Blog, Confidence, Conversation

How to be a conversation master

How to be a conversation master

How to be a conversation master

Next to approaching the biggest issue that most guys have is what to say after they have approached a girl because usually after a guy walks up to a girl to initiate a conversation, they end up running out of things to say and when this happens the interaction usually goes downhill from there.

This is a very common occurrence so what I will go through next is what mistakes most guys make and most importantly what they should be doing right instead.

Frame Control

Frame control happens all the time when people are in conversations with each other and essentially
it is about how the status of the person is lower, higher or equal to the person that they are talking to
and this usually dictates how the conversation goes.

This is a very powerful factor and it actually goes beyond conversations to control how relationships between people progress.

For example you will have a far different conversation with your boss than someone lower than you like someone trying to sell you something over the phone. The person of higher status almost always controls how the conversations goes.

(Here’s an awesome blog article on some general relationship advice: Relationship advice for men).

The same happens with a girl when most guys approach her especially if it is in a bar where she is used to being approached. The mentality is that she has all the cards and she has been making the choices all night whether to entertain a guy if he approaches her or not.

So it is important that as soon as you initiate conversation with her that you flip the frame on her. Instead of giving her value based on how physically attractive she, imagine that she is trying to impress you instead. Act like you are high in status and that you are making the choice.

This may sound alien to you at first but keep doing it until it becomes a habit and you will start to see a change in yourself in how you view hot women.

Lead the conversation

Continuing on from my last point the person of higher status should always control and lead where the conversation goes and it is easier than you think.

Most guys find themselves jumping through the girl’s hoops and answering every question that she asks and they are usually boring questions like where he is from and what he does for a living. Remember your status, if you were her boss, she would not be asking you these questions so you don’t have to answer every question that she asks you.
(Here’s another useful blog article for you on building your self-awareness through confidence: How to Build Unstoppable Confidence and Date the Women of your Dreams).

So instead break her pattern of questions with a simple answer like “is this a job interview?” with a smile and then then talk about something that you are interested in that you can share with her and make a connection with in the process.

The more you become aware of this the better you will be able to break her pattern and bring the conversation to topics that you want to talk about and comfortable with.

Always assume

How to be a conversation master

Another mistake most guys make is that they end up bombarding the girl with questions of where she is from and what she does for a living.

I have touched on this before and the conversation usually never goes anywhere as the girl ends up getting bored and walking away.

Instead make assumptions instead of asking questions, doing this will intrigue her and it doesn’t matter if you guess her nationality or occupation wrong because it is showing to her that you genuinely are interested in who she is as a person and everything that she tells you about herself can be used to take the conversation where you want to take it.

So always listen to what she talking about. Not only do women appreciate guys that actually make the effort to listen to what they are talking about but it will give you a great opportunity to make a great connection with her and increase your chances of seeing her again as a result.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

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Emre Ilkme

Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.

He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.