Hi whats up KamaTV… this is the dating coach Emre from kamalifestyles.com and how are you today? Hope all well anyway today I am here with another exciting video and I will be showing you a clip of a girl that I approach at the street and went on an instant and much more… I will also breakdown the strategies and talk about the top ten crucial mistakes men make with women. By the end of this video, you will have a clear strategy and awareness to avoid making these mistakes and clearly visualize how you can take action.
Men Make With Women
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As I said it before; I am discussing the crucial mistakes men make with women and guys there are so many subtle ways where we as men will naturally get it wrong. If you avoid the mistakes and learn from them, make the decision to work on your social skills; you put yourself so far ahead of the rest of the competition. In this video, you will see how I approached a very beautiful girl who was walking purposefully along one of London’s busy streets. I did not let the moment pass me by and I approached with a passion and excitement that was infectious which led to her stopping and engaging me in a very natural conversation. I do this all the time and made so many mistakes and learned from them. Here is my top ten which will help you to develop awareness and prepare you for the worst and the best.
Feeling intimidated by her.
State control is a big area that men have the opportunity to work on when it comes to learning the art of dating it is never a good idea to feed off your emotions instead learn how to control them. Alpha males will always challenge that butterfly feeling and take action anyway don’t give in to the apathetic state which leads to you checking for your latest match on Tinder. During this interaction, I simply offered her the opportunity to join me for coffee and luckily for her she accepted. I demonstrated clearly to her that I valued myself highly as I was not asking for her permission. Guys, there is a distinct difference between asking for permission and offering her the opportunity. It is vitally important that you portray that carefree confident vibe as opposed to the nice guy permission seeking slouch. Many guys are afraid to approach as they are fearful of how she will respond she needs to know that you do not give a damn if she says yes or no. Always remember guys that indifference makes all the difference when interacting with those beautiful women. This is something that you need to cultivate and practice over time. You will arrive at a point where that carefree vibe will be congruent and you will no longer be able to associate with that nice guy permission seeking frame. If you get intimidated, you fail. Here are the signs.
- Acting awkward
- not approaching
- being defensive
- not giving eye contact
- speaking quietly
- Thinking she is too beautiful or she is out of your league
- telegraphing high anxiety
- bragging to over compensate
- trying to downgrade her
are sign that you are intimidated by her. Guys click the card above to check my online confidence booster programme and it will help you to stop feeling intimidated by anyone and become a more confident male.
Approaching with poor mindset or not approaching.
It is important that you believe in yourself one hundred percent before you approach the girl; many guys are unable to disassociate from the outcome. When beginning to learn the skill of approaching girls many guys tend to believe that every response they get from the girl is somehow their fault. However, if you always do your best then there is nothing more than you can do, of course you will get better at this over time. It is vital not to judge yourself so harshly and never define your outcomes based on the reactions of those negative angry people. There is more than enough high-quality beautiful girls who would love to meet you. Remember that you get to decide what to attach and what not to attach meaning to. Do not personalize the behaviour of others around you. You have to focus on yourself and your own personal journey not everyone will like you or empathise with where you are currently at. We all have a long list of how decent human beings should or shouldn’t behave but if you are going become successful in this area of your life you must let go of your list of Ten Commandments. Appreciate that everyone is on a different journey and never engage yourself in that comparison mode it is a terrible strategy. Never qualify the girl based solely on how she looks there is nobody who is perfect do not buy into the stereotypes take action and create a positive feedback loop for yourself. Getting good at approaching girls is more about being brave and appreciating the fact that it is an experiential learning process. Guys click the above and view my ebook dating guide for men as I am covering every single approach strategies to get dates and create attraction with her.
Making her feel unsafe.
It is so important to know what stage you are at in the interaction often good guys who are taking action will ask for to much compliance to early. This will create an anxiety in the girl and you will not end up taking the interaction where you would like it to go. I did not make this fatal mistake I kept my proximity at a social distance until I knew she was fully comfortable with my presence. Then I proceeded to ask for her number and rather than using that as a trophy I kept the interaction going. Time is the most valuable asset when it comes to making women feel safe never rush the interaction. Always be leading know your logistics have a clear plan and execute on the plan. When you are second-guessing where you are going to take her it creates anxiety and doubt and she will not believe in you. Always be under the assumption that she will follow you to the next location women want to be around leaders. They are socially programmed into believing that they have a better chance of survival by being around guys who display those leadership qualities. Telegraphing leadership qualities will make her feel safe around you and she will respect your authority.
Treating her as a sexual object.
