Insecurity is like venom in a relationship. You’ll see the relationship slowly losing its spark and becoming toxic if you don’t do something fast to stop it.
However, most guys don’t know if they are dating an insecure girl until it’s late. By that point, they are miserable and are probably looking for a way out.
Being able to see signs that can help you make a better judgment if you’re dealing with an insecure girlfriend improves your ability to have good and fulfilling relationships. You’ll approach the relationship in a masterful way because you are aware.
Furthermore, most people feel insecure about their partner at one point or another. Understanding how you’ll handle yourself or your partner when insecure becomes crucial knowledge to have when in a relationship.
In this blog, you’ll explore various ways of how to deal with an insecure girlfriend and identify the signs of one. You also get to see new ways to rebuild your relationship to give it the thrill it once had.
First, let’s explore signs that you are dealing with an insecure girlfriend:
1. She’s always in touch
It’s good to have personal space especially when you are in a relationship. It gives you time to reflect on other things that don’t revolve around your girlfriend.
However, an insecure woman will take your personal space as a threat. There’s a very thick line between a woman that’s keeping in touch because she cares and one that’s insecure. Insecurity makes it very challenging for a person to trust others.
(I’d highly recommend you read this: How to tell if your girlfriend is lying).
When a woman is insecure, she’ll want to keep in touch with you because she thinks you’ll hurt her with your actions. She’ll keep in touch more often as a surveillance technique to keep tabs on you.
2. She’s controlling
The fear that an insecure girlfriend experiences makes her suspicious of everything. She’ll desire to be where you are or know you are at all times.
An insecure girl will want to control the things that trigger her insecurity and that might mean that she’ll also want to control some of the things you do. If she’s insecure about having a guy with one pack because of what her friends will say, she’ll want to control what you eat.
When a girl is insecure about other women, she’ll want to always know where you are and what you are doing.
3. She’ll always seek validation
How a girl talks and the questions she asks you frequently can show you if the girl is insecure. An insecure girlfriend will seek your approval on everything. Your validation will be crucial because it’s what makes her secure.
(This will prove extremely useful: How to ask a girl out over text).
When a girl constantly asks if you love them, what you’d have done if you were not with them, that’s a big sign of insecurity. Insecure people in relationships desire the approval of their spouse because it reassures them of where their feelings lie.
4. Your social life is withering
When you are dating an insecure girl, you become the highlight of her life. She’ll flood you with all the focus and attention. It might seem romantic and thrilling at the initial stages of dating, but it will be undermined as the relationship progresses as she’ll expect the same from you.
She’ll want to spend most of your time with you, which leaves you with no time to cultivate your other friendships. Alienating you from your friends and family is important to her because the fewer contacts you have, the less she has to worry about someone taking you from her.
Most guys with insecure girlfriends find it challenging to have female friends.
5. She blows things out of proportion
When you don’t respond to her texts on time, or you miss her calls, how does she react? An insecure girl will come guns blazing or ignore you when you finally reach out.
What happens is when she wants to talk to you and you are unavailable, she starts imagining what’s keeping you busy. The scenarios that she comes up with are inspired by the insecurities she harbors which means they are not positive.
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She’ll hold you to her imagination which will mostly prompt her to overreact regardless of the actual scenario. An insecure girlfriend will also make it hard for you to tell her when she’s wrong.
6. She’s a pessimist
One of the sure-fire signs of an insecure girlfriend is pessimism. It’s challenging to have positive thoughts when you are motivated by insecurity.
An insecure girl will be afraid to try out new things in the relationship because she’s not sure how it will affect the relationship. The status quo works better for her because it doesn’t trigger new insecurities.
Also, insecure girlfriends tend to be very reserved about how they feel especially when it’s undesirable. She’ll use your imperfections as tools to ground you in the relationship.
How to deal with an insecure girlfriend and foster a healthy and thrilling relationship.
Now that you’ve explored signs of an insecure girlfriend, it’s time to look at how to deal with an insecure girlfriend.
