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How to start a conversation with a girl on tinder

How to start a conversation with a girl on tinder

Online dating apps expose you to thousands of potential dates just a click away. However, as fascinating as that may sound, it also increases competition. It’s the squid game; everyone has their eye on the price.

Conversation with a girl

Your preference will be your burden. If you have a popular preference for women, you’ll face a tougher challenge. Most guys desire to have the most beautiful woman in the room start a conversation with a girl.

To conquer the online dating world, you have to be creative, sleek, and tactful. You’ll not get a beautiful girl excited to reply to a text “Hey, beautiful.” She’ll probably see you as a creep and block you.

The first impression that you create when you send your first text determines your fate with the girl. It’s challenging to change a person’s opinion of you once they’ve formed it.

Mastering the art of conversation gives you superpowers in the online dating coach for men world. You’ll know how to build connections and inspire emotions with your words.

In this blog, you’ll explore different techniques of how to start a conversation with a girl on tinder. You’ll know which conversation starters build a positive first impression and those that work against you.

1.      Use in-app features

How to start a conversation with a girl on tinder is easy if you know how to use the in-app features. The features make it easy for you to connect with a girl you just met. The features may include social media handles or favorite playlists from apps like Spotify or Apple Music.

(A great article on how to make friends with the opposite sex: How to make female friends).

Researching what a girl is into is the easiest way to start a conversation with her. Most guys think it’s creepy and you’ll look like you were stalking her. Well, that will depend on what you say.

But the other side of the coin is a girl will be impressed with the interest you have taken in her. She’ll be curious to engage you and that’s how you build an interesting conversation that will make her think of you when you don’t text.

2.      Keep it short and sweet

Customizing your first text to display interest is genius. However, most guys are guilty of sending long messages when they do it.

Keeping your first text short and captivating can work better than sending a lengthy message that will inspire deep emotions. First, most people don’t have the patience to read long texts from strangers. Second, a woman might get cold feet when you start the conversation by confessing your undying love for her.

(A great article on How to tell if she is avoiding you: How to tell if a girl is avoiding you).

Short messages can trigger curiosity and interest in a person. Send a text that’s personal but doesn’t take more than 10 seconds to read.

3.      Ask a question

Asking a question is a sneaky way of how to start a conversation with a girl on tinder. However, the trick is usually getting the right question that will prompt the woman to respond. Asking a cheesy or obvious question will make it look like a desperate attempt to start a conversation.

Don’t ask a girl “What’s your favorite color?” It will not trigger an emotion that can inspire the girl to respond.

When you ask a girl something she has a strong opinion in or is passionate about, it will trigger an excitement that will make her respond. However, if you don’t have any clue about the girl, you can ask a basic question that can inspire a little controversy.

(Learn how to draw in her attention and interest: How to get a womans attention).

She will want to share her perspective, and that will give you a chance to build an interesting conversation.

4.      Display your sense of humor

Nothing gets a woman’s guard down like a good laugh she didn’t expect. The use of humor can be a good technique if you are looking to start a conversation on tinder.

Starting with humor gives you a classy edge that will make a woman curious about you. She’ll immediately associate you with fun which can make her a bit flexible with her boundaries. You’ll have an easier time chatting with her when she’s not super cautious when talking to you.

The good thing about mastering humor is people never really know when you are serious and when you are joking. You always have a getaway free card in case something doesn’t favor you.

5.      Start with a compliment

Compliments are a good way to build a rapport with someone new. It shows what you appreciate in them and that will inspire them to see what they appreciate about you.

After you’ve done your research on the girl and you found something she’s good at or poses a very strong interest in, that’s where the compliment should be centered.

(Perhaps you could try online dating: How to get more matches on tinder).

Most people have a strong emotional attachment with their hobbies or interests. Centering your compliment around them can trigger these feelings and that of gratitude that you saw more than a pretty face:

  • I enjoyed looking at your paintings. You are an excellent artist. 
  • I saw your story. Your gaming skills are out of this planet!
  • Your playlist needs to have a billboard of its own. 

6.      Find shared interest

Another good spot to start a conversation from on tinder is shared interest. People are attracted to people that are familiar.

You’d say you don’t feel a person’s vibe because they are unfamiliar to you. The same reason a woman will use to respond or ignore your text.

Starting a conversation by highlighting what you have in common gives you something to bond over. It inspires the girl to feel comfortable sharing her side with you which can give you more information about her to keep the conversation flowing.

(Another incredible article for you to read: How to get girls to like you).

Common mistakes in conversation starters

Now that you know how to start a conversation with a girl on tinder, let dive and look at conversation mistakes that most guys are guilty of when starting a chat on tinder:

Physical compliments

Women are attracted to guys that make them feel special. However, sometimes guys stretch their luck with it.

Starting a conversation on tinder with physical compliments shows your interest only lies in how the woman looks. You don’t have much to go on with but physical compliments can make a woman feel you are only after the cookie.

Physical compliments are risky because you don’t know how the woman feels about her physical attributes. Women are very conscious of their bodies and your compliment might be a trigger of insecurity.

Showing too much excitement

We need to get one thing straight, guys. When you put a woman on a pedestal, she’ll not give you the attention and interest you desire to score her.

A common mistake that guys make on how to start a conversation with a girl on tinder is showing too much excitement. There’s a thin line between showing interest and showing excitement and some guys are guilty of this all the time.

For example:

You: Wow, I can’t believe that you and I are a match. Oh my god, you are drop-dead gorgeous! (The woman will feel like you are a loser, and she’ll ignore you for a guy that understands their worth.)


Overconfidence is another aspect that works against guys when they start talking with a girl on tinder. Confidence is an attractive quality for a guy to possess. Nevertheless, overconfidence makes you look like a jerk when you approach a girl.

(Another incredible article for you to read: What to do when your girlfriend ignores you).

Overconfidence gives you a false analysis of the situation. It’s likely to make you miss subtle aspects that would have assisted you to score the girl. When you feel that the woman can’t say no to you, that’s when you set up yourself for perennial disappointment.

Cliché pickup lines

Starting a conversation with a cliché pick-up line makes you look lazy and uninterested. Well, you might only be interested in one thing and she’s not going to give it if you don’t show genuine interest.

You don’t want to send a text that she’s probably received from 20 other guys. You’ll be left with a red message without response or threats of being sued.

Being sexual

I once told my student that they can’t be sexual from jump even if they’ve found a match on hookup sites. He asked me then why is the woman there?

Women desire to be handled delicately. You’ll look like a horny freak if you approach her with too much sexual energy.

(A great article on How to tell if she is avoiding you: How to tell if a girl is avoiding you).

However, that’s not to say that you hide your intentions. Try to make the first encounter friendly rather than topics of the private parts.

Final Take

Women always assess the risks when they are approached by a guy. The impression you create with your first text determines the path the conversation will take. You’ll have better chances of engaging a girl on tinder if your first text shows genuine interest.

Keep an open mind when you start a conversation with a girl. Even if you are a match, she might respond or ignore your text. The best way to handle it is to respect her personal space and approach other women that you potentially like.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

Reach out to me today if you’d like some highly effective 1-on-1 Dating Training: CONTACT US

Iain Myles

Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.

Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.