A: Okay, firstly, just take it easy. You will get there, so don’t worry. Now, approach anxiety is a real thing that causes one to be tangibly afraid of approaching women. It is by far the biggest obstacle that keeps most guys from meeting new girls, not only you.
Why can’t I approach a girl? I am afraid, help me.
Now, we know anxiety is a real psychological issue that gives essence to approach anxiety. Whilst this is true, the factors that more often than not lead to approach anxiety render it as illogical and pointless in the first place. Here is why:
Rejection is part of the game.
Rejection is something that doesn’t sit well with most people, especially men who are trying to get women. Even so, those that haven’t been in the dating game for long enough to realize that rejection comes with interacting with fellow human beings. It’s part of the dating and relationship package.
It is, however, something you come to learn with experience. I, for a longest time, took rejection personally until someone told me what I’m telling you now, and it opened my eyes to a new viewpoint. Failure is part of success – one does not exist without the other. The same applies to relationships and rejection.
Also, you can’t be everyone’s prince charming. In the same way, you’re only attracted to a particular type of woman, girls also have a kind of man they want, and there’s nothing you can do if you’re just not her type. It’s not something you should even beat yourself up over.
When you learn to see rejection as a positive re- direction, you will soon see that she probably said no to you because she’s not ready for a relationship, you’re not what she’s looking for, or she’s dealing with something – more often than not you wouldn’t believe it but her reasons have little to nothing to do with you!
Women want to meet you.
Looking at a girl and telling yourself that she wouldn’t be excited to meet you is another thing that leads to approach anxiety. Taking this line of thought makes you view that particular girl as being “out of your league.” The last thing you need in life is disregarding yourself.
This is who I used to be a few years back. Every girl I came across seemed to be a league higher than I saw myself deserving. That was my life until I realized that you’re only as good as you think yourself to be – you’re only as worthy as you see yourself.
Why can’t I approach a girl? I am afraid, help me.
When you change your self- perception, you’ll soon realize that you have a lot to offer and that you are worth a minute of attention a woman can give. Right after I realised this, it just so happened that I was able to approach more girls- even those I thought to be out of my league before. The surprising part was that they were equally, if not more pleased, to meet me.
Iain Myles is an executive dating coach of Kamalifestyles. He specializes in coaching men who have been looking for dating success and chronically unlucky with women. He publishes regular infield dating videos and social experiments in KamaTV. He’s highly experienced in live training of our clients on streets, coffee shops, in bars and clubs.
Iain teaches the core principles of the approach that every guy needs to know to become successful in dating including confidence, conversational skills, connection and mind sets. He has been featured in top radios and newspapers in UK and Ireland.
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Iain Myles
Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.