Dealing with your girl’s emotional roller-coaster is an inseparable part of being in a relationship. However, sometimes continuous negative emotional experiences can make it challenging to be in a relationship with someone no matter how much you would have liked things to work out.
Jealousy is one of those dark emotions that ruin beautiful relationships. Although there’s a certain amount of Jealousy that can be considered healthy when a relationship is dominated by jealousy it can make even the world’s most beautiful girl seem like a nightmare to a guy.
Nevertheless, you don’t have to lose the woman you desire because of the dark stain caused by jealousy. In this blog, you’ll explore brilliant ways of how to deal with a jealous girlfriend and how to spot if your girlfriend is jealous.
You’ll have a chance to potentially save your relationship and the heartbreak that comes with letting the one you love go.
How to spot a jealous girlfriend?
The ability to spot jealousy in your girlfriend before it metastasizes can give you an easy time to deal with it and steer things in a different direction. This understanding helps you come up with the best approach that will inspire your girl to comply with your concerns and perspectives.
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Here are ways you can spot a jealous girlfriend early in the relationship:
- She’s interested in details that would show her if you’re being naughty with other girls. The litmus test is she’ll overreact if you are not giving her the details she wants.
- She falsely accuses you of things. Jealousy can be inspired by insecurity which can prompt her to falsely accuse you of things such as infidelity.
- She goes through your phone or emails without your consent or knowledge. You’ll notice that she’s very eager to get her hands on your phone, especially when she hasn’t been around you for some time.
- She tries to make you jealous. Jealousy can make a girl bitter in the relationship. That can prompt her to make you feel the same way ‘you make her feel.’ She’ll somehow try to make you feel that you’re lucky to be in a relationship with her.
- She compares herself to other women in an inferior way. If your girl talks about other women and she plays the underdog in most of her scenarios that can be a sign of jealousy. It shows that she feels you see other women as better as compared to her but she feels powerless to do anything to establish her worth in the relationship.
- She wants to be shown affection throughout when you are in the public. Girls that are jealous use this technique to scare off other women that might show interest in you. She might want you to hold hands throughout or behave in a ‘lovey-dovey ‘clingy way.
There’s a wide spectrum of possible ways on how you can deal with a jealous girlfriend. You’ll get minimal resistance if you use techniques that complement the jealousy signals you’ve picked from your girlfriend.
Nevertheless, some of the techniques that I’ll highlight here can be used in any case when dealing with jealousy you feel is present but can’t pinpoint it.
Here are meticulous ways of how to deal with a jealous girlfriend:
1. Show her you are willing to listen.
In most cases, a jealous girlfriend usually feels unheard and misunderstood. This fuels the jealousy they feel because they feel they are in the dark.
Showing your girlfriend that you are willing to listen gives her a platform to vent how she feels. You’ll have an easier time understanding why your girlfriend is jealous, which can inspire you to come up with the right approach to handle the issues.
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For instance, if your girlfriend saw you interacting with other women and she acted jealous, don’t try to brush it off. It will give your girl room to bottle up negative emotions.
Approach your girlfriend and listen to what drove her to that point. It’s common to sometimes misinterpret a person’s actions or intent. You might find that you subconsciously do things that trigger her jealousy, especially when talking to girls.
2. Understand her triggers
It can be challenging to keep track of everything that makes your girlfriend jealous. However, there are jealousy acts that are rooted in deep insecurity waves. Understanding those triggers can make it easy for you to handle your girl’s jealousy.
A simple way of understanding your girl’s deep insecurities is by looking at her deal-breakers in a relationship. What are some of the negative experiences she had in her previous relationship that might make her feel like she’s having a Deja vu?
Once you understand your girl’s triggers, you’ll know how to relate with her in ways that won’t inspire jealousy. You’ll know which behaviors you can change and those that you can bargain for compromise to maintain a peaceful and healthy relationship.
3. Maintain your cool
It can be agitating when you are accused of things you’ve not done. It makes you feel like your efforts in the relationship are not being recognized let alone being appreciated. That can automatically send you on defensive mode.
(Read the following article to learn how to properly build genuine interest with women: How to win a girls heart).
However, when you are dealing with a jealous girlfriend, it’s crucial to remember that her perception may be distorted by the insecurities that she’s experiencing. Getting defensive to show her that she’s wrong is likely to escalate the situation.
The best way to approach the situation is to remain calm when you are confronted with your jealous girlfriend. It gives her a chance to rant about what she feels. When she realizes that you are calm, she’ll adopt that energy and allow room for progressive communication.
4. Don’t take punches in silence
The next technique of how to deal with a jealous girlfriend is to make your feelings known. A jealous girlfriend might not know that her actions are screaming jealousy and it’s compromising the relationship.
Talking to your girlfriend about how you feel when she acts jealous can give her a clear realization of what her actions are doing to the relationship and you. She’ll start self-analyzing how she reacts to situations to determine if it’s inspired by jealousy.
Taking punches in silence will push you to your breaking point. You’ll bottle up the negative experiences and emotions that are caused by your girlfriend’s jealousy. Within no time, the spark that lit in your eyes when you thought about your girl will fade.
5. Make her feel valued.
Your girlfriend’s self-esteem and confidence in the relationship can determine how she reacts and acts in the relationship. A confident woman will not judge your actions based on her insecurities or fear.
Making your girl feel valued is a tactful approach to silence the insecurities and build her confidence in the relationship. A girl being confident means that she’s not doubting your intentions for her.
One sneaky way of making your girl feel valued is to give her the power to make a difference in you or the relationship. Seek her view on things you consider sensitive, she’ll feel important to you if she feels you need her. However, you have to be careful not to be too vulnerable because it can be misunderstood as a weakness.
6. Establish boundaries in the relationship
It’s almost impossible to find a girl that will like and dislike everything you do. Healthy relationships are forged by creating boundaries in the relationship to address the differences that root from individuality and unique personalities.
Boundaries create a better understanding of your partner which facilitates harmony in the relationship. On the other hand, lacking boundaries can creep in jealousy in the relationship because there’s nothing to address the differences.
The differences can manifest as expectations. Your partner may be jealous because she feels disadvantaged in the relationship according to her expectations. Nevertheless, when she knows what to expect from you, it can prevent her from creating stories in her head that inspire jealousy and undesirable feelings.
7. Be patient and kind
Sometimes it’s difficult to change a behavior that one has been used to for years. How to deal with a jealous girlfriend can require a lot of patience and kindness. It might take longer depending on what triggers the jealousy.
For instance, if your girl’s jealousy is triggered by betrayal in the previous relationship, it can take her a lot of time to overcome her insecurities and fears and let her guard down.
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Nevertheless, it’s always wise to know which battles are worth fighting. If your girlfriend’s jealousy is making you a depressed person, it’s healthy to be able to take a break from her and focus on rebuilding your happiness.
Furthermore, when you appear unhappy always, it will be challenging for girls to notice your attractiveness.
How to deal with a jealous girlfriend depends on so many levels on how well you understand your girl. It also depends on the value that you’ve placed on the relationship. If you are not that invested in the relationship, you might find dealing with deep-rooted jealousy overwhelming.
You’ll be in a position of power if you can tell the signs of jealousy early in the relationship. It gives you a chance to decide if the relationship is worth the sacrifice that sometimes comes with dealing with a jealous girl.
The ability to flexibly rebuild your image and position in the relationship makes it easy for you to deal with any woman you date.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.