What are some of the things that give your relationship its spark back?
1. Understand your girlfriend
It would be hectic to maintain relationships if you walked out of every relationship that a girl experienced insecurity. However, understanding why your woman feels insecure can help you secure your relationship and make it fun.
(Learn where to find gorgeous women: How to meet women).
Listening with an intention to understand is a good place to start decoding why your girlfriend feels insecure. The insecurity might stem from a bad relationship she had.
Understanding your girl can give you valuable insights about how to approach her and deal with the insecurity. You’ll also get to know what triggers her and how to avoid the triggers.
2. Build her confidence in the relationship.
Lack of confidence is a major reason that most girls are insecure in the relationship. She might not lack confidence in you, but lacking confidence in herself can also make your woman insecure in the relationship.
A sure-fire way of how to deal with an insecure girlfriend is to try to build her confidence in you and the relationship. Showing her that you are genuine with your intentions can make her feel comfortable in the relationship.
One way of building your girl’s confidence is through frequent affirmations. However, you have to be careful not to validate her as it feeds the insecurity. Affirming to her that your love is genuine and you desire the relationship to work can reduce instances of insecurities experienced in the relationship.
3. Keep your promises.
It’s common for most couples sometimes to make mirage promises because they don’t want to disappoint their partner at that point. However, when you are dealing with an insecure girlfriend, it’s good to remember that trust is also an issue.
(You definitely need to read this: How to kiss a girl).
Keeping your promises when you make them shows that you are dependable and your word means something. She’ll be more inclined to trust you when you tell her that you love her and everything is going to be okay.
A girl will also be able to notice when she’s insecure and talk herself out of it if you have built a solid foundation with how you walk the talk.
4. Show a bit of dependence.
Insecurity sometimes stems from a person feeling they are not adequate. A healthy show of dependence can help your girl overcome her insecurities.
She’ll feel that she’s important to you which prevents any limiting mindset that goes contrary to that. It’s a simple method of dealing with an insecure girlfriend but it sure does wonders.
Solicit her advice on something that seems important to you. If the advice she gives you is practical, subtly let her see you follow it. It will give her a sense of security in the relationship and your life.
5. Public display of affection
Relationships would have been so simple if you could tell what’s on your girl’s mind. When you have an insecure girlfriend, the insecurity may stem from her not being loved the way she desires.
Public display of affection is a sneaky way of dealing with an insecure girlfriend. You are silently showing her that you value and are proud to be with her. It’s an action that affirms you are genuine with your intentions with her.
Simple acts like holding her hand when you are walking or giving her random kisses when you are out can make her feel appreciated and loved. That will prevent insecurity from getting the better of her when she experiences it.
6. Show interest in her life.
There’s a lot you can learn about a person when you have a genuine interest in them. You’ll even act differently.
Showing interest in your girlfriend’s life can make her feel important. That’s a sneaky and clever way to combat insecurity. Your interest in her will reminds her how much you value her.
(Never run out of things to say every again: How to keep a conversation going with a girl).
Asking about how she spent her day is a good way to start building and showing interest to your girl. Listen as she rants about the experiences she’s encountered. It will build the girl’s confidence to open up to you even when she’s experiencing an insecure moment.
7. Create an open communication environment
Communication is important when it comes to dealing successfully with an insecure girlfriend. Most of the time insecurity is triggered by a lack of information on the actual occurrence of events.
If your girl suspects you, she is insecure about the things that trigger her suspicion. Building open communication eliminates chances of insecurity as a result of miscommunication.
Open communication makes it easy for you to know what is making your girlfriend feel insecure. It also allows the girl to express her insecurities to you without fearing judgment or ridicule.
Now you have sure-fire ways of how to deal with an insecure girlfriend. However, women are different and they express their insecurities in diverse ways.
Creating a genuine interest and understanding of your girlfriend can transform your relationship. Insecurity acts like a barrier in the relationship. It hinders a woman from loving you the best way she could possibly do.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.