Most guys become susceptible to being called creeps or losers when they try to hit on a beautiful girl. Mastering the art of hitting on women doesn’t mean that you want to be a serial dater. Opportunities sometimes pop up when you least expect them.
Learning the art of hitting up on women will give you an advantage when you meet a woman you desire. Although most guys fail to hit up on girls they desire, it’s not a complicated art to master when you know what you are doing.
In this blog, we’ll answer most of the questions you have about how to hit up a girl.
We’ll surf through different styles you can successfully use to hit on women.
You’ll also be in a better position after reading the blog to assess the interest of the girl you’ve approached.
Use nonverbal cues to build rapport.
It’s creepy when you just pop out of nowhere and try to hit on a girl. First, she’ll be more confused about how you got there than what you are trying to say. Second, she’ll start thinking of how to escape the awkward situation.
You need finesse and delicacy when you want to hit on a girl. The first step is to make yourself visible to the girl. Body language and non-verbal cues are a great way to initiate an interaction with a new girl.
(Here’s an example of a great article on getting her attention: how to get a girls attention).
Steal glances her way until she knows that you are there. When she looks at you, compose yourself and maintain eye contact for a while. Break eye contact with a smile, it adds sauce to your game.
A woman will be approachable when she feels that you are friendly and genuine. Displaying nonverbal cues that will make her comfortable will make it easy for you to approach the girl and get an audience with her.
Ditch the pickup lines.
Using a movie line to pick up a girl can be sneaky and creative if you know the girl is into the movie. You already have an inside joke, that’s awesome!
But what’s not awesome is copy-pasting a pickup line and hoping it will get a girl hooked. They might seem great to whoever is advising you, but women shy away from guys that use pickup lines to get their attention.
(The following article will give you a better idea on how to engage a girl you like: How to compliment a girl).
Pickup lines build a negative first impression on a guy. The secret when hitting on a girl is making her feel special. Pickup lines look like a playboy’s tool to get girls.
It’s challenging sometimes to build up on pickup lines. You’ll lose the girl you want as you try to patch things up to keep the conversation rolling.
It’s not life or death.
Approaching and hitting on women is supposed to be fun. You are likely to be turned down as you are to be accepted with a hot girl. It’s a game of chance but you use your skills and mastery to better your odds.
When you make it your sole mission to find a girl you can hit on, chances are at some point you’ll start operating from desperation. You’ll have set the expectations for yourself too rigid, and you’ll do anything not to feel like you’ve failed.
Take hitting on women as a game even if you feel emotionally invested in the girl. At the end of the day, if a girl is not interested, there’s nothing much you can do.
Start the conversation from a neutral point.
It makes you look predatory when you approach a girl and start showering her with compliments. She lives with herself, so most of the things you are telling her she probably knows. She knows her 6-inch heels make her look like a runway model.
Starting a conversation by praising the woman makes your intentions questionable. It also sends a subtle message that you are motivated by lust.
The true art of hitting on a woman is building her anticipation to want you to ask her out. “Hey, how is your evening going?” is a much better opener on a woman you want to hit on than “Hey, you look so gorgeous. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
The best way to start a conversation with a woman is to highlight what you have in common. Use your environment as a prop to help you start an engaging conversation. You can be controversial with your opener depending on how bold your personality is.
The quick connection technique
You have a few minutes to qualify yourself when you are trying to hit on a girl. Beautiful girls get approached a lot and they won’t give you that much time to wow them. The quick connection technique is the best way to build up your approach and get the girl’s attention.
First, find something unique about her that she could use to define herself with pride. It can be her style, eloquence, or skill.
(I’d strongly recommend reading this article to sharpen your flirting skills: How do you flirt with a girl).
The next thing is to find something that can make her curious about you. You can deliver it as a short story that will trigger her curiosity and make her want to engage you more.
Now, the quick connection technique works by highlighting something special about the girl and you that will show similarity in your personalities and insinuate a perfect match. You’ll make the girl feel comfortable interacting with you and also curious.
Floss with your flirting skills.
You can get all the initial stages of how to hit up a girl right and still find yourself in the friend’s zone. Remember, it’s crucial for a girl to know your intention when you are hitting on her. Flirting is a sleek way of showing your intentions while making the girl feel special.
How and when you decide to bring your flirting arsenal is important if you want to make a memorable impression. Sexual flirting techniques can disqualify you if you’ve not built the comfort and trust to freely communicate on that level.
(Learn how to seduce properly by reading this amazing blog article: How to Seduce a Woman).
You can play it safe by starting with nonverbal flirting techniques. The right coordination of nonverbal cues can trigger a woman’s imagination and take her to the fantasy land where you rule. For example, body posture, eye contact, and a little kino escalation will take the message home loud and clear.
Spark a little sexual tension.
Building sexual tension is the icing on the cake if you are trying to figure out how to hit up a girl. When you are the only one chasing, it can get frustrating really fast. However, building sexual tension compels the girl to also chase.
The trick to building sexual tension is when you already have the girl’s trust and she feels comfortable around you. When you start too early, the girl might find it creepy and withdraw.
Building sexual tension towards the end of your interaction is sleek because you already have an idea of the woman you’re interacting with. Some women are reserved and bring up sexually related topics might be the genesis of you losing them.
Studying the girl’s speech pattern allows you to introduce sexual-related topics in a way that won’t spark a lot of resistance. Copying the girl’s speech pattern makes you still sound familiar even when you are exploring uncharted territories.
Hint on going out with her.
After interacting with a girl you desire, you pick up one or two things that excite her. You can use her hobbies or interests as bait to gauge her interest before you ask her out and get her number in the process.
Testing if the girl is hooked on you is crucial. You can have her number to reduce space on your phone contacts. If she isn’t hooked on you by the time you part ways, she won’t text you back or pick up your calls.
(Another incredibly useful article to ensure you get her hooked: How to get a girl to like you).
Vaguely suggest an activity that she might be interested in and hint that you would like her to be there. If she’s enthusiastic about going with you, then you got her where you want. You have the perfect opportunity to ask for her number and schedule the date.
Exit the building.
Most guys try to stretch the good times when they feel a girl is engaging them. That’s a risky slope because you might run out of things to say. The girl might also feel trapped in the conversation which is a feeling that kills attraction.
The aroma of good food can make you crave the food. But when you are exposed to it for long, the craving also fades slowly.
Mastering when to exit a conversation with a girl you are hitting on is a crucial skill to have. Exiting the conversation at the right time will make the woman crave for more. You’ll walk away but you’ll still be active in her mind.
The more time she spends thinking about your conversation or fantasizing about your next meet, the stronger she’ll crave for you.
Know how to take rejection.
Well, learning how to be successful is not complete if you don’t also learn the other side of the coin. Rejection can feel like someone has put a stick through your heart or in this case your ego.
Mastering how to gracefully exit a situation after a rejection can build your confidence in the long run. You’ll not be afraid to hit on girls because they might reject you.
(If I were you I’d definitely check out this FREE eBook to help you deal with rejection: Confidence Pillars).
Also how you take rejection speaks more about your character to the girl. She might feel bad that she blew you off without a proper audience and come to make up for it. Jackpot!! You now have the advantage as she’ll try to be more accommodating than she would have before.
You have the arsenal you need to hit on a girl successfully. Confidence is a good touch when you are hitting on a girl. It makes you an interesting person to interact with.
Girls also check out guys, and hitting on a girl is not challenging when you structure your approach technique well. When you do it, aim to have fun!
I do hope this blog article has given you some valuable insight on how to hit up a girl.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.