Approach Women, Blog, Conversation

How to ask a girl out over text

Every guy is likely to agree that this is the most desired way of asking a girl out. The reason being, besides reducing the approach anxiety, if she rejects the offer, the humiliation isn’t as bad as doing it in person.

Texting also allows you to read the mood from how she responds to your texts before you ask her out. Her engagement in your conversation speaks volumes about how she feels about you.

Nevertheless, asking a girl out over a text is not child’s play. Most guys get turned down because they don’t know how to approach the girl. However, some ladies might take this in a cowardly way.

It takes courage to approach a girl in person and ask her out without being assured of a yes but that shouldn’t limit you from doing it over text. After all, times are changing and technology has made communication faster, easier and with busy schedules, texting is ideal to make plans so go for it.

In this article, we explore the best ways on how to ask a girl out over text to achieve a guaranteed yes.

1.   Capture her attention through the opening message

Be tactful in your approach and impress her with the text. The goal is to have her attention and interest in reply.

After all, the first impression matters a lot. If you just met, first remind her who you are and then you can apply the tips we’ll discuss, on the best ways to go about the opening message.

  • Be playful- don’t be overly serious, you might appear boring to her. Girls like someone who can make them smile so have a good time while talking to her.
  • Keep it light. Don’t ruin a good thing coming your way by jumping into the question. You might put pressure on her without realizing it. Take your time to talk about random things until you are comfortable with her.
  • Wait until she responds. Sending one message after another might make you appear desperate. That is not the picture to create so give her time to respond first before going on to the next thing
  • Keep the texts going till you can converse. Don’t leave it at the greetings, show interest.

2.    Ask relevant questions while texting

Building a conversation that will make the girl curious about you can make her get interested in you. It will make your process to ask her out over text easy.

The questions you ask while chatting subtly shows the girl what you are interested in. Asking the relevant questions can make you relevant to the girl you want.

(I’d highly advise you read this: How to keep a conversation going with a girl).

Gauge the girl’s personality to determine how to approach the conversation. If she’s bold, she’ll make it easy for you to explore wide and daring topics. But if she’s reserved or shy, ask her about topics she’s well aware of like her interest.

Don’t rush with the questions. Some of the questions you can ask her are about her day, aspirations, goals, and things she does for fun. It gives you an idea while planning for your date.

3.    Feel the mood

Rely on the responses she gives to analyze her moods over the phone. Only when the fun is there should you ask a girl out. If a girl is excited to talk to you, you’d know.

Don’t second guess your instincts for the fear of rejection. If she’s bubbly and engages you properly, it means she likes you.

Look out for certain signs to know if she likes you enough to accept a date;

Her speed in replying. A girl that takes too long to text you back might not like you that much. No matter how busy someone is, they make time for people that deserve it or ask to catch up later.

The length of her texts. You can sense the interest of a person through how she responds to your texts. If the texts are mostly one word and full of unanswered questions, it might be time to take a step back. Put effort where it is appreciated.

Texting is the best way to know if she likes you despite the inability to read her body language. It is easier to fake interest in person while face-to-face than when they can’t see you.

4.    Connect with her

You can easily connect with a person while texting by exploring individual likes and learning what you have in common. You might realize how alike you both are. Be interesting to talk to and make her look forward to talking to you.

A good connection might take time to achieve but once you get it, it will be so easy to ask her out.

(This article’s a must read: How to approach a girl).

Here are some tips to connect with a girl:

  • Talk about your interests. You might discover your interests align with each other. Ask her things she likes to do with her free time. This will give you insights when planning for a date.
  • Talk about goals and aspirations. Ask her about her dreams and goals for the future and share yours too. She will read your interest in her life which might be a good thing.
  • Keep it short. Don’t bore her with long and meaningless conversations by asking about everything. Focus on one thing and at a time. When you have created the right connection, then you can talk more.

After creating a connection, let the girl know how you feel. It would be rude to make her feel connected to you and not say a thing. When she knows you like her, she will gladly accept to be your date.

5.    Use the right language

How to ask a girl out over text is dependent on how charming you are over text. It is amazing how with the right language you’re capable of winning a girl’s heart. Women prefer being loved and respected. Incorporating that into texts guarantees you a date.