The girl wants to know that you are enjoying the conversation and that you are making an effort to get to know her. Maintain good eye contact and do not bring up anything to sexual as you will come across as needy, creepy and desperate. Sexual escalation requires time, trust, high level of comfort. Always remember that your job is to create those feelings of safety with the girl so she can feel the trust and comfort. Do not talk about how beautiful she is or the size of her boobs during the date. Instead, talk about the size of her girly hands and compliment her or challenge her to a thumb wrestle. Tell her some stories from your life that demonstrates your best qualities this will make you very attractive. Speak with passion and try to get her talking about the areas that she is passionate about. If she is talking about herself and investing in the conversation it means that she is beginning to trust you more.
Moving too quickly.
Do not try to rush the girl into going to your apartment instead take her to a few locations this will create those feelings of trust with the girl. It is important that you play to win and if you break the rules of the game almost certainly you will fail. It is important to have the correct mindset during the interaction. Do not take it for granted that she is on the date with you and showing an interest in you. You have only just met her do not become complacent or start rubbing her back or putting your fingers through her hair for the whole date. This will come across as too keen to early and unfortunately, it will cause you to lose the girl. If you make this fatal error it is like trying to catch a falling knife you will never be able to recover.
Sacrificing your identity for her approval.
Never seek her approval it is important that you are comfortable with your own identity; it is something that you need to own and become more confident about. You need to become comfortable talking about your life to strangers and girls. Do not be embarrassed or try to hide who you truly are this is never a good strategy and it is a very weak game. If you begin sacrificing your identity to seek her approval she will perceive you as a guy who has a distinct lack of confidence. Remember you do not have to be at your destination for the girl to like you. If she sees that you are ambitious with goals and dreams this is a very attractive quality. You do not have to own the house but working to buy a house will tell her that you are a man with dreams. It is that simple and authentic.
Not showing any vulnerability (Overly acting confident)
In order to sample the best things that life has to offer you must take risks, it is vitally important that you do not act overly confident and brag. That is very negative so be careful. By showing vulnerability she will be even more attracted to you as it shows to her that she will be able to relax and let go of any fear of judgment while being in your presence and will see you as a normal human being with flaws… This is not necessarily an easy thing to do for many guys and it is important to become aware of what it is that you are most fearful of. If you show no signs of discomfort to the girl she may consider you to be a player which is a turn off for many women.
Buying into her tests and getting emotional.
It is very easy to get excited when a girl begins talking about her past exploits where she may share stories about some of her wildest experiences. If she asks you a question such as what was your most embarrassing moment for example simply return the question or change the subject as you do not want to give away to much to easily about yourself. You need to keep some level of mystery without this it is likely she will become bored and lose interest in you. If you buy into her tests it kills the attraction it is crucial that you do not fail when it comes to her tests. Keep calm and don’t try to entertain her or qualify yourself as being this hilarious guy just relax and do not be reactive.
Being codependent on someone (not being independent)
If you can demonstrate to her that you are an independent guy who is living the life that he has chosen this is incredibly attractive. Be decisive irrespective of how you may think she is feeling. You cannot be on her agenda you are giving the girl the opportunity to share a wonderful experience with you. You are not trying to convince her to do anything. For example in this interaction I was going to a particular venue with or without her I simply gave her the opportunity to join me. Your party cannot be dependent solely upon her saying yes or no always show her that you have a plan B and that you have other people to see.
Trying to fix and cure in conversations.
You are not her psychotherapist. You are not there to fix. You may see her faults that she might not see or she might not even aware of it. It may create a huge problem to try to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with offering your help but you need to understand that fixing people requires professional help and you may not be equipped with the right mind set and tools. Plus it is not a wise way of starting a relationship where the other party requires fixing. So you need to stay away from people fixing. It would create a lot of weakness in your dating game. During the date if the girl is opening up to you about issues that she is currently facing in her life take it as a positive sign it means that she is more comfortable with you. She is not looking for you to fix her all she wants is for you to listen. It would be chivalrous move to point her at the right direction, if she willing to listen. But do not force and try to fix her.
Listen guys as can be seen from the footage there is a strategy behind this instant date and you can do it too. If you want to learn the secrets of the attraction and talking to women you like please click the link below and view our one on one training as my team and I covering every single strategies to get you a to b and turn you into a master dater. Also go to kamalifestyles.com and check out all our services and ebooks that have been written and developed by Kamalifestyles team members. Each product will help you to overcome your sticking point and help you to become better in dating. I hope you enjoyed the content and of course guys if you enjoy my video please like, share, comment and subscribe.
I am Emre and I hope to see you soon.