We constantly find ourselves in situations we wished we were confident enough.
As a man, one of the most challenging battles you can face is knowing you are not equipped for the battle you are facing.
The desperation takes away your will to try.
Your mindset takes you to self-preserve before you even face the action.
Approaching a woman you are attracted to without confidence can feel like such a battle.
You are unsure about what you want to tell her, how she’ll take it, and what she’ll think about you afterward?
These are questions that lack of confidence can rob you from knowing the actual outcome.
The lack of confidence will make the questions so scary and give you the worst possible outcomes that will force you to back down.
Maybe, just maybe, if you would have approached her, she would have liked you.
So, lack of confidence not only does scare you to death but also robs you of opportunities.
Statistics indicate that living a happy and fulfilling life is directly dependent on the individual level of confidence.
Confident people initiate moves that most are afraid to try.
When you lack confidence, it means that you’ll always be bent to someone’s will, which might make you unhappy most of the time.
Confidence is a personality’s spice that illuminates your strengths and makes you comfortable with your weaknesses. It makes your presence felt even when you have not spoken.
But this crucial feeling depends on how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself.
How you feel and perceive yourself is what you’ll sell in a conversation. People treat us depending on the self-value that we have displayed.
What do you think you are worth (not in terms of money), and how do you communicate it?
These are questions that most guys battle with subconsciously.
But don’t worry because by the time you finish this blog, you’ll see confidence from a different perspective!
You’ll work smart in building your confidence which will reduce the time you’ll take to master this crucial skill.
Why is it important to build your confidence?
Dating is easy for men with audacity because they have the confidence to do what most men shy from.
It’s the confidence that makes a woman stick to a bad boy who does not see her worth as much as you do.
Here’s why it’s important for you to build your confidence:
▪ It makes you mysterious. You are not afraid to be wrong, and you are not afraid to try. You’ll always pose a new challenge for the woman to solve and that will make the woman connect on a deeper level with you.
▪ Confidence polishes all your other desirable traits. For example, you are good at storytelling, but you lack the confidence required to tell the story. You’ll not capture the attention and interest of the woman as you would if you are confident. Confidence can hide the fact that you might not be a good storyteller after all.
▪ It makes you an optimistic person. Confidence makes you believe that there’s a solution to every problem, and you’ll not stop trying even if you fail. That type of energy can be very attractive and addictive to women. Women like men that show them the beauty in life.
▪ It enhances your emotional stability. Supreme confidence enables you to stay calm even in chaotic situations. You’ll not take rejection personally which will help you to handle it calmly.
▪ It increases your sex appeal. Your confidence is mostly related with your body language and other nonverbal cues. When you are confident, your body language will inspire confidence in the woman’s subconscious and also trust.
People are more susceptible to believe a confident lie than truth from a guy who lacks confidence.
We have a Confidence Booster training program that teaches you how to make what you say believable.
Take a quick look at the video below.
However, people are different and need a boost in dissimilar areas of confidence to make ourselves attain unstoppable confidence and date the women we desire. Even the women require to be shown different areas of confidence.
That’s why it becomes important for you to understand what triggers your fears and anxiety.
My data as a dating coach over the years has made me understand that lack of confidence is the common trigger.
What are the common confidence barriers to dating women we desire?
Most men experience a minute of anxiety before they approach a woman. But not all men overcome that anxiety by the time they’ve started a conversation with the woman.
It’s a slippery ground to trail in because when a woman notices you are anxious, it makes them anxious too.
They will become defensive, which will ruin any chance you have with her.
So, what can trigger such a lack of confidence when approaching women?
1. Running out of things to say
Most men run out of things to say to women because they take the wrong approach.
You approach a woman intending to impress her and pick her up. However, it becomes hard for most men to bounce back once the conversation takes an unexpected detour.
Women also can test you in a conversation to see your will and determine your attraction level.
Some of these tests push most men to conversation traps where they run out of things to say.
Building unstoppable confidence will keep you calm when the conversation takes an unexpected turn.
It also makes you very flexible, which enables you to adapt to new topics in a conversation first and take control.
That’s another thing…
Confidence gives you the ability to control conversation structure, which helps you avoid traps and any unprecedented situation.
2. Self-sabotaging thinking patterns
Your mindset when approaching a woman you desire is crucial.
Lack of confidence can make a man think of the worst possible outcomes of approaching a woman, which can discourage them from approaching the woman.
Self-sabotaging thinking patterns are a sign of low self-esteem, which can also indicate a low confidence level.
The self-limiting beliefs can be triggered externally and internally, which can make you easily irritable.
Women try to push some buttons to see your emotional intelligence and maturity. It’s unfair but women search for men with emotional stability because they desire emotional security.
Confidence helps you to start restructuring your thinking patterns. Instead of seeing all the impossibilities when approaching a woman, you’ll start seeing the possibilities.
You’ll start embracing your strengths more and start working on imperfections that you can improve and accept what you cannot.
3. Bad experience
Men are raised to be strong and emotionally composed even when you are not okay.
So, most men avoid sharing their failed experience when they approach a woman.
However, some men take rejection harshly, and it scars their confidence with women.
I met a guy that approached a woman who later asked him to hook her up with his friend.
You can imagine the ego destruction that this guy went through. It was so bad that he avoided approaching women at all.
The antidote to his situation was simple.
Build his confidence until he makes one successful approach, and he’ll see the other side of the coin.
We worked on his confidence until he had the courage to approach a woman and talk to her.
4. Approach anxiety
Guys that have been watching our YouTube videos, reading our blogs, or taking any of our confidence related programs such as Confidence Booster, know that we talk about approach anxiety in great lengths.
