’ll explore different reasons why dating apps are bad for guys. Also, we’ll identify how a guy can stay at the top of the game for the benefit of finding a date. 1. Men are treated as objects The first reason why dating apps are bad for guys is that dating apps give women an upper hand in choosing a date. It’s like a game where the lady is the price and guys have to compete against each other. If you make a good impression, you’re likely to get a match. (A great article on how to make friends with the opposite sex: How to make female friends). Women view you as disposable in dating apps. We all know that the ratio of guys to girls is uneven with men being the majority. For that reason, women don’t settle for anything less than what they fantasize about. However good you and your intentions are, you will be ignored or blocked at any given chance. Dating apps are also bad for guys since their interests are hardly put into consideration. A woman getting a bunch of matches might assume all potentials just because she doesn’t feel an interest in any. This makes it bad for guys since no one is attracted to you enough to connect. 2. They are invisible Another reason why dating apps are bad for guys is because it can make a guy invisible. Consider a girl passing in a place where a bunch of guys are seated. You’ll only hear praises and compliments from every single one of them to the lady. If the same scenario happened but now with a guy passing where ladies are seated, he is not even likely to be noticed. That gives a clear picture of how invisible men can be without the right impression. (Another incredible article for you to read: What to do when your girlfriend ignores you). The same case applies to dating apps. Men compared to women have a hard time getting matches. You’re likely to get a few or no matches because the girls are just not interested. Only the most attractive and good-looking guys on these apps get the most attention. If you’re not in the bracket of the desirable men, then it will be hard for you to secure a date. Women are naturally choosy beings and more often will go for that one person who is captivating. A good guy will end up not being noticed with the excuse of him being flat in texting. A bad boy will be noticed for saying all the stuff that a girl wants to hear. Due to these misconceptions of bad boys being the fun ones, women end up attracting liars, users, and fake guys. Good and nice guys who are likely to be the majority become invisible in the eyes of the ladies. You might have the best intentions while reaching out to her on the dating coach for men app but she might not give you the attention you desire. 3. Men choose their date widely Unlike women, men swipe right on every girl they see. While this strategy is to potentially have at least one match, you might end up with nothing close to what your heart desires. You also need to be as picky as a girl by choosing that which you desire. If you’re not in the dating app to find casual sex, then avoid choosing a date widely. Be like a woman, only like what you wouldn’t mind having. The fact that men approach these apps with high hopes of finding the most attractive woman forces them to try their luck widely. (Learn how to draw in her attention and interest: How to get a womans attention). Choosing widely and not finding a date at all might make you frustrated with the apps. The dating app will be bad for you because of your poor strategies. 4. Unrealistic expectations Unrealistic expectations that most guys have when joining online dating is one of the reasons why dating apps are bad for guys. Most guys join dating apps with high hopes that they will find women who are equally after love. They will also expect girls to match with them on the other side and this can be frustrating if it doesn’t happen. These expectations arise because of thinking that the girls are looking for the same thing as you’re, to find a date. Women are very selective with their options. While you’re busy swiping right to every beautiful girl, she on the other hand is scrutinizing her options. Not having an open-mind ruins your chances of finding a date. (I’d highly recommend you read this: How to move on from a toxic relationship). When you have unrealistic expectations which are not met, you end up desperate. Your desperation will make you settle for anyone and chances are you’ll fall into the trap of the fake girl who is only after finding someone to use. 5. Most women are in it for excitement and fun You will find that men, unlike women, are more invested in dating apps. Study shows that a good number of women are in it for the attention they get. To them, it’s all fun and games to feel good. The thrill that comes with having hundreds of men in your inbox all telling you how interesting they are in you makes a girl feel excited. Even if you flood her inbox with a hundred messages, it’s very unlikely that she will match with you. (Do you want to know how to approach a cold? Read this: How to approach a girl). She will have more fun seeing desperate men in her inbox. To them, it is more about who gets more new catches while as a man you continue degrading yourself. 6. Too much focus on the physical attractiveness If your physical appearance is average and below, you’ll have it rough getting a match. Women will always go for the best. Men forget that they are all fishing for that one attractive girl. The chances of you getting her are slim. A beautiful girl will want to match with an equally handsome man. The fact that you put too much focus on how the girl you’re trying to match with looks makes you easy prey. If you manage to match with her, she’s likely to use you for her selfish gains. If you’re using dating apps, allowing your decision to be based on how a girl looks is highly likely to turn out badly for you. However, the same dating apps have worked for some people so it would be rude to rule them out completely. As a guy, some of the tips that will help you benefit from the dating apps include;
- Identifying what you want- you already have a reason as to why you joined the dating apps. Is it for casual sex or to find someone willing to be in a long last relationship? That is up to you. With this in mind, you will be in a position to know where to cast your net.
- Be yourself- do not try so hard to be whom you’re not to impress a girl. Chances are she won’t care that you went out of your way. Most women there are ungrateful and do not deserve being shown the kind of love you’re willing to give.
- Stay focused- you’re after finding a serious partner and you interact with a girl who tells you she wants nothing serious but to have fun with you. The wise thing to do is to ignore her. Her intentions are not good. Losing your focus will land you in undesirable situations.
- Be patient- keep trying your luck. You never know how things will turn out. If you have good intentions, you are likely to attract a person with similar values.
- Find the right dating app platform- do you just join any app, do your research on the apps that have worked for others. Some apps are only about connecting for a hookup and if that’s not what you’re after, then you don’t want to find yourself owning an account in it.
- Make meaningful connections- do not mind about the bad boy having the last win bullshit. If that’s not how you move and avoid pretending to be who you’re not. Approach girls without trying so hard to impress. Some girls will feel more connected with you for having good intentions.
Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.
He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.