We live in a world where girls grow up watching fairy tales. They are called princesses from birth and they expect to be treated like one when they are dating.
Movies and media display what romance should look like. It’s chocolates after flowers and flashy presents. Thinking about it, it’s more like being in a relationship is a business transaction and the guys have to pay for it.
The unrealistic expectations that people have about relationships have made dating expensive and challenging for most people. Guys want what they fantasize about when they start a relationship, and women want what they dream of.
How do you stay on top of your dating game when the rules keep changing every night? Most dating and relationship advice runs out of relevance before you even get to practice them.
(what girls think about skinny guys: Do girls like skinny guys?)
In this blog, I’ll give relationship advice for men that have been tested by time but still stand.
When you look at dating and relationships closely, there are things that have remained constant even with the rapid changes.
The best way to beat the system is to know what the system is built on. Let’s explore the relationship advice for men that will put you at the top of your game:
1. Women are not better than men.
Most guys go into a relationship thinking it’s a flex to have scored the most beautiful woman on the planet. Well, it might be a flex but at what price.
When you are in a relationship and you feel you are lucky to have a woman dating you, then you need to take time off. A woman accepting to date a guy is not a favor to the guy.
Women get into relationships they see they can benefit from. It might not be a financial benefit but it will be something she desires.
(Are you stuck in what feels like a bad relationship? If so then read this: How to move on from a toxic relationship).
The truth about relationships is that they are selfish in nature. People only get in relationships they can gain something from.
The problem of thinking that you’ve landed a jackpot by dating a woman is you might be willing to take anything from her to keep the relationship. She’s not one in a million, and for sure you’ll not end up single for the rest of your life if she leaves.
The first relationship advice I’ll give men is to be in a relationship with a woman who values you the same way you value her.
2. There’s no unconditional love.
Why would love be unconditional in a romantic relationship if everyone got in the relationship for selfish reasons?
Unconditional love looks good on paper and movie plots. That’s it! The reality is a woman will not stick around when you have nothing to offer her throughout. Relationships are built on more than love.
Most relationship advice for men encourages them to be the bigger person in the relationship. I disagree. Relationships are partnerships and if your partner doesn’t play her role then the relationship becomes one-sided.
(You need to figure out how to get her to truly like you. Here’s an awesome FREE eBook for you: Get a Girl to Like You).
Before you get in a relationship, understand what you are willing to give and compromise to make the relationship work. With the same energy, understand what you desire to gain in the relationship.
You’ll have a much happier relationship when you are not giving up more than you bargained for and you are receiving what you desired.
3. Have a life before and when in a relationship
The adrenaline and thrill of newfound love can be intoxicating. Yeah, that’s why you’ll say drunk in love. However, when you start sobering up, what do you have around you?
It’s normal for you to spend a lot of time with your new girl. But the more you stay with a girl, the better she understands you. If your life revolves around her, she’ll figure you out then they’ll be nothing new to thrill her with.
Maintaining individual life even when you are in a relationship is important. I’m not saying that you keep secrets from her. But you need to have something going that’s for you without her.
You’ll find it easy to assert your value in the relationship when you have other things going on in your life.
4. Learn from experience.
Women are not that different from each other. The feelings that a woman has for you are what might make her treat you differently.
Learning from women around you can make you a better person when it comes to choosing and settling in a relationship. Take from experience how you interact with women.
We are unique and the way I approach dating and maintaining a relationship is different from you. You’ll face some unique sets of challenges in the relationships that you engage in.
(If you’re looking to reignite the relationship then this article will really help: How to fall back in love).
How do you relate with your female colleagues, friends, and acquaintances? Answering this question might be the best relationship advice you ever got.
If women around you take advantage of you, chances are that will also be the case when you get into a relationship. Understand what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to interacting with women.
5. Evaluate the quality of her social connections.
Everyone thinks they are special and they will have it better until the hammer lands on you. You are here for genuine relationship advice for men and I’ll not sugarcoat it.
Before you get into a relationship with a woman you fancy, evaluate the quality of her social connections. A woman with solid social connections is likely to be a keeper.
When a woman talks ill to you about her close friends, you are next in the line. I’m talking about the woman spitting bile about her friends and you can’t see how she can justify it. That’s a red flag that she doesn’t value even her close connections.
6. Know when to walk away.
One important relationship advice for men is to know when to walk away from a woman. Trust me, it’s never that serious! There are so many guys that have to hold on to lousy relationships because they don’t know what to do if they walk away.
You don’t need to know what’s next. What you need is to be in a relationship that you feel valued and loved. Soulmate or not, if she’s not treating you right, keep the search going.
(Here’s another great article for you on shifting your mind away from your ex: How to stop thinking about your ex).
Sometimes women test guys’ boundaries to see how long their leash is. The more you allow a woman to push your boundaries, the less you’ll feel valued in a relationship.
But when a woman understands that the relationship is built on mutual interest, love, and affection, she’ll be inclined to do right by you.
7. Communicate with your woman.
A relationship is made progressive when both sides are content. Guys are problem solvers and logical with their thinking patterns. However, women don’t always need things to be fixed or told what to do.
Sometimes women talk so that they can communicate what they are feeling. Listening allows you to get the emotions behind her words. You’ll be in a better position to act right when you understand where she’s coming from.
Building a smooth communication system makes relationships strong. You’ll know when there’s a problem and tackle it together.
When you have a clear communication channel with your girl, it becomes easy for you to call her out when you see something is wrong. She’ll not take it as an act of war.
8. Understand your girl
Relationships have a significant influence on your personality and life than most may realize. When you are in a relationship, it’s like you’ve given her shares in your life. You’ll both make decisions that affect each other directly.
Understanding the girl you desire before committing to her gives you an insight into her core values, interests, and principles. You’ll be able to know what you have in common and what you don’t agree on.
(This blog article will help you understand your partner more: How to make a woman fall in love with you).
When you get into a relationship and you have conflicting core desires, it becomes challenging to navigate the relationship forward.
For example, if your career requires you to move around frequently and she’s not the long-distance type of relationship girl, you’ll not last long.
9. Make your woman feel special.
Getting into a relationship is the easy part. How to maintain a vibrant and happy relationship is where the test lies.
Beautiful women are approached by guys all the time even if she has five wedding rings on her hand. However, what makes a woman stay and not get tempted to share the cookie is how you make her feel.
When a woman feels special around you, she’ll have no reason to step outside. As a matter of fact, women tend to be more submissive to guys that make them feel special. They’ll glow in their feminine energy and let you take the lead.
Understanding your girl’s love language will make it easy for you to always wow her. Listening will also put you in a better position to be a hero.
10. Don’t shy from arguments
The last relationship advice for men that I’ll issue today is don’t shy from arguments. It’s normal for relationships to have misunderstandings. You are unique people trying to find harmony.
Arguments can make a relationship grow solid because it helps you define boundaries and understand each other better. When you are arguing with your girl, try to understand where she’s coming from.
(Here is an insightful article on how to connect with your partner: How to win a girls heart).
It’s not about who wins the argument. Your ego won’t be hurt if you realize in between the argument that you were in the wrong and apologize.
When you admit when you’re in a relationship, your girl should also have the courtesy to do the same. It takes both your efforts to make it work.
Relationships are unique and for you to be happy you need to know what you want. Chances are that your first relationship will not be your last. But you’ll get better at it as you gain more experience with women.
Men that are good with women or relationships don’t have a special gene. The difference is they found a harmony that most relationships struggle to find. Be authentic and trust that you’ll attract a perfect blend for you.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.