There is a likelihood of people falling for each other based on them seeing each other on a very regular basis. People tend to feel like they know each other and share a lot in common which causes them to initiate an instant attraction.
You have probably had your eye on one of the office damsels for a minute, what do you do now? There are very many factors that have to be considered before pursuing an office romance. The first thing you should be cautious about is company policy regarding any office entanglements.
Seeing where you lie on the side of the law will help you decide whether that office romance is something that you really want to do. Pursuing a relationship without considering HR might put both your jobs at risk. And no, you do not need to quit your job as a huge gesture to indicate your undying affection. The only thing you will reap from that is joblessness and a girl who thinks you’re stupid.
Now that you are sure about your company policy on canoodling among employees, you need to determine whether the relationship is worth pursuing from other aspects.
(Before you read on, I’d highly recommend you checking out my video below).
Let’s delve into the topic of ‘how to attract a girl from work without coming on too strong’.
Is It Worth It?
Office romances are tricky for several reasons. The first reason is that you are not sure the relationship will kick off and it might end up sour. Unfortunately, even if the relationship ends, you will still have to face each other every single day and act professionally. Some people have office romances that end in one or both of them resigning because the pressure of seeing each other every day was too much.
That’s right guys, it takes a lot of courage to grab the attention of that cubicle cutie, but it takes even more courage to commit to an office romance. Office romances offer a higher risk because most people term it a “practice marriage”. The relationship has to be reported to HR when things start to get serious, and the community (your coworkers) are constantly in your business.
(Do you want some awesome tips on how to attract girls? Here’s a FREE eBook for you: Get a Girl to Like You).
Your best bet is to keep things light and casual before you make the decision to date your coworker seriously. That means that you cannot go around being the office date buddy for every woman. That will quickly make you lose points with potential suitors and earn you a bad rep. Nobody will take you seriously and may kill your chances with the perfect girl before she comes along. Remember, an office romance is not necessary.
Take your time
Time is an important aspect to have in mind when you are looking to ask that office cutie out. You have all the time in the world to make your move, assuming none of you get fired. Fortunately, you can use this to your advantage so that you can establish a non-dimmable connection.
Take your time making your decision on whether you want to ask her out before you even think of making a move. When you make your decision, try and take things slowly so that she feels comfortable engaging you in that manner.
She is used to seeing you in a professional capacity and it would be easier for her to say yes when you ask her out if she sees more than that side. Pass by her desk more often than you usually do and keep things light when you are talking to her. Remember, you do not have to immediately tell her that you want her to be your girlfriend.
(Here’s another fantastic eBook with tips and tricks when dating beautiful women: Dating Hot Women).
The goal is to make a friend in the office even if she turns you down. Establishing a personal connection may be harder than you think. The office setting does not offer the most conducive environment for people to get to know each other. The stress of work and the hustle of getting through the day does not accommodate experimentation socially.
Make her laugh
We cannot stress this enough; women love to laugh! When a woman laughs around a guy a lot, she begins to look forward to interactions with him. Laughter is the best medicine for the soul, so when you add some color into her worn-out office routine, she will be sure to thank you.
The aim is to let her know that you are interested in making her smile or laugh. Whatever it is, you have to keep it light and keep your dating intentions to yourself until she feels the same. Even without knowing it, she will quickly decide whether she wants you to be a part of her daily routine.
If you are not sure whether your jokes and teasing have been making her feel great, all you need to do is observe her on the day you stop. If she comes over to your desk or tries to make contact with you, then it means that your advances are welcome. It may be difficult to establish whether a girl likes you, but they are usually very clear about how they feel when they don’t like you.
(I’d highly advise you check out this blog article for some extra insight: How to make a girl fall for you).
When she is constantly laughing around you, her mind tells her that you are a good vibe. This allows her to let her guard down when she is with you. Letting her guard down allows her to unmask who you are beyond the office space which subsequently leads to the start of an attraction. If she thinks your jokes are annoying, then she is not interested in making a connection bro.
Compliments really light up anyone’s day, and it is no different with that office fox. Women put in a lot of effort in the way they present themselves, unlike men. This means that even if she wore a plain outfit, she probably had to pick from five other plain outfits to find the right one. A lot of this effort usually goes unnoticed which is why compliments really light up their day.
Maybe the first thing you noticed about her was her hair, maybe it always looks good. That is a good place to start because you are being genuine. Genuine compliments usually resonate well with the person that is receiving them. Compliments that are not honest just don’t have the same effect.
When giving compliments, try your best to compliment her on something you believe in, because if you are not being honest, it will show. The compliment will look rushed and she will immediately put her guard up if she thinks you are lying. That is because she will think you are only complimenting her. After all, you are trying to hit on her.
(If you want to learn more about how to compliment the right way, check out this article: Best compliments to give a woman).
You do not have to compliment her on her looks alone, there are many other things that she is involved in so it is a good idea to focus on those as well. For example, if she has been doing an exceptional job at the workplace, let her know you see her efforts. Not only will it earn you points, but it will also boost her confidence, especially when she is around you.
When a woman is happy because you are complimenting her on things she has done, she automatically sees you as a supporter. If she feels like you are ready to support her success and celebrate her confidence, then she will feel safe with you and consider you romantically.
