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How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you

How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you

Girlfriend is lying

The ups and downs of romantic relationships are inevitable. And that makes it normal for couples to sometimes emotionally drift away from each other. Your mind can create difficult scenarios to imagine when you feel emotionally distant from your girlfriend.

The thoughts of infidelity can be crippling. The best way to deal with and overcome them is to know the truth. However, most women will lie to you if they were cheating because they don’t want to take accountability for the grave pain their actions might have triggered.

In this blog, I have merged experiences and knowledge shared by various behavioral analysts, deception detection specialists, and relationship experts. You’ll read about various ways of how to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you.

What are the early signs of infidelity and what signs show your girlfriend cheated on you and guilt is consuming her?

  • Change in communication patterns
  • Change inhabits
  • She dives deep into thoughts.
  • A disconnect between nonverbal and verbal communication
  • She protects her phone with her life.
  • She physically distant
  • Projecting and deflecting

1.      Change in communication patterns

The first fool-proof way of how to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you is to analyze your communication patterns. Communication is by far one of the most crucial pillars that maintain harmony and emotional bond in a relationship. Severed communication can be a sign of emotional drift.

When your partner is lying about cheating on you, they’ll try to be very cautious about what they say. They’ll second guess the experiences you’ve shared and those that she got from someone else if the affair has been going on for a while. To maintain her cover, she might reduce communication frequency.

(Perhaps you could try online dating: How to get more matches on tinder).

You can also know that something is wrong when you notice that your conversations are too filtered or generic. Infidelity can make a woman uncomfortable around you and sever the emotional connection between you. That will subconsciously affect the emotional depth of the conversations you have.

When should you raise the infidelity eyebrow?

  • She excludes you from important events in her life.
  • She stops talking to you about her needs.
  • She stops seeking your input on some of the things that she would have always run to you.
  • She starts taking longer to reply to your texts or calls.
  • You feel it takes a lot of effort to talk to her.

2.      Change in habits

You can tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you with how she behaves. Change is how we progress and develop ourselves into the people we aspire to be.

However, there are changes that occur as a result of new activity or influence. People pick up the preferences and qualities of other people to impress them or find harmony in the new relationship.

(A great article on how to make friends with the opposite sex: How to make female friends).

If your girlfriend is cheating on you, at a subconscious level, she’ll have to make adjustments to accommodate the other person. She’ll also have to make adjustments that will keep her guilt-free.

For instance, she might avoid going with you to familiar places where you might bump into the guy.

When you confront your girlfriend about a change in behavior and she denies it, that is a cause for alarm. Since it’s a change structured to disguise her activities, she might be quick to deny them to throw you off the trail.

3.      She dives deep into thoughts.

You don’t have to go overdrive on your thoughts when you are telling the truth. That brings us to another way of how to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you.

Lying is a mentally demanding task because one has to consider all the possible gaps in their stories that might give away their lies. You’ll know a woman is lying about cheating on you if she takes longer to answer simple questions.

You might notice sudden stillness in their body language or signs of intense focus from their eyes. That’s a tell-sign that your woman is analyzing the whole scenario to come up with an outcome that favors her.

(Another incredible article for you to read: How to get girls to like you).

For example:

You: Did you leave the office early? I called and they said you were gone.

Her: What did they tell you? (If your girlfriend is lying, she’ll have to predict all the facts that you have and don’t have. She might ask you questions to help her narrow down what you know.)

You: Nothing much. Just that you were unavailable. 

Her: Oh, I went to meet with Jane. (It could have been an easy answer to give when you asked the question without having to probe you.)

4.      A disconnect between nonverbal and verbal communication

How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you is easy if you can detect a disconnect between nonverbal and verbal communication. When you are communicating, nonverbal cues go a great deal to make it easy for the other person to understand what you are saying.

How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you

It is challenging to lie to someone that you are emotionally attached to because of the guilt that it triggers. Your mind disconnects your emotions to what you might be saying, which makes it easy to lie. However, the disconnect can always be seen from a person’s body language and nonverbal cues.

(Learn how to draw in her attention and interest: How to get a womans attention).

Here are tips on some of the nonverbal cues that will show you that your girlfriend is lying:

  • Fidgeting– It can be a sign that your girlfriend is nervous and anxious about what she’s saying. It’s a soothing technique that distracts the person from the battle that goes on inside.
  • Avoids eye contact– People always feel you can tell their lies through their eyes. Avoiding eye contact dilutes the emotional connection that a person has in the situation. It can help a girl to consciously avoid recognizing the pain their lie might cause you.
  • Withdrawn body language– When a woman is lying to you she might lean away from you. Most people will subconsciously feel unsafe when they are lying. Leaning away helps to create psychological distance which your girlfriend will need to maintain her cover during the lie.

5.      She protects her phone with her life.

Phones have no secret and one can never be too careful about covering their infidelity tracks. How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you can easily be drawn from how your girlfriend protects her phone. If she’s cheating, high chances are her phone could give you some clues of her malicious activities.

(A great article on How to tell if  she is avoiding you: How to tell if a girl is avoiding you).

When you are in a romantic relationship, you trust and feel comfortable with the person you are dating coach for men on so many levels. Although everyone is entitled to their privacy in a relationship, you’ll not protect your privacy if you knew it was putting your relationship to a test.

You’ll know a woman is hiding something if she spends too much time on her phone and she refuses to grant you access to eliminate your doubts. Or she’ll give you a phone that’s squeaky clean that has no record of any of her recent activities that could validate why she’s spending so much time on her phone.

6.      She physically distant

You can also tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you by the level of physical intimacy in the relationship. Your girlfriend’s sexual drive towards you might either go down or increase significantly.

When a woman is cheating, she’s getting sexual gratification from elsewhere. She’ll withdraw from you if she’s having more fun with the other guy.

(Another incredible article for you to read: What to do when your girlfriend ignores you).

On the other hand, her sexual drive towards you might take a sudden spike to cover what she’s doing. Overcompensating in the bedroom is a sign of infidelity that most guys miss.

However, you can tell if the sex is just physical or there is an emotional attachment to it. Most of the time when a woman is overcompensating, the sex will be more of physical activity than an emotional one.

7.      Projecting and deflecting

Projecting and deflecting is another surefire technique of how to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you. When your girlfriend is lying to you about cheating, she’ll try to avoid intense discussion on the topic. I always say the devil is in the details.

Your girlfriend is likely to switch the topic if she feels that you are closer to the truth. Deflecting is a common technique used when a person is lying to throw you off their tracks.

Projecting is when a woman starts accusing you of the same thing you confront her about. Projection subconsciously kicks in as a way to justify the lie. She might bring up your previous imperfections as a way to show you that you are the one who lies in the relationship.

(I’d highly recommend you read this: How to move on from a toxic relationship).

Your girlfriend is probably cheating if she tries to blame you for infidelity when you confront her about it.

Final Take

How to tell if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you is basically taking note of subtle changes in the relationship. The ‘routines’ in relationship form the baseline where you can gauge the changes occurring.

Some of these signs cannot be used in isolation to conclusively determine if your girlfriend is lying about cheating on you. Looking for more signs that can give you tangible evidence beyond doubt of what your girlfriend is doing.

As I always say, guys, trust your instincts because we pick more from the subconscious than we do consciously. Most of the time when you feel she’s lying, you have a 50% chance that you are right.

Dealing with infidelity can be nerve-wracking for most people. Nevertheless, it’s a path that you have to delicately walk to maintain your self-worth, confidence, and happiness. offers a great deal of information on relationships and dating that could help you become independent and happy in the relationships you find yourself in or out of.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

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Iain Myles

Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.

Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.