People always ask us what line should I use or they complain that when they approach a woman they never know what to say. If you search the internet, you will find thousands of different openers.
Some are good, some are ok and some are downright rubbish. The truth about conversation openers is that they are not very important. For example, you could have one guy telling a joke and it could be really boring and you could have another guy tell the exact same joke and it could be hilarious.
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What is different and why does he get a different reaction if the joke is the same? The answer is the way in which the second person tells it. The way in why the message is delivered is far more important than the actual content.
There are many studies that should that communication is made up of 55% Body Language, 38% Voice and only 7% actual words that are spoken.
That is why some many guys fail in their approach. They don’t come across as congruent. Their words give a completely different message that their body or voice and so they come across as fake and dishonest.
That is the problem with openers. If you are not fully confident with the words you are saying, then bin the opener. It is far better to come up with something basic and normal that you are comfortable with saying to virtually anybody than an elaborate, planned pitch that fails because you are expecting a response from somebody else.
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The key to attracting women is to be genuine and to have a natural conversation, while also implementing the core elements of attraction, such as touch. The conversation opener that we use 90% if the time is as follows – “Hi there, I was just walking by and you looked friendly so I said I would come over and say hi”.
If you say this with a smile, you are almost guaranteed to get a good response. It is not cringe worthy and if your mates heard you say it, you would not be embarrassed. The last thing you want to happen is for her to think you are playing her or to think you are using a pre rehearsed line. By using this opener, this will not happen.
The second opener is a funny one, best used in bars and clubs and usually gets a good laugh and a great reaction. Simply walk up to a group and say “Hey, I’m sorry I am late, the traffic was really heavy, did I miss much?” Once you say it with a smile, it will be enough to break the ice and get the laughing.
The most important thing in the first few seconds is that you make them laugh and smile. So the next time you go out, try these two openers and watch how easily the conversation develops from there. The art of attraction is a skill you can learn and once you master it, you can move your game to the next level very easily.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.