Blog, Conversation, Relationship advice for men

How to be a good conversationalist with a girl

How to be a good conversationalist with a girl ,Hi Guys it’s Iain here and today I am going to talk about how to be a conversational master. The biggest issue that most guys have is what to say after they’ve approached a girl because usually, after a guy walks up to a girl to initiate a conversation, they end up running out of things to say.

When this happens the interaction usually goes downhill from there. So here are my top five tips which will help you to overcome this issue.

1. Frame Control

Frame control happens all the time when people are in conversations and essentially is about how the status of the person is lower, higher or equal to the person that they’re talking to.

This usually dictates how the conversation goes. It’s a very powerful factor and actually goes beyond conversations and controls how relationships between people progress. For example you will have a far different conversation with your boss than someone of a lower status than you, for example someone trying to sell you something over the phone.

The person of higher status almost always controls how the conversations goes. The same happens with a girl when most guys approach her especially if it’s in a bar where she’s used to being approached. The mentality is that she holds all the cards and has been making choices whether to entertain a guy all night if he were to approach her.

Therefore it’s important that as soon as you initiate conversation with her, that you flip the frame on her. Instead of giving her value based on how physically attractive she, imagine she’s trying to impress you instead. Act like you’re high in status and that YOU are making the choice.

This may sound alien to you at first but keep doing it until it becomes a habit. It is then that you will start to see a change in yourself in how you view women you’re attracted to.

2. Lead the conversation

Continuing on from my last point the person of higher status should always control and lead where the conversation goes and it’s easier than you think. Most guys find themselves jumping through the girl’s hoops and answering every question that she asks. A lot of the time they can be boring questions like where he is from and what he does for living.

Remember your status. If you were her boss, she would not be asking you these questions so you don’t have to answer every question that she asks you. So instead break her pattern of questions with a simple answer like “is this a job interview?” with a cheeky smile and then talk about something that you’re interested in that you can share with her and make a connection with in the process.

The more you become aware of this the better you will be able to break the normal pattern and bring the conversation on to topics that you want to talk about and more importantly, that you’re comfortable with. Iain Myles is an executive dating coach of Kamalifestyles.

He’s highly experienced in live training of our clients on streets, in bars and clubs. Iain teaches the core principles of the approach that every guy needs to know to become successful in dating. Leave a Comment letting us know what you think. If you enjoyed make sure you like, share and subscribe!

Hope you enjoy!

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Iain Myles

Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.

Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.

How to be a good conversationalist with a girl