The worse thing to happen to someone while dating is to be flaked on, it is not a nice feeling at all especially if you really like that person.
Men will always have their own assumptions on why girls flake on them, some just brush it off and others are left hurt and rejected.
Understanding why women do certain things is often an impossible task as no one can understand what goes on inside people’s mind. How one girl will act can be the complete opposite to another.
Some girls like to play games and others don’t, but a man will always be able to tell the character of a girl once meeting her. Your instincts on a girl’s character are a main instinct that can save you.
Being flaked on is horrible but it is a very common occurrence when dating, it can be very annoying as you can feel it’s out of the blue and that you were doing everything right.
However, being flaked on is never just out of nowhere girls give guys many signs you just must know how to detect them.
This is something we can help you with!
In this article, you will get to understand the early signs and hints girls give 1. before they are going to flake on you and 2. when they are flaking on you. You will have a better understand on how to try and avoid being flaked on and how to deal with being flaked on.
Gabriella and Iain understand the struggles on men being flaked on and are here to help.
First let’s explore on how to prevent being flaked on:
The best way to try and prevent being flaked on is to pick the girl wisely. A man will always have instincts on the character of the person they are talking to. Try to pick a girl who is still attractive in your eyes but is a lovely person on the inside also.
Kind girls’ wont flake on you if it’s not in their character to play games then they won’t! You need to take this into consideration. Sometimes it is better to pick a girl on their personality first and then look at their looks.
Nice girls will often feel bad about flaking and will still give you a shot even if they don’t want to. Who knows the second time they see you they might like you, it’s always easier to win over nice girls because they won’t shut you down straight away like girls who are overly confident.
However, men love the chase and often like girls who plays games it keeps them interested but you must think girls that always play games, will rarely stop even when you want to be serious with them. So, pick wisely and you can avoid the games and being messed about.
Flaking usually comes down to the girl having no interest in you, she may have shown you a good time when you first met her but that is just girls in the moment. Girls may say things they don’t mean in the moment like “I want to see you again” just so it is not awkward, and some girls might just be using you because they are bored and then flake when better plans come along.
The good thing about girls is if they are not interested in you, they will move on quickly so even if they seemed interested the first time, they met you, when you try to make plans after that, you will be able to tell if they are just not feeling it.
Now let’s understand the hints girls give………
1. Before they are going to flake on you:
If they show no interest: If a girl shows no interest in, you and your plans then she is most likely going to cancel last minute. If someone does not want to do something they most likely will not see it through even if they said they would.
You are always making the plans: A girl who does not message you first at any the time you are talking or if you are having to double message her about the plans, is as If she is trying to put your plans off and give you the hint she does not want to come.
They don’t give you a definitive answer to your plans: If she does not tell you, she will hundred percent be there, then she is still open to other plans that day, which is not good because if something better comes along, she will cancel on you.
“Call me the day off”: A girl that uses this response to your plans is hoping you will forget about them and make other plans. She won’t give you a definitive answer because she does not want to come, and she won’t say no either because she does not want to let you down harsh or if nothing better comes along, she will come. Just remember if a girl is interest in you, she will make the time to see you. If a girl wanted to, she will no one is ever too busy.
Not being excited about the plans: If you can tell she is not enthusiastic about the plans this is a red flag. A girl that wants to come will be planning her outfit, asking you questions about the date. You will see her vibe towards the date when you ask her out, if it is a good one then she is interested if it’s a bad one then she does not want to come.
Telling you she is a very busy person: Any girl that is saying she will have to see her schedule and see if she can fit you in is not bothered about see you so don’t waste your time it is very likely she will flake.
2. Signs they are flaking on you:
Cancel last minute: If she cancels last minute, she never wanted to go on the date, unless it is an actual reason. But if she was giving you off signs since you have been messaging her then she was always going to cancel last minute.
Lame excuse: If she gives you a ridiculous excuse that does not sit right with you, she is trying to get out of the date. The most common excuse is the “family emergency” excuse or that she needs to work. None of this is true she just does not want to come.
Not showing up: Not coming to the date demonstrates how much she is not interested there is no way you could win her back after her standing you up, you should not even want to. She clearly has no interest at all.
Making up an excuse on the date: If she shows up on the date then randomly gets a call saying she needs to go, don’t be fooled this was all planned she just did not have the heart to tell you she does not want to come. If you then continue to ask her out again but she keeps making excuses, what she did on the date was hundred percent planned.
No response: If she is ghosting you a few hours before the date or if she has blocked your number or unfollowed you, she’s rejecting you and does not want to go on the date
Now that you know the signs to look out for, here is how to deal with being flaked on.
Brush it off and act like you don’t care, the girl will be expecting you to react if you don’t do this, it might make her more interested in you and she might say let’s re arrange, or she might even make other plans with you, this is a possibility.
Make sure you don’t air her take a little longer to reply to her, but say something to her that shows you don’t care like “no worries”, don’t be petty with your response such as saying “ I was going to cancel anyways”. Just be cool and collective and then don’t message her after. If you have been constantly messaging her, she will expect for you to re message her and ask her out again, just like the saying goes absence makes the heart fonder.
Just remember to not make any follow up plans, chasing someone who has just flaked on you shows you don’t value your own time and can make you appear weak and needy. These are two traits’ women find very unattractive.
Being flaked on is not the worst thing to happen to a person, it happens to the best of us. Just don’t let it affect you.
If you have been flaked on in the very early stages of meeting a girl it’s the rejection that is hurting you more than the actual loss of the person, and that’s normal just don’t take it personally and get back into the game. You need to go out there and meet new people.
You need to keep yourself busy so you are not thinking about the situation and try and become the best version of yourself if you feel happy within yourself you will attract the same energy.
Women can sense a confident man from one who is insecure. No women wants a man who is not confident within himself, this all starts with you.
Everything happens for a reason, and in every situation that may look like a negative one, you need to see the positive in it.
Yes, you have been flaked on but maybe there is someone better out there for you and this girl would have abstracted you from meeting the right one.
Don’t dwell on the fact you have been flaked on there are plenty of fish in the sea and many girls that will not flake on you. So, pick your options wisely. It is not worth it. Just get back out there and meet some new people.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.