Approach Women, Conversation, Uncategorized

How to start a conversation with a girl

How to start a conversation with a girl

Starting a conversation with a woman can be easy. But the task comes in when you want to start a conversation that will build up to something romantic or physically cozy. Women always have their guard up which makes it challenging sometimes for guys to connect with them start a conversation with a girl.


Most men cannot overcome the emotional barrier when they start a conversation with a woman. It makes it an uphill task to maintain a balanced and progressive conversation.


You’ll be forced to take a defensive stance in a conversation when an emotional barrier still exists between you and the woman you want. That means you’ll not get a conducive platform to express your interests.


(Avoid creating emotional barriers with the women you approach. Download this free eBook: Get a Girl to Like You).

Conversation with a girl

While how to start a conversation with a girl has been an ongoing conversation for years, modern dating does not make it easy for guys. Women get approached by many guys and if your game is not checkmate, girls will friend zone and reject you.


( learn how to seduce a girl in bed: how to seduce a girl )


In this article, you’ll get to explore how to start a conversation with a girl. But it’s not just talking that we’ll be targeting but also how you can use conversation to get a woman hooked on you. You’ll also get tips on how to maneuver conversation blocks that are common in any new conversation.


The conversation is crucial to starting, building, and maintaining a relationship. But how do you approach a person you don’t know much about and convince her that you are a good person and you might be their potential boyfriend? Let’s look at some of the sneaky ways to start a conversation with a girl:


1.    Jump into the fire


How you start a conversation with a woman is crucial because it determines the mood and path the conversation will take. However, sometimes planning what we want to say to a woman we like is not a smart move.


Self-debate of what you’ll tell the woman can introduce unnecessary doubt. The doubt might make you anxious about your abilities which can end up triggering approach anxiety.


The more time you take debating in your head how to do it, the more reasons you’ll have not to do it. One way of starting a conversation with a girl you want is starting it. Sometimes you learn on the job and become good at it.


(Confidence plays a crucial role in eliminating self-doubt. Check out this free eBook for some valuable advice: Confidence Pillars).


For example, you meet a woman in the café and you want to talk to her:


You: Hi, I was debating whether to talk to you, and the winning side of the debate was I talk to you. (You’ll have started a conversation by stating your intention. The woman has an idea or will be curious about the interest you have because you noticed them and held a general meeting to approach her.)


You gain so much flexibility when you randomly start a conversation. When you think about how you’ll talk to a girl, subconsciously you start creating a script. It makes you susceptible to running out of things to say when the girl changes the script.


The truth is you’ll not know what the woman wants until you talk to her. Nevertheless, overthinking underestimates our abilities to start a conversation with a woman. That can push you to assume a persona you think the woman will accept as the best dating coach for men.



It’s always challenging to maintain an act. The woman will doubt your intentions immediately she notices the personality you are displaying is not what really exists. She might self-preserve by detaching emotionally from the conversation and you.


Understanding how to use your environment as props to start a conversation with women can be a major boost if you want to use this technique. You’ll understand how to pick topics that you and the woman can relate to without thinking much.


(Signs an older woman wants to sleep with you? Check this out: older woman wants to sleep with you).


2.    Build the right body language


One of the reasons that the male to female interaction is quite challenging is because of mistrust. Most women distrust men that approach them until the guy qualifies himself. However, no matter how smooth you are with words, if your body language is off, you’ll not get the woman you want.


Building the right body language can foster the growth of trust between you and the woman. The advantage of using body language to start a conversation is you get to range a woman’s interest in you before you draw in.


(Read this blog for some general advice on how to get her attracted to you: How to get a girl to like you).


Body language can display some of the attractive qualities that women desire in men such as confidence. A woman can be attracted by your confidence which will make a vocal conversation easy to start when you approach her.


Imagine talking with someone that’s fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or has a shaky voice and they are telling you how interested they are in you. You’ll be nervous around the person and all you’ll think about is getting out of the situation.


The same effect can be experienced when you are giving a woman positive vibes. She’ll want to stay longer with you which gives you time to finish your game.


Here are tips to start a conversation using body language:


▪   Maintain eye contact and smile to show interest or approval..


▪   Waving and smiling at the girl across the room can be a good icebreaker.


