When I first started out with improving my dating life I approached women in bars and during the day and I never really went near night clubs because I found them too difficult to operate in. The clubs were noisy, full of drunk and loud guys and the girls were obnoxious and rude.
But I knew that deep down that I was lying to myself and I adopted this negative and limiting mind-set from a young age to spare me from the pain of rejection. Another reason that I found it harder to keep believing this was that I had friends that were able to consistently get results in clubs and I felt that ultimately I was copping out.
So below I will share with you some tips on how I eventually mastered night clubs.
Approach, Approach… and Approach Some More
This is something that I you should always do anyway no matter where you are but this is especially the case when you are in nightclubs. The minute you walk in the door and you see a girl you like whether she is on her own or in a group just approach straight away.
Remember the 3 second rule, when you see her just approach her without thinking. Do not worry what to say just let your feet do the talking for you. The reason why this is so important is that if you choose not to approach from the start you will start to stay in your head and have a conversation with yourself and you will find it harder to approach in the long run.
I used to do this myself and I have seen many guys both friends and clients make this mistake. My mentality to when I first start approaching women in nightclubs is that the first few are just warm ups, they may reject me or walk away but over time I will get sharper.
This is something that you should be very aware in which how you are portraying yourself in terms of your body language. Remember over 90% of communication is nonverbal so how you are feeling will be portrayed through your body language.
The biggest mistake guys make is that they fidget nervously and usually hold their drink close to their chest as a subconscious way of protecting themselves.
(Learn how to seduce properly by reading this amazing blog article: How to Seduce a Woman).
Instead to stop yourself from fidgeting keep your hands close to your pockets with one thumb in each pocket, this will make it hard for you to fidget as you are keeping your hands occupied.
Also keep your drink at waist length as your body language will appear as more confident and open. Keep your head high and shoulders back and never lean in when you are talking to a girl. If she is small pull her closer to you.
Get To Know Everyone
When you first start approaching and you continue to do so throughout the night you will find that you almost know every group and that there is hardly anyone left to approach.
This is actually a good thing as it will be easier for you to restart a conversation with a group as they already know you. Make a conscious effort to know their names as they will make a shift in their head that they already know and trust you.
Many guys make the assumption that if you start approaching a groups close to each other that you will lose their acceptance and trust. This is not the case and in fact it will achieve the opposite as it will social proof you as you will be seen as a high value and social guy.
Know Your Structure
The basic structure that I teach all my students when it comes to approaching and starting a conversation is approach, hook and develop a connection and then close with a number. When it comes to night clubs you have to do this a lot faster.
Firstly you will have to accept that you will get rejected a lot more because of the loud music and atmosphere as it is too much effort to talk to someone if they can’t really hear you.
(Another incredibly useful article to ensure you get her hooked: How to get a girl to like you).
Do not take this personally if she walks away from you just approach someone else. The more you approach in nightclubs, the sharper you will become. When you engage a girl for the first time you need to kino her straight away,
put your hand lightly on her waist and speak into her ear, if she is small or she cannot hear you then pull her gently towards you. Remember connection is based on touch so in nightclubs because of the loud environment you need to do this a lot quicker and faster.
If she is still talking to you she is likely interested but you need to move fast. You will not be able to develop a proper connection with her if you cannot speak to her properly so it is important that you lead her to quieter area like a seated area or a smoking section.
Night clubs can be intimidating and you do not have to go there to meet women but if you decide to master it then your overall skill with dating will drastically improve as a result.
The most important aspect to remember is that you are meeting beautiful women and that it is something that you should find rewarding and enjoyable.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.