As I mentioned before, the biggest question that I get asked a lot is what the best pickup lines are but the fact that the guys that are asking me this question shows why they are not getting any results with meeting and dating women.
The more important aspect guys should be focusing on is what you say after you started a conversation with a girl.
Usually what happens is even if a girl might like you based on your looks or your energy or presence; the conversation will normally go nowhere if you do not know what to talk about with her. Below are some the main aspects that will make a conversation successful.
Frame control
This is one of the biggest pitfalls that most guys fall into especially when they meet women in bars and clubs. Attractive women that come to these venues will get approached many times by guys so they will usually have a very high opinion of themselves.
(Another incredibly useful article to ensure you get her hooked: How to get a girl to like you).
So when you approach them you are basically the next guy in line to try and impress them. Most guys have this mind-set and in order to succeed you need to change your mind-set. To be more specific you need to change your frame. We all have different frames of mind when we talk to different people in our day to day life.
If you are talking with your friend you will usually see him as your equal and if you are talking to your younger sibling you will talk to them as someone with less significance as in you are not trying to impress them because you subconsciously see them as lower in status to you.
That is why you will enjoy teasing them as you don’t really care what they think. Most guys give women too much status so instead you need to see them as your bratty little sister that you enjoy teasing instead of giving her importance or high status because she happens to have a good cheekbone structure and a good figure.
At the end of the day, she is only human like you and she has her own character faults and securities just like you.
Lead the conversation
When it comes to success with dating women you almost always have to lead and it is one of the most attractive traits that women look for in a man. And this starts right from when you start talking to her.
Most guys fall into the trap of trying to please her and hoping that they answer all the questions she asks correctly. The thing is that you don’t have to answer every question she asks you, women hate being asked the same boring predictable questions about their life and you should you tolerate it either.
If she asks you what you do for a living simply respond by saying something cocky and smart like “is this an interview? Next time I should bring my cv”, this is you subtly saying that you are not jumping through her rings.
(If I were you I’d definitely check out this FREE eBook to help you deal with rejection: Confidence Pillars).
Then when she responds in a positive way start leading the conversation to where you want it to go. This can be a great opportunity for you to let your true personality shine through in what your passions are and what your aspirations are in life.
Build a connection
What will really determine your success is how you develop a strong connection with a woman. The key to this is actually listening to what she is talking about. Most guys do not do this because they are neither too busy looking her up and down or are too nervous and worried about what she thinks to pay attention.
Not only is it showing that you are making a genuine effort to get to know her as a person, she is also giving you important information on how you can develop a strong connection with her.
For example, if you guess her occupation and she tells you she is a vet, you can ask her what the most strangest animal patient she had which could potentially lead into more conversation threads that you can develop more of a connection with her
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Iain Myles
Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.