3.    Ask for help


It’s not that guys don’t know how to approach and have a conversation with a girl, but most men struggle with what to tell the girl. Choosing the right topic for an icebreaker is never easy if you want to hit a home run with the first try.


Asking for help is one of the sneaky ways to get a woman’s attention and start a conversation. It also silently introduces a topic that you can engage with each other for a while then bridge it towards your intention.


(Conversing well with women is determined by how well you can flirt. You need to read this: How do you flirt with a girl).


Furthermore, it’s rare for people to turn down an opportunity to help if they can. The emotional effect that asking for help triggers makes it one of the sleek and most flawless techniques to start a conversation with women. People generally like it when they help others because it highlights the good in them.



When a woman is trying to help you, for a moment her guard will be down. That gives you a perfect window to notice something personal that can be used to build the conversation. However, your body language is very important when you are asking for help.


Having confident body language can help you seem genuine in your dilemma. When a woman believes your need for her help is genuine, it will trigger and start building trust. That will make her comfortable transitioning in some topics that will favor your intentions.


4.    Find shared experiences or feelings about something


Shared experiences or feelings about something can be a great way to start a conversation with a girl. Women put their emotional guards up when they know they are talking to a new guy. However, when you have a shared experience or feeling towards the same thing it creates the illusion of familiarity.


However, to hit a home run with this technique is important to understand the emotion that you’ll trigger by highlighting the shared aspect. The next step is understanding how to connect with that emotion to create an emotional bond.


(In order to create a solid emotional bond you need to seduce her. Read this article: How to Seduce a Woman).


Emotional bonds inspire comfort and trust in women. That can make a woman more receptive even with her body language to have a conversation. You’ll find it easy to start a conversation with a girl when she already wants to talk to you.


For example, you meet a woman in the club


You: Hey


Her: Hey


You: I could have asked you to dance but the DJ will not do you justice. (You noticed that she’s bored with the music. And you are becoming her escape.)


Finding a shared experience that you can pose as a problem solver is the best way to start a conversation. It will be hard for the woman to detach you from the experience. That will guarantee that you have her attention for a while.


5.   Give a compliment


Another sneaky way of starting a conversation with a girl is by complimenting her. However, most guys fail to start a conversation with a girl when they use this technique because they focus on what everyone can see.


Some women are insecure about their physical attributes that might impress you as a guy. Physical compliments are tricky because you don’t know how a woman feels about them.


(Want to know how to make her your girlfriend? You NEED to check this out: How to get a girlfriend).


The best way to approach this technique is by building a keen interest in the woman. Take your time to notice something unique about the woman that not many people would see. For example,


You: Hi, I love your fashion sense.


Her: Oh! Thank you.


You: Is that Patek Philippe you have on? Sorry, I have a huge interest in watches. (You have started a conversation and also pointed out common interests.)


Women love to be recognized for what they have put in the work to accomplish. Attaching your compliments to what a woman might want to be noticed for can build a good rapport and start a progressive conversation.


6.    Wait for the right time


Most guys try to start a conversation with a girl even when the environment does not favor a conversation. Timing is crucial when it comes to how to start a conversation with a girl. Wrong timing can make you look like a creep even with the right approach.


When you see a woman you want to talk to, the best time to start a conversation with her is when she’s isolated. When you approach a woman and try to start a conversation with her while she’s having company, you’ll likely face rejection.



You can also create the perfect timing for yourself when you see a woman is not leaving her pack. Social proofing is a sneaky technique that helps you gain a woman’s trust by capturing the trust of people around her. The woman will feel comfortable talking to you, she might start the conversation.




It’s important to build your conversation skills as you learn how to start a conversation with a girl. It will help you maneuver conversation challenges that you’ll experience during the conversation you’ve started.


(Learn the secrets to entice a woman’s mind and capture her heart: Conversation Secrets).


How to start a conversation with a girl is as important as mastering what to say after you’ve started the conversation. Breaking the ice with a killer starter is always the best way to start a conversation because it starts the conversation on a high note. The momentum the conversation starts with will keep it going.


It’s also important to try and be comfortable around women. Most guys find it challenging to start a conversation with a girl because they feel anxious around women. Building your confidence around women will get you a step closer to naturally starting a conversation with women.


Emre Ilkme

Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.


He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.