Blog, Featured, Relationships

How to know if a girl is using you

It’s challenging to be objective sometimes when you are in love. When you are dating a gorgeous girl that you only fantasized about, you don’t believe that anything could go wrong. You get clouded by your feelings and desires.

It’s crucial to know if a girl is using you because of the emotional and mental impact that it can have on you.

People are selfish and some are driven into relationships out of pure self-interest.

It can be challenging for most people to figure out that the person they love is using them. Girls that take advantage of men can be very cunning and calculating. They’ll strive to understand you to build their influence over you and get what they want.

But not from today! In this blog, you’ll explore the subtle art of how to know if a girl is using you.

By the end of the blog, you’ll be familiar with the signs to look out for, the cunning techniques girls use, and how to stop a girl from using you.

Why would a girl use you?

To understand the signs that will shed light on a woman that’s using you, we have to explore why girls might do this. Most guys think that girls can only use them financially.

In this section, you’ll see different reasons why girls use men which will help you understand ways in which men can be used in relationships.

  • They want an ATM machine. It’s a common reason for most girls that want to leave the high-end life and they don’t have the financial muscles.
  • Someone to quench their sexual desires. It’s common for girls to use men for sex. While most guys wouldn’t see it that way, when you are in the dark, you’ll invest in the relationship based on false expectations which might destabilize you emotionally.
  • They are baiting someone else. A girl can date you to get access to a guy that’s close to you. It can also play out differently and date you because she wants to make another guy jealous.
  • She desires to be the focal point of someone’s attention. A girl can date you to feed her attention monster. She feels on top of the world when the limelight is on her.
  • She wants a poster boy. A girl can start dating a guy because everyone around her expects her to be dating. She’ll act like a girlfriend, but she’ll be emotionally absent.

Signs a girl is using you

Girls are very subtle with their techniques when they are using you. Most of the time they’ll want you to believe what you are doing is because you want to. On such a slippery slope, a guiding hand might be golden.

(Learn how to crack the texting code: How to ask a girl out over text).

Here are signs that will help in the quest how to know if a girl is using you:

1.    She is always right.

The first sure-fire sign of how to know if a girl is using you is if she’s always right. A girl that’s always right is in the relationship to only get her needs met.

Healthy and progressive relationships are built for the mutual benefit of the couple. A woman that loves you, will be afraid to lose you. She’ll be willing to hear what you have to say to know where the root of the problem is.

However, when a girl always argues to be right, that’s not someone with your interest at heart. She might emotionally or sexually punish you when you disagree with her and maintain your stand. Silent treatment and crying can be emotional manipulation tools.

2.    She has expensive taste

It’s every guy’s desire to pamper and treat the girls they love like gems. But what happens when your sweetness is taken as a weakness?

A fool-proof sign that a girl is using you is if you notice she only has expensive taste when she’s with you. She brings out the royalty in her but makes you finance for it.

(Running out of things to say is a huge issue nowadays. This will help: How to keep a conversation going with a girl).

A girl can ask you to buy her something and she’s genuinely not trying to use you. But a girl that’s using you will try to guilt-trip you or emotionally manipulate you into doing things for her. She’ll not care about your financial status as long as she’s getting pampered.

A girl that likes you will try to save money with you because she is hoping for a stable tomorrow for both of you. On the other hand, a girl using you will want to gain as much as possible without any regard for the financial implications it will have.

3.    She’s missing when you need her.

It’s common for people in love to give excuses for their partner’s undesirable behaviors. However, there are red flags that can show you if you are being used such as your girlfriend’s emotional and physical availability.

The emotional attachment that couples create when there’s genuine love encourages them to sometimes put the needs of the partner first. But a girl that’s using you does not have a compelling emotional attachment to you. Your emotional frustration will not move her if it’s not serving her interest.

When your girl always has an excuse to flake on your plans or is always busy, that’s a sign that the girl is using you. She’ll not be motivated to make a sacrifice or compromise for you.

4.    She avoids commitment

When a person is using you, they’ll hesitate to build a future with you because they don’t see any long-term outcome. The same happens when a woman is using you!

It’s a red flag when a girl avoids commitments that would rather make the relationship stable. Most girls desire stability when they meet a man which prompts them to ask personal questions. A girl that knows she’s only there for what she gains will avoid deep conversations that can reveal her intentions.

(How to tell if a woman is sexually attracted to you? Approach her and find out: How to approach a girl).

For example, a girl taking you to meet her friends is a commitment that shows she wants you to be part of her life holistically.

But if you find you don’t know much about the girl, there is nothing that defines the type of relationship you have, but you are playing the full boyfriend role, then you are being taken for a ride.

5.    She doesn’t know the important things about you.

Another fool-proof sign of how to know if a girl is using you is when she doesn’t know you as a girlfriend should. A girl that’s attracted to you will likely develop interest and curiosity about you. She’ll want to find everything she can about you.

She’ll want to know more because she’s also investing in the relationship and she wants a little assurance. But a girl that uses you doesn’t have any interest in you. She’ll forget your important events because the focus is on her in the relationship.

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You’ll determine if a girl is using you by considering the level of your relationship and matching it with what you both know about each other.

6.    She’s always apologizing for the same thing.

I’ve already told you, if a girl likes you, she’ll be afraid to lose you. She’ll not repeat the same mistakes that hurt you deeply or had the potential to end the relationship.

Nevertheless, a girl that’s using you is most likely not to have the emotional consideration you have towards her. She’ll not be afraid to do what she wants even if she’s conscious that it will hurt you or has the potential to end the relationship.

Raise a red flag when you notice a girl hurting you frequently and using an apology as a bandage to make all her actions forgiven.

How to stop a girl that’s using you?

  • Create boundaries in the relationship. It helps you get what you want and protect yourself from what you consider undesirable. Creating boundaries can make a girl that is using you flee because she’ll not benefit as she anticipated.
  • Grow your confidence and worth in the relationship. It will help you to know where you are making a compromise and when you are being manipulated to do something. It will make it challenging for the girl to manipulate you.
  • Become assertive with your decisions. A girl that is using you will not want to hear a NO when she wants something. When you are assertive with your decisions, it discourages the girl from trying to convince you otherwise.
  • Walk away from the relationship. Walking away from a relationship that you were being taken advantage of can sometimes be the best solution.

Final Take

How to know if a girl is using you can be easy to determine if you and people around you share the same feeling. Detaching yourself from the relationship and being objective with it can give you clear insights into your position in the relationship.

If you are looking to build your dating skills to avoid attracting girls that use you, visit kamalifestyles.com. You’ll find a wide range of products, dating videos, and eBooks that can help you develop the skills that you desire or improve your dating game.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

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Emre Ilkme

Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.

He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.