Approaching women during the day is still something that people find hard to get their heads around. Most people have the stigma that you can only meet women in bars and clubs, through their friends or through dating agencies. Where the reality is that you can meet women almost anywhere.
How to Be Effective Approaching During the Day? Many guys come to me because they want to know how to get a girlfriend and the best answer is during the day. This is because most of the women that are girlfriend material usually do not go out to bars, I am not saying that all the women you meet in bars are not girlfriend material but by shutting out the possibility of meeting women in the day you are severely reducing your chances.
(Here’s an example of a great article on getting her attention: how to get a girls attention).
Once you can get your head around the possibilities of meeting women during the day I will explain to you below how to be the most effective when approaching during the day.
Just like bars and clubs, the one thing that you should always do is approach as much as possible. Use the 3 second rule and approach a girl within seconds of seeing her. As I said before do not concern yourself about what to say just let your feet do the talking.
The most important element to remember is to make a habit of doing it all the time. It has been proven that it takes just over 40 days to create a habit so my advice is to set one goal to approach so many women during the day.
I always advise my students at Kama Lifestyles to make a single goal to approach 5 women every day. If you do this for over 40 days you will not recognize yourself in the mirror.
Being Outcome Dependant
What is approach anxiety and where does it come from? Quite simply it when you see an attractive woman and you think about approaching her and you worry about all the worst case scenarios that could happen. This will not happen if you use the 3 second rule as you will not give yourself time to have an internal dialogue with yourself.
Another way of overcoming approach anxiety is to change your mind set. Instead of concerning yourself about how she may react to your approach, think about how the approach will benefit you. If she is receptive, then great and you can work on your conversation skills and closing skills and if she is not receptive you can learn to deal with rejection.
The reality is that you are approaching a complete stranger and you cannot control how they will react. If she is not receptive it is not a case of her rejecting you it is more about her as a person not being comfortable enough in herself accepting a compliment from a stranger.
Do not concern yourself with what she is thinking or what she may think just concentrate on being your best self.
Being Aware Of the Stages
As I mentioned briefly there are mainly 3 stages to an interaction and you should always be aware of what stage you are when interacting with someone.
Obviously there is the approach where you start a conversation with someone and then if they are receptive then there is the improve where your objective is to bring out your best self through stories or cold reading and to develop a connection with the person.
(Learn how to seduce properly by reading this amazing blog article: How to Seduce a Woman).
Finally there is the close where your objective is to end the conversation with a number. Obviously as I said before do not concern yourself too much about what you will say to start the conversation but it does help to have a basic idea.
You can neither be indirect or direct, there are pros and cons to both and I will cover this at a later stage. I myself prefer to be direct with a girl.
If you are going to be direct with a girl make sure that you use a false time constraint. “Excuse me, I can’t stay long because I have to be at a meeting soon but I would just kick myself if I did not find out if you are a nice as you look”.
The false time constraint will help to put her more at ease and as well as that it will show that you are a guy in demand and there is nothing more attractive in a guy than that. Once she seems interested you should focus on developing a good connection with her as it will be far more likely that she will give you a number because of this.
Wrap It Up
A successful interaction with a girl should not last any longer than 15 minutes. If you are aware of what stage you are in during the interaction then you can be more effective as a result. If the conversation is going very well and she is showing clear signs of attraction then you should end the conversation on a high.
“Well it was great talking to you but I have to go now and meet my friend, put your number in my phone and we can catch up again over a drink” This is only one example and you can use your own variation but the whole goal of the interaction was to make a good impression and put yourself in a situation where you can see her again.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.