James spent a very successful Tuesday morning at the library. He wasn’t doing research, he was meeting girls. At lunchtime he called it quits with five new numbers saved to his phone.
By Thursday morning, he had four dates lined up for the next week. Although getting a phone number doesn’t always mean getting a date, James’s Kama Lifestyles dating coach showed him how to phone a girl and get results:
Have a choice of women to phone. This way, you don’t rest your hopes on one woman and phoning one is less of a big deal if you know you’re going to be phoning a few others straight after.
Expect it not to work with the girl you’re phoning. This takes some stress out of the situation and stops you from sounding needy.
Don’t ask her out. Tell her you’re doing something and she’s welcome to come along. Don’t start off with an invitation – it looks like you’re trying to bribe her to spend time with you and you’ll look weak.
Create a script. If you feel nervous about how to phone a girl or running out of things to talk about, make a few notes beforehand. Don’t read her a story. Instead, keep the momentum of your first meeting going by referring back to things you were talking about.
Don’t talk about things that will drain her energy, like work or school. You want her to associate you with fun, not with drudgery.
Introduce sexual innuendos and flirting. When you approached her, you immediately started working on creating attraction. How to phone a girl relies on innuendos and flirting. It will remind her of why she liked you in the first place and set you apart from others she’s met.
(Here’s another incredibly useful blog article I’d recommend you read: Relationship advice for men).
Text before you call. If she’s really interested, she’ll answer your text. It eliminates the possibility of calling at an awkward time or her ignoring your call because she doesn’t know the number you’re calling from. Don’t forget to sign your text – being funny and charming doesn’t help if she doesn’t know who she’s speaking to. Even better, make sure your number’s in her phone.
Contact her within 24 hours. If you want to initiate contact with a text, it can be done on the same day or night you met her. It’s a handy way to make her used to talking to you.
If you do text, match her response time and then vary yours. If she takes 10 minutes to answer, take 10 to 20 to reply. If you’re chatting every few minutes, don’t answer her for a few hours. She’ll soon realise how attracted she is to you.
Don’t interview her. An important part of how to phone a girl is not asking a list of questions. This will make her feel like she’s applying for a job and she won’t feel like she’s getting to know you. Making statements about yourself also seems less needy since you’re not waiting for a response.
(I’d advise you to work on your confidence to be able to stand up to your partner: Confidence Pillars).
If she doesn’t answer, wait a day or two before calling again. It could be that you called at a bad time. Calling, again and again, will make you seem like a needy, creepy stalker, so resist the temptation.
James used his knowledge about how to phone a girl to secure four dates. He started texting each girl on the day they met to stay fresh in their memories and to build up a rapport.
When he did call, he told them that he’s having drinks with some friends and told them to come along. The Kama Lifestyles coach’s advice on how to phone a girl meant that James wasn’t anxious or desperate when he called, allowing him to get results.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.