The Key to Guaranteeing a Second Date
Many guys make a lot of mistakes when going on a first date with a girl, some of the mistakes they are aware of and most of the mistakes they make they are not even aware of and they find themselves scratching their head wondering where they went wrong.
Instead of going into too much detail of what mistakes guys usually make on first dates, I will instead cover the right way of going on a first date. If you are one of those guys that feel that they are in the dark when it comes to going on dates then read on.
First Date Anxiety
I have mentioned previously how most guys suffer from approach anxiety, it may not be as intense as feeling anxiety before your first date but I’m sure that you have felt it in the past. This is like approach anxiety is mainly rooted in being outcome dependant.
“What if she doesn’t like me?”, what “if the date goes horribly wrong?” You really like the girl and you don’t want to mess it up with her and as much as it is good that you genuinely want the date to go well, thinking this way will only put unnecessary pressure on yourself.
(Here’s an example of a great article on getting her attention: how to get a girls attention).
Instead develop an attitude that it is only a date and you should be looking to see if she is right for you and look at the date as an opportunity to improve your dating skills. If you look at it this way you will actually enjoy the date far more because you will relax a lot more because of your shift in your attitude towards your date.
And the more dates you go on the more comfortable you will become and your dating skills will improve as a result.
Planting Seeds/Building Comfort
Building on from my last point, it is important that you feel comfortable as the next important aspect is being able to build a connection with the girl and to do this you obviously need to be comfortable yourself first.
The Key to Guaranteeing a Second Date
Once you feel this way you will be better able to be that guy that all your friends and family really like and let your qualities shine through. Don’t be afraid to be yourself around her as she will also act accordingly.
Remember she agreed to go on a date with you because something about you attracted her and this is a chance for you to really bring this out.
This is another essential part of comfort building. Introduce light touching through the conversation from the start to the end of the date.
Examples of this would be asking where she got her earrings or ring on her finger obviously this is giving you a chance to hold her hand and touch the side of her neck. We all love to be touched by our family and friends and women are no different.
It is important that you should get her comfortable kissing you during the date and touching her lightly as you engage her in conversation will make her more comfortable and far more receptive to being kissed as a result. Most guys make the mistake of not touching her at all and end up being put in the draft zone.
It is almost as important that you break rapport as much as you build rapport with your date. Another way of looking at this is throwing in snippets of you wanting her as a woman.
(I’d strongly recommend reading this article to sharpen your flirting skills: How do you flirt with a girl).
A good example of this would be in the middle of a conversation you could say that you like her hair or her eyes and then switch back to your conversation. Most guys make the mistake of giving her too much value and complimenting her too much.
If you do what I recommend she will appreciate your compliments far more if you just say it the odd time.
No matter what you read different in some magazines or books, men want women to be women and men to be men. And of the biggest attributes that a girl looks for in a guy is his ability to lead.
Never leave a decision to her on the first date, be prepared and know where you want to take her. Once you are aware of these small details when it comes to dating your success will drastically increase.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.