Sometimes guys don’t even realize they are experiencing approach anxiety.
Approach anxiety is caused by your brain telling your body that the environment is not safe.
Most of us are wired to self-preserve, which will prompt us to flee the scene.
Your mind will go-ahead to give you justifiable reasons valid to you of why it was the best decision to flee.
That will place you in a vicious cycle of procrastination.
When you are not achieving what you desire, your morale goes down, which affects how you communicate your value and confidence.
But if you can talk yourself out of fear, you’ll be more motivated to achieve your goal, and it won’t hurt if you miss because you are mentally prepared.
Now you understand what triggers lack of confidence and why unstoppable confidence is crucial to getting the woman you desire.
But how do you build unstoppable confidence?
Well, let’s explore various ways of building unstoppable confidence and date the woman of your dreams:
1. Embrace rejection
The fear of rejection is one of the leading causes of confidence deterioration.
It gives you the anxiety of the unknown until the only way to calm the chaos in your head is by withdrawing. But that’s not a solution because you did not face the action.
Not everyone will like you and not everyone will dislike you.
However, most men feel that when a woman turns them down it necessarily has to do with something with them.
It can make you question yourself in ways that you’ll not raise any answers but more doubts about your abilities to get the woman you desire.
Some guys are dealing with hearts they didn’t shutter.
A woman can say no because of her personal reasons that have nothing to do with you.
Embracing rejection gives you the will power to overcome that fear.
You will be mentally prepared for the conversation to go either way which can make you flexible and sleek in the conversation.
Your mind likes to feel safe and when you embrace rejection, you’ll have no reason to fight with yourself.
2. Work on your appearance
The way a woman receives your approach can inspire confidence or take it away.
When you approach a woman and she’s bubbly and smiley, you become more confident talking to her because you know that she’s enjoying the conversation.
But when she doesn’t talk or gives you one-word answers and a cold body language, it becomes difficult for you to express yourself.
You’ll start looking for ways to impress the woman which takes you to the defensive and makes you look insecure and lacks confidence.
You can make your interaction with the woman fun by creating a desirable first impression.
The reality is that women will judge you depending on how you are dressed and groomed.
That’s why most women fail in the funny YouTube videos in which millionaire dresses like a beggar and tries to approach them.
Most women are more cautious of their surroundings and how people perceive them. A well-groomed and stylish guy is likely to inspire confidence in a woman and that’s why his conversation with the woman will be easy.
Wear clothes that fit you well and complement your body.
Try and make sure your dental and physical hygiene is good.
When you look good, you feel good.
That feeling of accomplishment in your appearance will boost your confidence when you approach a woman.
Workout to keep your body in shape.
There’s no perfect body size, but no woman wants to be with a man that seems to be struggling to handle his weight.
Workout improves your mood, and when you achieve anything in your sessions, you become more confident in your abilities to do what you never thought you could.
3. Build on your strengths
Working on your mindset is crucial to building unstoppable confidence.
Most guys that lack confidence to approach is due to the fact that they have set their minds to start analyzing things from the negative.
You are searching for more reasons why you should not chase after your desire rather than looking for a single reason that will motivate you to pursue what you desire.
Building on your strengths is a sleek way to adjust your mindset.
You’ll start analyzing a situation with your strengths rather than weakness.
The more you win using your strengths, the more you’ll be motivated to start working on the small imperfections that you can work on.
At the end of the process, you’ll have more strengths than weaknesses which will skyrocket your confidence.
When you are building on your strengths, determine;
▪ Which topics are you comfortable talking about?
▪ Which type of environment do you feel comfortable in?
▪ Which parts of your personality make you unique?
▪ What are your hobbies and interests and how can you use them to get women?
These questions can give you a clear picture of where to start.
As you continue, you’ll know where to improvise and that’s how you get what you want.
4. Build your nonverbal communication techniques
A woman will not believe you when you walk up to her and tell her you are a confident guy.
She might, but vocal communication in this matter does not make a huge difference.
She’ll determine your confidence by the little hints that she picks from your nonverbal cues.
Slouched body posture can be a sign of a lack of confidence.
It makes you appear smaller than you are and dilutes your sex appeal.
That means that you’ll start the conversation at a disadvantage because the woman will have to build emotional walls.
When your body language communicates a lack of confidence, the woman is trapped in a dilemma between your words and actions.
It creates doubt which makes the woman retreat to self-preserve mode.
When you approach a woman, maintain an upright posture and firm handshake.
Maintain eye contact during the communication and allow your facial expressions to express the emotions you are experiencing.
A woman will withdraw if there’s any miscommunication between your words and nonverbal cues.
5. Develop a genuine interest.
Most guys will be comfortable taking home a woman that’s physically appealing even if they don’t know much about them.
It’s just us and that’s how we roll.
But what makes the woman you want to approach across the room more attractive than the one sitting next to you?
Finding something that motivates you to pursue a woman can help you be patient and composed with the woman.
Lack of confidence when you’ve approached a woman can spring from not knowing what to talk about.
Building a genuine interest with the woman you desire makes the woman familiar because you’ll know more about her.
The information will boost your confidence because you’ll understand which buttons to push.
It’s the small blocks that build an empire.
There’s no dominant trait that when you work on that will improve your confidence.
However, confidence is achieved by small wins that give you the courage to face the monster.
And it doesn’t matter which aspect of your life is winning, the confidence will trickle until it becomes a visible trait in your personality.
You can learn how to build various confidence blocks at Kamalifestyles by trying out the wide range of products that we offer.
Confidence Booster is one of our programs that’s guaranteed to boost your confidence with women.
The worst battle a man can face is a battle that he knows he had everything to prepare but didn’t and now he faces defeat.