Approach Women, Confidence, Conversation

How to talk to girls at bars

How to talk to girls at bars

One of the most interesting places to pick up women is the bar. However, the liquid courage from the bottle makes the competition tough as most guys suddenly have the confidence and will to approach and game women. But it doesn’t always work out for everyone.

Women know that they’ll get potential suitors when they go to the bar. She’ll dress to impress and make sure her makeup is on point depending on who she wants to attract. This can make women dismissive of certain types of men that don’t match their intention.

Talk to girls at bars

Although some come to have fun without the intention of being approached, at the back of her mind she knows that at some point a guy might approach her. That can inspire her to be on alert to engage or dismiss men that approach her.

Nevertheless, you can be attractive to any woman at the bar regardless of her intention if you know how to talk to girls at bars. While other guys will approach with exaggerated liquid courage, you’ll master the confidence and composure to attract the woman you want.

In this blog, I’ll give you a guide on how to talk to girls at bars. It’s inspired by the years of experience of doing field training with guys that wanted to be excellent in their dating coach for men and approach game and my understanding of female dating psychology. It’s my desire that after reading this blog you’ll enjoy your bar experience more and you score the women you desire.

For example, one of the signs that a woman wants to sleep with you is touch. However, women use touch to communicate emotions. It can be used as a way to communicate friendship, trust, or comfort.

Your success in talking to women in bars is significantly dependent on how well you understand the setting. A girl that is out with her friends will not want to be isolated by a stranger. That will make you sneaky with your timing not to appear as a nuisance interrupting their fun.

Understanding the setting makes you flawless with the techniques you choose to apply. You’ll know if you have to make yourself social-proof to get a fair audience with the girl, close the gap between you, or use the bartender as your wingman? Let’s explore how to bring you’re A-game after you’ve got your setting right.

Make nonverbal communication

Talking to girls at bars can be challenging because of the loud music. If the woman you want is hanging out with her friends, it’s difficult to approach and start talking to her. The first step of how to talk to girls at bars is engaging them with nonverbal communication.

You are likely to experience more resistance when you startle a woman at the bar with your presence. She’ll want to first assess you and understand your intentions, which might take time and make conversation difficult. Nonverbal communication makes you visible to the girl you want.

The best part of starting with nonverbal communication is you get to gauge the girl’s interest before you approach. You’ll know a girl is not interested or the time is not right when you make eye contact and smile but she looks away without responding to your nonverbal cues.

Since the women at bars are extra cautious about guys that approach them, your body language becomes an instrumental part of your game. A positive body language facilitates trust and comfort before you approach. She’ll deduce your sense of humor, friendliness, and confidence from it.

A woman will be eager to talk to you if you can make her smile from across the bar without talking to her. The first impression and rapport built with nonverbal communication set you for success when delicately and skillfully executed.

Breaking the ice

I was at a bar once and the guy next to me dropped one of the lamest pickup lines that I felt sorry for him. The girl walked away as the guy took a big gulp of his drink in disappointment. The guy had all things working for him from looks to how he was dressed. But his breaking the ice technique just put him offside.

A good technique of how to talk to girls at bars is to start a normal conversation. Most women have their reservations about men especially men that approach them in bars.

When you start with a pickup line, she immediately knows that she’s not special and that’s how you pick up women. The paradox of picking up women at the bar is showing you want to pick her up without making it too obvious.

However, you don’t want to talk about the bad weather or too casual topics that will put you in the friend’s zone. I always find that situational cues are the best way to start a conversation with a beautiful woman. It gives both of you a chance to build a rapport with fewer emotions involved.

Furthermore, I find that creativity is crucial when you want to talk and get her interested in you in a highly competitive environment like a bar. To start a conversation, put your cold reading skills to use. You can look at how the girl is dressed and what she’s drinking to have an idea of where to start the conversation.

Use humor and banter

You’ll find it seamless how to talk to girls at bars when you know how to balance your humor and banter. Most guys that make women laugh at bars are the ones that get their numbers or even go home with them. Laughter makes a woman grow comfortable and confident around you.

You don’t have to be funny like Kevin Hart or Jim Carrey to get women. You can create stories before going to the bar and find the right timing to unleash them.

When I was starting to get good at approaching and scoring women, I created a story for each scene. I would give a drunk guy’s story when I was in a bar, and a must-read book when I was at the library. I occasionally modified the stories to fit the woman I was talking to.

A good sense of humor and banter makes it smooth to navigate emotionally intensive topics. It balances the fun and builds a strong emotional connection that will make you irresistible.

Show genuine interest

One mistake that most guys make when talking to girls at bars is making the conversation sexual too soon or pretending they are not sexually interested. It’s challenging to talk to a girl that doesn’t understand your intention.

A sleek way of how to talk to girls at bars is showing genuine interest in the girl. Most women go to the bar dressed to impress.

It’s sneaky and masterful to compliment her fashion sense rather than her looks as most guys would. Genuine interest can be displayed by noticing the unique things that set a woman aside from the crowd.

For example, asking questions is a surefire technique that will show your interest in a woman. However, the questions that you ask are crucial. The level of trust and comfort that you have will determine the type of questions that you ask.

Take these questions for example:

Where do you live? 

How old are you?

Are you married or have kids?

The woman will likely stop talking if you start asking her these questions when you’ve just met. Showing genuine interest to a woman is like peeling an onion. You expose one layer at a time.

Slide in and out.

Most guys once they start talking to a girl at a bar they want to stick with her the whole time. That’s a rookie mistake if you want the girl to be hooked on you.

A sneaky way of how to talk to girls at bars is to start and build an engaging conversation then check out the conversation when it’s still interesting. You can excuse yourself to go check on your friends or allow her to get back to her friends.

That gives her something to think about you when you are not there giving her an ear beating with your stories. Also, I like this move because it gives you a chance to get into the juicy stuff. After all, you already have a rapport and comfort. You can keep an eye on her from afar, and even start nonverbally flirting with her while she’s with her friends.

It shows confidence when you game a woman at a bar then you let her go. She’ll be curious about you which can easily inspire her to come back to feed her curiosity.

Close the deal

One of the most slippery stages when talking to girls at bars is closing the deal. Depending on how your conversation went, closing the deal might include taking her number, scheduling for a date, or taking the party somewhere else.

The best time to buy the girl and her friends some drinks is when you want to close the deal. You’ll have had a much better understanding of the group and the girl you want.

Starting conversations by offering every girl you approach a drink doesn’t always work. You’ll go bankrupt trying to impress women that are not into you.

Your success in closing the deal will be determined by how well you can read the cues from your conversation. She might be comfortable giving you her number but not going home with you.

Don’t try too hard to convince her. Communicate your desire of seeing her again and let the communication play itself out.

Final Take

The trick to how to talk to girls at bars depends on your skills to express yourself and inspire a woman to express herself. You’ll find that women at bars are easy to talk to because the environment facilitates it.

You’ll have an edge over other guys that want the girl by understanding women’s cues. Women are subtle with how they express attraction to new people. Understanding her cues will make you move in at the right time and pull back with a perfect precision that will draw her to you.

It takes practice and patience but it’s nothing impossible. You can visit to learn and master how to talk to women anywhere and also create stories that will get women hooked on your personality.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

Reach out to me today if you’d like some highly effective 1-on-1 Dating Training: CONTACT US

Iain Myles

Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.

Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.