It’s survival of the fittest.
Hot girls get texts from all the guys that can get an audience with them and manage to get a number. Boring texts can make a woman ignore you even if you had something going on when you first met.
One thing that you should know when you are texting a girl for the first time is that your text is an extension of personality and individuality. That’s not all! There are a couple of tricks and techniques you need in your bag when you want to wing your game with girls.
In this blog, we’ll look at different ways of how to text a girl for the first time.
By the end of the blog, you’ll know how to capture a girl’s interest and attract her with your texting game.
1. Start with a bang!
There’s nothing that the girl you desire hasn’t heard. Beautiful women get countless texts and if you want to get her attention, you’ll have to stand out.
“Hey, there! Hi, gorgeous!” These are lines that her barista will use when opening a conversation. Your text should make her want to leave whatever she’s doing and text you back or make her want to create time to just chat with you.
(Here’s an incredibly useful article on how to get things going: How to hit up a girl).
Starting with a bang triggers an emotional reaction. You have an engaging conversation fast when a woman feels emotionally attached.
Starting with a bang is not always easy because you don’t know what the woman is into. Keep your text confident, respectful, charming, and fun. You’ll always get a reply and you can build up your game from there.
2. Get to know the girl.
When you start texting a girl and become too sexual very fast, she’ll withdraw from you. You’ll start having a monologue.
Texting a girl is like talking to her but without physical touch. Getting to know the girl makes her feel comfortable around you because she’ll also get to know you. Trust will start building.
When you capture a girl’s trust, she becomes more flexible with her boundaries. That gives you the golden ticket to escalate without much resistance.
(Learn how to seduce a woman properly. Read this article: How to Seduce a Woman).
Make your texts inquisitive without them seeming intrusive. Get to know what she likes, what she thinks about different aspects of life, or her core values and principles.
Women desire guys they feel understand them. Getting to know the girl will build her confidence in you.
3. Show interest in her.
Texting can become boring fast. Today you are texting each other at the interval of seconds and before you know it she takes the whole day to reply to your texts.
Women withdraw from guys they can’t tell their intention or guys that seem to have malicious intentions. Showing your interest in the girl will clear any room for doubt.
(Clear any risk of doubt after reading this fantastic article: how to get a girls attention).
It can be challenging to come up with compliments that seem genuine over texting. But it’s not impossible.
Displaying your mastery in flirting is a sneaky way of showing interest. Avoid being too sexual when you are flirting if it’s the first time you are doing it.
4. Build her interest in you.
One challenge that most guys face when texting a girl for the first time is making the girl attracted to them. Most guys make conversations rigid by stating too many facts. Logical conversations can trigger a lot of arguments because of perspectives.
You can build a woman’s interest in you by building an emotional connection. You can build a healthy emotional dependency over time when you have a good connection. It will make you valuable to the girl and you can launch an escalation move.
Making a woman attracted to you especially over text requires mastery in understanding and provoking the emotions you want to connect with. Listening to the girl can unveil more about her that you can use.
Inspire her to open more about herself. Understand where she’s struggling and be a hero or offer a listening ear. Sometimes women just want you to hear what they are saying. If you can get her to count on you over text, you can get her attracted to you.
5. Help her understand you.
How to text a girl for the first time is challenging for both you and the girl. You don’t know what to tell the girl and the girl might have a hard time coming up with a reply to your text.
It’s very difficult to make a conversation with someone you don’t know. You are careful about everything you say hoping that you don’t offend them. The safe technique of communication is boring and that’s what gets you the VIP seat in the friend’s zone.
(I’d highly recommend the following article for some general tips on texting:How to get to know someone over text).
You can stretch the boundaries of your conversation with a girl when you help her understand you. A girl will feel comfortable when she feels she knows you. She’ll start opening up to also make you understand her.
It won’t require an excruciating amount of effort to impress and attract a girl that knows you. You can tell her stories about yourself that display your strengths. Mix it up with some that show your vulnerability as it attracts emotional connection.
6. Display positivity.
I said earlier that your text is an extension of you. Wouldn’t it be exhausting if you were talking to someone who had nothing but complaints about everything? You’ll have anxiety after the conversation which will prompt you to avoid any more encounters with the person.
Women all feel the same way about guys that complain a lot. It’s unfair to judge people, but a girl will judge you with how you text. Displaying positivity when you are texting indicates that you are a fun guy to hang with.
(Do you feel like you complain a lot? If so you should read this: Mindset Coaching).
It will be challenging for a girl to ignore your texts when they always make her smile. She’ll want to talk to you when she’s experiencing a lousy day to make her day better.
That’s a jackpot because you’ll always know what’s happening in the girl’s life. You have it easy to keep the conversation going and even escalating.
7. Let her lead.
Excitement can get the best of you when you text and she replies. Most guys lose the women they want at this point because they take it as a chance to qualify themselves. The downside of that is it will be challenging to keep the woman’s interest when the whole conversation is based on you selling your strengths.
How to text a girl for the first time can be made simpler if you let her do most of the talking. You’ll get to know more about a girl when she takes the lead. You’ll get a glimpse of what she’s into and what turns her off.
You’ll be able to gauge a girl’s interest in the topics she’s exploring while texting you and how she’s engaging you. A girl that’s interested in you will want to keep the conversation flowing. She’ll introduce topics that can allow you to escalate smoothly.
You’ll find it easy to start a conversation with girls over text. But a few tricks will make your first time memorable:
Text when she’s likely to see your text.
It can be overwhelming to answer all the chats from all your social media platforms and still be able to work. Texting new people might seem like a bother. That’s not the first impression you want when a woman sees your text notification.
Most people go through their phones in the evening to see what they missed. Texting her in the evening is the best time to initiate a conversation. After a long day, who’ll want to miss a chance to smile?
Make use of emoji and memes.
Texting doesn’t have to be boring with long threads that make it look like you are going to sit for an exam. Using emoji and memes can make your texting seem goofy and light. You also have the option of sending audio when the message is long for a text.
These are techniques that make a woman comfortable when she’s chatting with a new guy. However, it also depends on the girl you are texting. Some girls don’t get the meme or emoji communication.
(Here’s another great article on texting I’d recommend you read: How often you should text a girl to keep her interested).
Observe the girl’s texting patterns. If she uses memes and emojis, then she understands them. You can bring more life into the chat using them.
Hit the climax early
You can be successful to text a girl for the first time but get ignored in the subsequent chats. That will mean that she wasn’t impressed with the chat or you were a cliché.
Hitting the climax when you text her can build her eagerness to want to talk to you. It also builds mystery that will get the girl’s attention hooked on you. Take the conversation as high as you can then start withdrawing and when she starts to chase, pull out of the conversation and schedule for a chat.
Master the art of conversation
You’ll increase your success with women whether you do a cold approach or try to score them via text when you master the art of conversation. It gives you finesse and an edge that most women find attractive and charming in guys.
How to text a girl for the first time depends on your intention and the approach that you want to take. It’s possible to build the crucial pillars that form a stable relationship like trust and comfort over text.
Lack of confidence and desperation can be picked even via text. Understand that some women will be impressed with your game and some will not. Take texting like you would when you cold approach a girl and build your game.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.