Some of the best romantic relationships take place after a breakup. Couples get to appreciate the value their partner adds to their lives and also give you a clearer insight into which roles your partner plays in your life.
However, the realization doesn’t always happen simultaneously in both partners and it can be challenging to convince a woman that feels she got an unfair bargain the first time that things are different.
A couple of years ago, I was approached by a guy that had broken up with his fiancé on the eve of their wedding. The guy had tried almost everything humanly possible to get his ex-girlfriend back but all in vain. So, I wanted to understand the approach that he had used to try and get his ex-girlfriend back.
The girl had restricted all communications with him. He thought the best option was to go wait for her in the lobby at her workplace. The ex-girlfriend saw him and immediately called security and later went to get a restraining order against him.
One of the most crucial factors when considering getting back your ex is how you reintroduce yourself in her life. The approach you adopt can be the difference between a winning move and a restraining order.
In this blog, I share with you a guide on how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible. I’ll not explore simple techniques that will get your ex-girlfriend who you broke up with because she caught you flirting with other women or gaslighting.
The impossible situations referred to in this blog include things that break up couples permanently like a series of cheating cases. Your ex-girlfriend dating someone that displays a personality very different from yours can also be an impossible situation. The blog is designed to help you get back your ex under scenarios that feel like you’ve lost her forever (dating coach for men).
1. Redefine yourself
The beauty of being a human being is our ability and flexibility to adapt to new ways of thinking and routines. Redefining yourself is one of the crucial steps to take when you are trying to figure out how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible.
When you approach your ex, she’ll be extra cautious because she knows the devil she’s dealing with. You’ll face more resistance from her than Barry who she just met at the bar.
However, when you redefine yourself, she’ll feel like she’s interacting with a new person. That can make her give you a new slate during the interaction that she would give a guy she just met.
Most people understand the will and determination it takes for a person to reinvent themselves to admirable versions of themselves. It’s an attractive aspect when you look at it closely that can entice a woman to give you a new form of attention.
People usually find it very challenging to reinvent themselves because they don’t know where to start. Furthermore, it feels safe and comfortable staying with what you deem familiar.
But if you have the need for change, it’s an easy journey to start. Most people have fantasies of ‘if I can become this person or do this, I can get anything I want.’ That’s where you start drawing your map to reinvent yourself.
2. Initiate accidental contact
When you feel you are in an impossible position to get your ex-girlfriend back, you don’t want to take simple steps to try and win her. Contacting her through social media, calls, or texts will only get you blocked because of the existing emotional block. When you try to reach out to your ex and she resists you, it reduces your chances of wowing her back.
Initiating an accidental contact is a sleek technique of how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible. It eliminates the resistance that intentional contact such as call triggers.
It’s easy to know what’s going on in people’s lives nowadays because of social media. You can easily know places she likes hanging out or planning to go.
If you haven’t read between the lines, I am encouraging you to be a stalker. The emotional change that is triggered after a breakup can change the woman from what you used to know. A bit of stalking will give you an idea of how to approach your ex.
3. Have a social proof advantage
Another way of how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible is to build a social proof advantage. Think about it. Your ex-girlfriend will be willing to listen to you if she knows you are a better person. However, she’ll not give you a chance to prove that you are a better person.
Getting close to someone she trusts is a sneaky way of getting back in her life. Now, your task is to indirectly convince her friend or family that you are worth them talking to her about you.
If they go and say “John has really changed. I noticed so much growth and maturity in him.” Your ex will be willing to give you an open ear without emotional baggage from your previous relationship acting as a baseline for your interaction.
Creating a social proof advantage gives you a new rapport with your ex. She’ll want to know the new you rather than dwell on the painful experiences she had with you.
4. Offer friendship but make your intentions known.
If you are in an impossible position of getting back your ex, one thing that she’ll be social distancing herself from is engaging in a romantic relationship with you. You’ll face more resistance when you approach and start gaming her.
A smooth way of how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible is offering friendship but making your intentions known. You want her to understand that you are still interested in her but that’s not the only reason you are back in her life.
Women ask themselves questions like, why does he want me now? What has changed in me that now he sees my value? And when those types of questions come knocking you don’t want her to think you have missed the sex or you are lonely and need some company.
Offering friendship gives her a choice other than yes or no to a romantic relationship. Creating the third option relieves pressure from her. Most women will go for the third option to understand better what they are getting into and that gives you a window to impress her with the reinvented you.
5. Display a high level of commitment
There’s nothing that kicks your chances of getting your ex back in the balls like doubt and uncertainty. She might see that you’ve changed, but she has also seen another side of you. The two conflicting sides of you can work against you rather than for you.
Displaying a high level of commitment is a surefire technique of eliminating doubt and uncertainty, which can be a clever way of how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible. It’s easy to understand and predict a person with a high level of commitment.
It will be easy for her to trust in your reinvented self if she can note the consistency in commitment to what you are pursuing. You’ll then have an easier time proving to her that your new commitment to her is not a smokescreen.
6. Implant the idea of a better future
The motivation that persuades a person to invest in a business that failed is the hope that the business has a better future. It’s also the main reason that most people get back to failed relationships. Using the psychological phenomenon of inspiring hope is a sleek technique of how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible.
The impossible status is reinforced by the idea that she’ll not have a happy ending. Implanting the idea of a better future can change your ex’s perspective of being in a relationship with you.
One way of implanting the idea of a better future is showing what orchestrated the breakup is not going to happen again. For example, if you broke up because of infidelity, let your new relationship not inspire any doubts around infidelity. Giving her undivided attention will boost her confidence in the new relationship.
It can be an emotionally consuming process when you are trying to get your ex. You start gaming the girl from a disadvantage. Although you can never be 100% sure that you are emotionally and mentally ready for the process, understanding that it can go either way will make you accept things the way they are early in the process.
You’ve probably heard the saying once bitten, twice shy. It might actually be impossible to get your ex-girlfriend back if it seems impossible. Therefore, it’s crucial to genuinely assess your odds as you try to get your ex back.
Persistence and patience are some of the vital qualities you’ll need when trying to get your ex back. Nevertheless, one of the most important realizations in the process will be to know when to give up. Good luck!
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Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.
He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.