Give her space
If you are working in the same office, then the chances of running into each other are high. You do not want her to feel suffocated by you, so your best bet is to hang back and become rare. If you are constantly present in her physical space, she will start to feel suffocated by you.
Master the art of showing up at the right time and you will know almost immediately that she is excited to see you.
If you are constantly in her space, you may even start to notice her withdrawing from you. She may even have a disappointed expression on her face when she sees you turn a corner. If you are not eliciting responses of joy, then she is probably fed up with your face.
Giving her space also means that you have to keep your distance even if you are almost certain that she likes you.
If she likes you, she will appreciate your company, but if you are always available despite the workload you are both covering, it will come off as desperate and careless. Nobody wants to lose their job because they were wasting time chatting up a guy they could still see after work.
(To avoid coming off as desperate you need to work on your communication skills. This article may give you some ideas: Dating coach for men).
Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so reduce your office interactions to a few interactions and make your interactions outside the office intentional. This way, she will feel comfortable and not distracted in the workplace, and you will have time to get to know each other outside of work. Seeing you in controlled doses will definitely pique her interest.
Don’t move too fast even if you’ve known her forever, that is just her professional side. Working in the same office with your coworkers creates a sense of familiarity that is hard to understand. You feel as if you have known the person forever, but in a real sense, you barely know anything about each other.
An office interaction is usually functional, to say the least. That means that when you are interacting with your coworkers, it is usually for work-related reasons. When you interact with your coworker in such a capacity and frequently, then you are likely to feel as if you know her.
Your best bet is to take your time with the situation and act as if you are trying to know a completely different person. It is easy to assume you know a lot about a person from their desk, but failing to put in the groundwork to learn is plain ignorant.
(Confidence is such an important aspect of dating often overlooked. Read this to find out more: Confidence Course).
Sometimes it feels as if you have known the girl for a really long time and you are convinced that she is the one. Suddenly you are shocked you cannot visit her at her house because she has ten cats and you have a cat allergy. Taking things too fast is going to put undue pressure on both of you to make the relationship work.
You are likely to be harsher on yourself if the relationship fails within a workplace setting. Put one foot in the water to test it out before you establish a whole connection with them, only to break it because you did not put in time and effort. Unfortunately, office romances can be very sour in the end
Talk to her away from the workspace
Change the environment in which the both of you interact. This is important because, outside the office, she will be able to let her guard down and start to be herself. There is a lot of pressure within the office to act professionally so she is always having that in mind. If you let her express herself outside of a work setting then she is likely to see you in a different light as well.
Remember to keep it professional in the workspace. Even if that means avoiding her all day until the lunch break, then it might do you more favors when you meet outside the workplace. Remember, she knows that you are interested in her if you are asking for interactions outside the workplace, so if she is trying to keep it professional at work, respect that.
She knows that you are also trying to keep it professional so she will really value those outside office interactions. She is also trying to get to know you, so if she is actively interested in a side of you that is not work-related, she may feel the same way.
(When you’re outside with her you can seduce her. Here’s a great article for you: How to Seduce a Woman).
Talking to her outside the workplace also allows her to have her guard down because all the indicators that you are a coworker are no longer there. When you are at the office, it will be difficult for her to see you beyond your employment, but a fresh environment will get her interested in you.
Expect anything, even a rejection
When you spot a lady that you are attracted to in the office, many things could stand in the way of you two being together, and a rejection is one of those things. Remember, when you ask a coworker out, they already know that it might not go well. If she rejects you upfront, then you might want to be grateful for that.
A lot of office romances go sour and rejection can be viewed as a way to avoid any future awkwardness. You get rejected on a regular basis in the outside world and being rejected in the office should not be any different. Do not make her feel bad for saying no to you and don’t start acting strange around her because she turned you down.
Inducing a great work environment is important to the success of the company which is why most companies need to know about office romances. You already knew that her answer might be no, so do not act surprised when she decides she doesn’t want to engage you that way. She may be thinking of her future in the company, have a lot on her plate, or may not like you back the same way.
In the theme of expecting anything, you need to factor in other things that might happen when you ask your coworker out. One such thing is the involvement of other coworkers in your office romance. When you are in an office relationship, your coworkers are likely to initiate gossip around the subject which might be uncomfortable for the two of you.
(Don’t worry too much about the gossip, focus on winning her over. Here’s an incredibly useful article for that very purpose: How to get a girl to like you).
Another thing you might want to be prepared for is the commitment it takes to keep an office relationship running. Besides inviting HR to take a look at what kind of relationship the two of you have, separating work and home is essential. Striking the balance between your interactions in and out of the office is difficult for most people and the best advice is to leave your relationship in the parking lot before going to work.
Can you attract a girl without coming on too strong?
The answer is yes, there is a familiarity that lies in seeing someone every day, which is why office romances are so common. However, there are a lot of strings that come tied to having an office romance and they have to be factored in before you make your big move.
You need to bring your A-game and shock her even though she has seen you for a very long time and practically feels as if she knows you. That is why you need to have a life outside work; so that you have something to show her that will let her know that she is speaking to a different guy. If you want to go for a girl in the office, don’t be shy, get your confidence levels to a high, and subtly pull it off!
Hope this answers the question of how to attract a girl from work without coming on too strong.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.