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How to be more affectionate to my girlfriend

How to be more affectionate to my girlfriend

Most relationships are founded on the personal interest that people get out of the relationship. The majority of women desire affection in their relationships which can trigger friction if they don’t get what they desire.


However, we cannot overlook the fact that people have different love languages, and how they express affection can differ from what one expects. Your environment as a child and personality can play a significant role in how you express affection in your relationship.


Also, how you show affection to your girlfriend will be determined by her personality and interests. While some might hold hands in public as a show of affection, some find it as attracting too much attention they don’t want.


(Texting plays a vital role in showing affection too. Why not have a look at the following article on how often you should text a girl to keep her interested).


In this blog, we’ll explore different ways to show affection that will answer the question most men have, how to be more affectionate to my girlfriend?


Understand the love language in the relationship.


One of the most crucial things that a couple needs to know in a relationship is their partner’s love language. There are various love languages, and understanding your love language is equally important as understanding the love language of the woman you’re dating.


You’ll become more conscious of your needs and the woman’s needs in the relationship. That will put you in a better position to know how to show affection to your girlfriend.

How to be more affectionate to my girlfriend

A study by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages suggests that love languages fall into five categories. You can exhibit one or more love languages depending on the person you’re dating.


(Here’s a FREE resource on female psychology: Dating Hot Women).



Let’s look at the types of love languages to help you put yours into perspective:

  • Acts of service: It’s a dominant love language to those people that consider actions to be more significant than words. The acts you do for your girlfriend will be interpreted as expressions of love, care, and affection.

You can do things that your girlfriend enjoys like cooking her best dish, or taking out the trash every Thursday, or simply picking her up from work. That will show her that she’s special to you.

  • Receiving gifts: People with this type of love language express their affection through giving gifts. That doesn’t mean that this type of love language is materialistic. A gift can be anything from a vacation to giving her flowers after a long day at work.

Most people that exhibit this type of love language can also display acts of service as a secondary love language. You can sometimes design the gifts in the house to give it a more personalized touch.

  • Words of affirmation: If your woman likes compliments then this can be her type of love language. Women with this type of love language like to be noticed for the things they do. The base of this love language is communication.

Building a communication system that allows you to boost your girlfriend’s confidence and self-esteem can play a significant role in displaying your affection towards your girl.

  • Physical touch: It’s a common misconception that most women’s physical touch is their love language. However, people who display this form of love language enjoy the physical presence and proximity of people they are dating.

Hugging, kissing, and holding hands are ways that you can express your affection to women with this love language.

  • Quality time: Time is money but to some people, time is a way of showing your affection. Women that display this form of love language translate affection with the quality time they spend with their men.

It can be a simple walk in the park or going for a chilled drive late at night. However, to make it count, understand what your woman loves doing. You can take up her activities and occasionally alternate with yours to create memorable time together.


(If you ever find your girlfriend distancing herself you need to check this blog out: how to make her chase you in a relationship).


It’s crucial that you also allow your girlfriend to understand your love language. We enjoy moments of affection whether we are on the receiving or giving end. Allowing your girl to understand your love language will relieve some of the pressure of displaying affection always.


Talk to your girlfriend.


One thing that most guys avoid in a relationship is to seem like they don’t know what they are doing. Most men want to appear experienced to impress the woman they are dating.


Nevertheless, it’s cute to want to figure out what your girl desires and how to be more affectionate. But sometimes it’s hard to pick viable clues that will help you achieve your intention.


(If you really want to master how to talk to your girlfriend then check out our Live Training Programme: Conversation Mastery).



Talking to your woman about how she wants to experience affection from you might look like you are not putting in much effort. But you’ll lose the woman either way if you show her affection the right way.


Your girl might actually like the fact that you want to make an effort to show her affection the way she desires. Talking to your girlfriend about it can help you customize your affection to suit her needs.


Create time for her.


We are living in a fast world and time is a crucial aspect. You have bills waiting, mortgage, taxes, and career or business to grow. But you also have a relationship to nurture.


Relationships need time, effort, and resources to work. How you invest in your relationship will determine how stable and long it will last.


Creating time to spend with your girlfriend is one of the ultimate shows of affection. The time you spend together gives you a chance to understand your woman better. It also allows her to feel loved and express her love for you.


(how to get girls to like you? Check this out: Get girls to like you).


How to be more affectionate to my girlfriend will be the least of your worries when you are emotionally and physically connected. You’ll know what your woman needs without having to ask.


Create time to engage in new activities that you or your woman might enjoy. Affection is a feeling that a woman will experience when she’s having a time of her life.


Plan for something special.


The fact that you are reading this blog means that you are ready to put in the work. You might have a different love language than your girlfriend but you want things to work.


In some relationships, affection comes naturally but some need to put in some effort. Your girlfriend will feel special if you take time and plan for something nice for her.

How to be more affectionate to my girlfriend

It doesn’t always have to be something major. You can even plan for a walk together that will give you quality time to chat and bond.


Romantic dinner dates are also a way of showing affection to your girl. Randomly call her favorite restaurant and book a reservation for two. You’ll experience a different side of your girl that will motivate you to want to do more for her.


(Knowing how to seduce your girlfriend will also help too: how to seduce a girl).



You can make your girlfriend’s birthday, anniversary, and anything you might celebrate an event for you two. That shows the woman the thought you put when planning things for her.


Help out your girlfriend.


It’s a gratifying feeling when you get help for something that has been stressing you out. One of the sneaky ways of showing affection to your woman is helping them out. It’s sneaky because you don’t have to put much thought into it.


Women are in touch with their emotions more than guys. Maybe your girl is struggling with self-esteem, confidence, building friendships, or anything with an emotional overload.


Putting your foot in and helping them find the balance they desire can translate as the ultimate display of affection. Emotional support is a way of showing affection that really gets to women because it appeals to their emotions dating coaches for men.


Be present in the relationship.


The 21st has put most couples on autopilot in their relationships. We work on everything else around us except our relationships and friendships. That means that most couples don’t know what’s happening in their partner’s life and that’s why divorce cases are high.


Being in the present both physically and emotionally allows you to see in real-time what your girlfriend needs. You’ll know when your woman is sad and step in. You’ll know when she’s hurting and step in.


You’ll always have perfect timing with your actions that will translate to care, love, and affection. Your woman will grow closer to you because of your timely affection.


Listen to your girl.


If you’re wondering how to be affectionate to my girlfriend, I have a hack for you. Listen to her to understand her. Your woman can say something as a by the way but it means something to her.


Remembering what she said she likes and surprising her with it can make you more affectionate to your girlfriend.




It’s important to show affection to your woman but it should be a collective responsibility. The more your woman shows you affection the more you’ll be prompted to be creative in ways you show her affection.


Understanding your girl’s love language is the first step that will put you on the right track to become the Casanova she’s addicted to. You’ll no longer have to worry about how to be more affectionate to my girlfriend.


(In case you feel you’re an introvert this book will really help: Introverted Casanova).


Building good emotional and physical affection can improve your life and relationship. You’ll have fewer fights because issues are addressed when they arise. The affection that you show your girl will act as a constant reminder of your commitment and love.


The main purpose of affection is to make your partner feel good about being in a relationship with you.


Iain Myles

Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.


Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.