Avoid using vulgar words especially while complimenting her. Let a girl know how much respect you have for her to get yourself in her good book. Being vulgar seems like you are all about getting her pants down.

Choose words that are precise and clear. Avoid complicating topics and using big words, you might come off as a showoff. You’re trying to please her not educate her by making her go back to the dictionary.

Be yourself. A fake personality is easily identified. The last thing you want is her seeing through your ‘bullshit’ so be as real as possible. Nothing good can come out of being all lies so let her like you for you.

You cannot predict a girl through texting so avoid saying things that might put her off. One minute a girl might be laughing with you using the best emojis but you could ruin it by saying something stupid.

6.    Make her laugh

Put the normal texting aside and uniquely connect with her by making her laugh. Ladies like a man that can put a smile on their face. While this is not an easy thing to achieve over text due to misinterpretation, it is important to know how to do it.

Consider creating inside jokes over time. If you have been talking for a while now, you have already learned what gets her cracking with laughter.

(In case you’re interested in dominating the dating apps: How to get more matches on tinder).

Also, smiley faces can help you portray emotions over what you’re talking about instead of the actual face.
Be humorous in your conversation. Simple jokes are good to go by but avoid overdoing it.

7.    Pay attention to her likes

Take advantage of this moment to learn more about her. The best way to do this is by avoiding too much self-talk.

She doesn’t want to listen to you rant about how good you’re at this and that. Take advantage to learn more about her likes.

(Some advice for those of you who have been out of the dating scene for a while: How to start dating).

Ask her about her hobbies and her wishes. Knowing what she fancies doing with her free time might help you while planning for a date. Besides paying attention to her likes, ask her about her day and plans. Let her know that your interest in her goes deep.

8.    Get flirty with her

Building even stronger connections makes it harder for a lady to resist your charms. When you have mastered the art of flirting, it becomes easy to let the lady know your intentions without having to directly tell them.

How you make a woman feel will give you more power to achieve your goal. Women are emotional beings so utilize that to your best advantage.

Build a sexual tension that leaves her wanting more from you. This doesn’t mean that you concentrate on sexual talks, NO; it means that you’ll have a better shot in taking her out if she already feels the sexual connection.

(Learn how to seduce like a pro: How to Seduce a Woman).

Tips to go about this include;

  • Compliment her- if you have already met, let her know you appreciate her by giving her genuine compliments. Do not focus more on her body, you could tell her you love her personality by not snubbing you the first time you approached her.
  • Ask playful questions. At times, it is good to let caution go and ask something that you’re sure will interest her.
  • Stay positive. Let her feel your confidence in having a shot with her. Be cheerful and let the vibe flow.

9.    Come up with an idea for a date have a plan

It is wise to be prepared when trying to figure out how to ask a girl out over text. It would be such a turn-off to accept a date with a guy who doesn’t know what plans he has put in place.

Girls like it best when a man has everything planned so tell her you to have it planned out. When you’re on top of things better be prepared for a positive reply.

The best thing to do is to have several choices in place and seek opinion on the best of them since you might not know her feelings about the plan you have made.

10.    Ask her out in a subtle way

Have you been talking for a while and already feel comfortable talking to her, this might be the right time to pop the question. Tell her you’d like to take her out on a date and outline the plans you have for her.

(If you prefer making female friends you should read this: How to make female friends).

It would be good for her to know that you had already thought out plans. This will make her more excited about it than if you later ask her what she’d like to do for fun. Also, avoid making the date so sudden; give her time to get ready. Women love looking good so it’s only best if you give her a few days to be prepared.

Final take

How to ask a girl out over text might seem like an easy thing to do but facing a rejection might not be easy to experience. While you might overcome it quickly, having to wonder what you did wrong is the worst. It is best to learn how best to make a girl say yes to a date.

Nevertheless, remain true to yourself to increase the chance of finding a girl that complements who you are as a person.

Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?

Reach out to me today if you’d like some highly effective 1-on-1 Dating Training: CONTACT US

Emre Ilkme

Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.

He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.