Take a step back in a relationship
Relationships are full of surprises and you constantly have to work around them to achieve harmony and balance. Most people learn and adjust their boundaries while in a relationship.
I have a close friend that went through a nasty divorce a few years back. There was no infidelity or financial crisis, the relationship reached a point it was just exhausting from both sides. They tried to make it work but each time they’ll experience something that will make them drift further apart.
Most people don’t realize it but challenges in relationships are not always about what your partner does or doesn’t do. A relationship crisis can brew from within you and put your relationship on its knees.
Mastering relationship intelligence is critical to be able to identify and gauge the relationship needs both from an individual perspective and as a couple. You’ll take the right steps at the right time which will inspire a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
In this blog, I’ll show you how to take a step back in a relationship. The aim of this blog is to help you maintain relationship balance and increase your relationship intelligence.
When my friend was going through the divorce, he kept saying one thing “I really don’t know how we got here.” They were still in love but were in the middle of divorce anyway.
First, let’s explore signs that you need to take a step back from your relationship. Understanding the signs can give you guidance on what you need to do and address as you take a step back.
You feel like you’re giving too much or receiving too little in the relationship. Uneven scale in the efforts put to make a relationship work is a major sign that you need to hold your next step. You become susceptible to being bitter or resentful when you feel that you are not getting what you deserve in a relationship.
However, an even scale in any relationship doesn’t mean you are equals in everything. Couples supplement each other in relationships; you’ll get more where your partner’s strengths lie and you’ll give more where your strengths lie.
Your life revolves around them. Most couples credit their success and achievements to their partners, which is actually great in maintaining a healthy dependency in the relationship. However, when you feel that you can’t function or make a decision without your partner’s influence that’s terrible.
When you feel you can’t do without your partner, that feeling can drive you to have unrealistic expectations of your partner. It’s a sign that you are losing yourself in the relationship and giving your partner the responsibility of making you whole.
You make all the decisions. The decisions you make in a relationship also affect your partner. However, there are some decisions that need both partners to have an equal say so that they’ll share the responsibility of the outcome of the decision made.
Making all the decisions in a relationship can be exhausting. Sometimes you’ll feel that you are carrying the blame alone when things don’t go as planned. It might appear like it’s not a big deal but that stirs a low-key level of dissatisfaction in the relationship dating coach for men.
You get offended by little things. You can be sure that you need to take a step back in your relationship when you notice you’ve become easily irritable. Getting offended by the little things your partner does in the relationship can be a sign of underlying frustration or fatigue.
These are just some of the signs that can give you a green light on how to take a step back in a relationship. However, relationships have a unique nature and you might have unique signs in your relationship that indicate it’s time to take a step back. But one thing is common when you feel you are not happy or gratified in a relationship, take a step back and re-evaluate.
How to take a step back in a relationship?
You are not breaking up with your girlfriend when you consider taking a step back. However, withdrawal can make your girlfriend feel rejected. Approaching the situation with a masterful finesse and delicacy can give you the space you need without burning down what you want.
1. Take some time for yourself
Focusing on yourself is one of the best approaches to adopt when taking a step back from a relationship. You have a chance to think about what you really want and what you are ready to offer.
Try to hang out with your friends and engage yourself in the things you love that don’t include your girlfriend. Most relationships suffer when one partner decides to take time for themselves because the other one might feel abandoned.
When you are taking a step back from your relationship, it’s good to give your girlfriend a heads-up so that you are on the same script. She might even facilitate it by reducing how frequently she contacts you or spends time with you.
When you are by yourself, it becomes easy to understand the value of your relationship and how you’ll make it work.
2. Set new boundaries
You feel you need to take a step back because things are not how you picture they should be. Couples learn about each other as days go by. Setting new boundaries as the relationship progresses can maintain a healthy balance.
For instance, you feel that you have to make all the decisions in the relationship and it’s draining you. Setting boundaries on the types of decisions you can be involved in the making can eliminate the unsatisfactory feeling that you are experiencing.
Setting new boundaries allows your girlfriend to adjust themselves to make the relationship work in harmony. She’ll know what’s not working for you.
3. Listen to your mind
Emotions can get overwhelming and even cloud your logic. When you are in a relationship, you desire nothing but the world for the one you love. You’ll willingly put your life on the line if it means saving her.
Your feelings for your woman can be the reason you feel unhappy in the relationship. You become biased when making decisions that involve your girlfriend to make her comfortable and happy.
Listening to your mind allows you to see the actual situation you are in and the best way out. It’s not easy to set new boundaries in the relationship. But sometimes you require logical decisions to protect your emotional health.
Reflect on why you want to take a step back from your relationship. Come up with actual facts that will help you make an informed decision.
4. Take a class
It’s always fun to learn something new. It gives you a new perspective of the world. That’s why taking a class for something you love doing is a genius way of how to take a step back in a relationship.
Most people take a step back and quickly return to the status quo. That’s because when they take a step back, they leave a vacuum. What are you doing with the time that you used to spend with your girlfriend?
If you don’t have something going on for you, you’ll start missing your girlfriend. It might inspire you to make a compromise that you were not willing to return things the way they were.
Taking a class gives you something to be enthusiastic about. You’ll find that you don’t think about your relationship or girlfriend as often.
5. Let your partner step up
Guys always want to be the hero when they are in a relationship. You’ll want to impress the girl by taking up more responsibility in the relationship. As romantic as that may sound, it can be fatal to you in the long run.
I think that’s why guys complain when they break up with a girl, “After all I did for her, she was still ungrateful and left.”
Balancing the responsibilities in the relationship can help you achieve a desirable balance in the relationship. Slowly let go of some responsibilities in the relationship and let your woman step up. For example, if you were always the one initiating sex, control your sexual excitement and let her come to you.
You might feel you are giving more in the relationship because you want to do everything. Let your partner mess up or build you up with her decisions sometimes. Letting your woman step up can allow you to step back without leaving a gap.
6. Retrace your steps
Most guys in long-term relationships have asked themselves, “How did I become this person?” Losing yourself can happen even to the best of us. When you notice how deep you’ve gone, that’s when you look for the brakes.
It’s common to want to take a step back from your relationship but have no idea which direction to head. Retracing your steps to the guy you were before the relationship can be quite insightful.
You’ll remember the price you were willing to pay to be in a relationship. You’ll remember your deal breakers and things that used to give you happiness. Retracing your steps can help you take a step back in your relationship and decide what you are okay with and what you are not.
The Bottom Line
Taking a step back in your relationship can be one of the most challenging things you might have to experience. You might get hurt or hurt the woman you love in the process.
Nevertheless, it’s worth trying to change things when you feel you are running out of gas when the relationship is just getting started. The transition doesn’t always have to be messy or ugly. You can bring some fun to the relationship as you are taking a step back.
I do hope this blog has given you more clarity on how to take a step back in a relationship.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.