Breakups can take many different forms depending on the nature of the relationship you had and how the relationship ended. In some cases, it’s a no-brainer what to do when your ex reaches out and tells you that they miss you.
How to respond to an ex who says they miss you can be challenging especially if you were not over your ex but you are not sure if you want the relationship again.
In this blog, I’m going to show you how to respond to an ex who says they miss you. The blog is structured to help you understand what you need to put into consideration before responding to your ex.
One thing that I would like to highlight is that when a woman breaks up with you, it doesn’t mean that she has it easy on her side. On the contrary, she might be having a horrible time dealing with the breakup that they initiated contact with.
Let’s explore ways of how to respond to an ex who says they miss you that will put you in the safe zone and get you to want you yearning for:
1. Consider what you want
It can be exciting or infuriating when your ex reaches out and tells you that they miss you. Your emotional space will be your guide on how you respond. You might be trying to heal and move on from your ex, and responding to her can strive for a conversation that can trigger old wounds.
How to respond to an ex who says they miss you
Considering what you want after responding is a sleek way of figuring out how to respond to an ex who says they miss you. You’ll know how to engage her based on what you want.
For instance, if you are desire is to get back with her, you’ll structure your response in a way that will eventually bring the spark back.
You also have to consider if you can emotionally handle interacting with your ex. The emotions you have towards your ex whether conscious or subconscious can make you vulnerable. You’ll be easily triggered during conversations with your ex.
2. Reexamine the reasons for the breakup
Relationships have a unique way of ending. However, when you still have hope of going back to each other, you’ll not burn all the bridges during a breakup. However, that does not make reliving a breakup a smooth experience because it reopens undesirable emotions.
Reexamining the reasons for the breakup is a foolproof guide that can inspire how you respond to your ex. The emotional connection that you once shared can influence you to feel sorry for your ex and engage her even when you didn’t want to.
For instance, if you broke up with your ex because she constantly cheated on you, them telling you that they miss you can inspire you to think about the good times you had. You’ll end up feeling bad for her because of all the fun you had together and now she’s low.
Reexamining the breakup and what instigated it can save you the emotional manipulation that could potentially be triggered with ‘I miss you’ from an ex.
3. Understand their intention
Another sleek way of determining how to respond to an ex who says they miss you is understanding their intentions. Does she miss your brains? Or sex life? Or giving you migraines?
Understanding a woman’s intention will ensure a safe landing for you when you respond to her. A woman can text you that they miss you without the intention of getting back to you. If you let your excitement get the better of you, you might end up bitter with her than ever before.
For example:
Case A
Her: I miss you, Jerry.
You: Oh, nice. What do you miss about me?
Her: I just miss everything about you and us.
Case B
Her: I miss you, Jerry.
You: I miss you too. I was just thinking about you the other day. We should definitely hook up.
Her: That’s not what I meant.
You put yourself in a position of power when you first understand a woman’s intention. You can change the subject after your ex tells you that they miss you until you have a clear idea of their motive. You might find out that she was just bored and wanted to talk to someone that knows her.
4. How did they contact you?
Another way of determining how to respond to an ex who says they miss you is by considering how they reach out and relayed their message. The breakup might have been messy, but how the woman has approached you might make you consider what she is saying.
You can know how genuine your ex is with how she contacts you. Trust in most relationships takes a significant hit and rebuilding it is important if you want your words to hold value.
How to respond to an ex who says they miss you
An ex that misses you, will engage you in a way that doesn’t slap you in the face with dirty linen. If she genuinely misses you, she’ll be willing to take responsibility for her side that inspired the breakup. She’ll not drop the ‘I miss you’ bombshell without trying to streamline anything that might be an obstacle.
5. Take your time
You don’t have to answer your ex immediately when they say they miss you. I have already shown you how emotionally manipulating that simple statement can be. Your response can be triggered by pity, anger, loneliness, or heartbreak which can be easily misleading.
Taking your time before you respond will allow the emotional dust to calm. You’ll be clear about what you want to say and the lines you’ll not cross just because she hasn’t been able to deal with the breakup.
Furthermore, the dating coach for men is like playing tango and chess. You tag your partner along to get the upper hand. Taking your time will communicate your emotional stability. You’ll look a bit desperate when you text right after she has sent the text or call.
6. Display confidence
I asked women what would motivate them to tell their exes that they miss them. Some women said to see how the ex was dealing with the breakup. It might sound a bit evil but when you are healing from a painful breakup sometimes you wish your ex was also hurting like you.
When you are responding to an ex that says they miss you, displaying confidence is crucial. You might give your ex power when your response displays desperation.
For example: if you don’t want your ex back
Her: I miss you so much.
You: I miss the good times sometimes, but we have moved on and the memory trip will not be healthy now.
A response that shows respect and composure can display a high level of confidence. It’s more crucial to display confidence when responding to an ex that you want back.
Her: Our memories have flooded my mind the whole day. I miss you.
You: I miss you too. The break has given us time to reflect on a lot of things. (You sound confident and you’ll also trigger her curiosity. She’ll want to know what you’ve reflected on and that will give you the power to highlight things you want to be changed before getting back together.)
Final Take
A breakup can inspire a healthy and loving relationship after you get back together. After feelings settle sometimes you recognize the flaws in your decisions. It’s good to balance a sense of selfishness and grace when responding to your ex who says they miss you.
Your ex might build upon the response that you’ve given her. Understand the role that your ex will play in your life and that will inspire you to give a response that you’ll be content with.
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Iain Myles
Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.
