Approaching a girl and making her feel comfortable around you requires a skillful act. It’s not all about saying the right things; it also has to do with how you act around her. It would look bad if you’re talking to her while your focus is elsewhere.
You approach a girl
The first impression you make will determine your fate. Let her know you’re all about her at the time and that she got your attention. This makes it easy for you to have her attention too. When a girl is interested in what you have to say, it becomes easier to have a conversation.
Also, when you manage to capture a girl’s attention and have listened to what you have got to say, your confidence will boost.
While this might seem like a nerve-wracking experience, it’s always good to have your composure in check before approaching a girl. Avoid the embarrassment of being out of words and tense in front of a girl you were meaning to impress.
In this blog, I’ll explore what do you say when you approach a girl for the first time to make sure that you make an impression that will bring her emotional guards down. You will also get an insight into the right words to put in a conversation to engage with a girl.
7 Great Tips on approaching a girl for the first time
- Make an observation
- Introduce yourself
- Compliment her
- Ask her questions
- Talk about yourself
- Discuss interesting topics
- Ask for her number
1. Make an observation
What do you say when you approach a girl for the first time? You might feel the urge to just rush to her; say what is in your mind and get done with it.
However, that would be a wrong move. Instead, take a moment to familiarize yourself with her environment. Being familiar with her environment will help you find something catchy to start you off in your conversation. Check the people around her and what they are doing.
Then shift your focus on the girl. Observe her mood, her looks, and body language.
- What is she doing?
- Who is she talking to?
- Does her mood feel off?
You don’t want to make a move when the mood is off. She might end up letting it out on you or completely ignoring you.
Making an observation will also help you loosen up a little tension giving you the confidence to approach.
While making an observation, you might also note her checking you out too. The signals you get while observing her might tell you whether to go ahead or to abort the mission. If she holds her eye contact for a second or smiles at you, make a move.
2. Introduce yourself
You now need something to say having approached the girl. Do not be overly self-conscious about how you introduce yourself. Start by introducing yourself calmly, confidently, and politely to set the stage for further conversation dating coach for men.
A few tips to enhance a good first introduction would be;
Walk up to her with boldness
Being courageous enough to approach a girl will make her intrigued in hearing what you have to say. Nothing is as attractive as a go-getter man being all positive about making an impression.
- Make eye contact while talking to her
This is a very important body language to use while communicating. It sends an important message that you’re listening and interested in talking to the girl. Maintaining eye contact is also a good way of projecting confidence and building trust.
Also, it is a good way to create a connection with the girl as they can understand the emotions you are passing along with your eyes.
- Charm her up with a courtesy
You don’t need to say something sexual to be charming. Being a gentleman is enough to have her interested in conversing more with you. Charming her with a gentleman act like buying her a drink or pulling a chair for her.
- Be patient
After introducing yourself to her, be patient to get her reaction. A girl that is interested in you will respond by introducing herself back. In case you notice that she is not interested in talking to you, simply walk away peacefully.
3. Compliment her
It takes balls to approach a girl and start a conversation without knowing well how she’ll react.
Your compliment should be intentional and valuable. You should come off like a real man, not a nice guy.
Let your praise be sincere. Women see through a man’s bullshit and when his compliments come with strings attached because they already know if they earned the compliment.
While observing the girl, there must be something you find intriguing and interesting enough to approach her. Share that as the compliment and she won’t end up feeling like you just made that up.
Do not be in a haste to compliment her physical appearance. You just met her and don’t want to come off as thirsty. Take your time to connect with her before you start giving her sexual compliments.
In summary to complimenting a lady when you approach her for the first time, there are a few guidelines that you shouldn’t forget;
- Don’t exaggerate- don’t try so hard to impress her. Bullshitting with lies only makes you a dishonest person to her. Let your compliment be real and believable. Telling her ‘she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seenis not believable.
- Be succinct –be straightforward and clear with the compliment you give. Don’t rumble your words like someone who is not sure of their words.
- Use compliments sparingly- avoid throwing them compliments one after another. You don’t want to come off as desperate and a fake who’s only after having a good time.
- Be authentic and creative- don’t just tell her that she’s beautiful and expect excitement from it. You have to be unique and compose your compliment to blow her mind. Taking your time to come up with the right words will make her feel special and appreciated.
4. Ask her questions
The easiest way to connect with a girl is by asking questions. However, you don’t want your conversation to come off as an interview. The trick is usually getting the right questions that will prompt the woman to respond. Asking an obvious question will make it look like you are making a desperate attempt to start a conversation.
Ask the girl questions that will trigger her to respond. A question like ‘what do you do for a living?’ sounds off. Such a question won’t trigger any emotions in the girl that inspires her to answer.
When you ask a girl something she has a strong opinion in or is passionate about, it will trigger an excitement that will make her respond. However, if you don’t have any clue about the girl’s interests, you can ask a basic question that can inspire a little conversation.
Without generalizing women’s interests, asking her if she has watched the new show, might be a good conversation starter.
She might want to share her perspective, and that will give you a foundation for building an interesting conversation.
5. Talk about yourself
When you’re talking to a girl, you have to remember that a conversation is two-way and not an interview. Throwing questions her way one after the other without sharing anything about you makes you look more like a stalker.
However, this does not mean that you monopolize the conversation. You can offer some information about yourself while still keeping the focus on her as the center of interest.
A good example to make this work is by asking about her hobbies. If you relate to a hobby that she likes, tell her. If she tells you she likes swimming and you do too, tell her.
While at it, you can try your luck by asking her to accompany you one fine day for a swim date. You never know, it could be your lucky day.
Another thing to say to a girl when you approach her for the first time is to offer a statement after a question. For example, after you ask her what her hobbies are, you can go ahead and say you like swimming, hanging out with friends, traveling, and reading books.
She’ll feel comfortable talking to you and answering your questions when you talk about yourself as well.
6. Discuss interesting topics
Do not be boring. When you feel like you are exhausted talking about yourself, come up with something interesting to discuss. By this time, you already know what she likes and what she doesn’t. With that information, you can initiate a topic.
Let the conversation be fun and ensure you have a good laugh. Nothing attracts a girl more than a man who can make her laugh.
Give her time to express her opinion openly without feeling judged. Also, you should be able to read her mood during a conversation. Don’t push the talk if you notice she’s not interested in it.
7. Ask for her number
Timing is crucial when you are thinking about what do you say when you approach a girl for the first time.
Women hardly share their contacts with people they don’t feel a connection with. If you manage to make her feel comfortable around you, it won’t be a big deal getting her number. You have to tread carefully with how you ask for it.
Do not be so confident that because you had an amazing conversation, she’ll share her number with you. She might be the type that takes her time before letting people in. Saying something like, “can I have your number now?” might make you come off as a rude and entitled person.
Tell her how much you enjoyed conversing with her and wouldn’t mind hanging out sometime. If she responds positively, ask her if she minds sharing her contacts with you to catch up on the plan later.
(Another incredible article for you to read: How to start a conversation with a girl on tinder).
However, if she holds back and hesitates to share her contacts, ask her if you can communicate on other social media platforms.
Final take
What do you say when you approach a girl for the first time is a question that now doesn’t have to give you anxiety or cold feet. A girl will judge you through the impression you make first. Therefore, you better make a good one. You’ll have a better chance of getting her to talk to you.
However, you might do all the right things and say the perfect words but she holds back on giving you her contacts. Do not push your luck too much; she might only have wanted the company at the time and nothing more.
Take the rejection with pride knowing that you tried and didn’t disappoint. Her behavior is out of your control.
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Iain Myles
Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.
