Gathering up the courage to approach new people can seem like a nightmare. It is even harder if the person you’re gathering the courage for, is a girl you have been having your eyes on and you are not sure of her response.
Most men fear being rejected with the woman they show interest in. That gives most men anxiety to figure out the steps to take to avoid disappointments.
Although women are different and that demands a unique approach, there are some sneaky ways that you can get the woman you desire.
In this blog, you’ll explore some foolproof techniques of how to approach a girl.
1. Develop a plan
Approaching a girl physically is the main part of the approach process. You might want to develop a plan since lack of planning can build tensions at the exact moment you want to make an impression. Put your mind to gaining her attention by having a proper self-introduction.
Some ways towards developing a proper plan include:
- Practicing your approach strategy on your friends. Use your friends to demonstrate how a proper introduction should look like.
- Be confident, stay calm and calmly talk to her. Even though you’re likely to be tense, try hard to show your confidence level in yourself. Remind yourself that you can do it and do it.
- Have good communication skills. It is not what you say that matters; it is how you say it. Use the right language and say the right things.
2. Observe her surrounding
If you aren’t informed about the right technique to go by before approaching a girl, you might rush into it. This is likely to be a huge mistake. Take your precious time to figure out her environment. It takes guts to approach a stranger so you need to take a breath to be in the right state of mind.
• Is the lady surrounded by people or alone?
• Is she busy concentrating on what’s going on in her surroundings?
When you are thinking of how to approach a girl, you have to consider her location. A person’s location should guide you on whether to approach or not.
If she is at an event or class, she’s likely to be more occupied with what is going on around her. Therefore, if her surroundings are busy, avoid approaching her but if things are calm, go get the girl.
3. Be open-minded
It doesn’t matter the effort you’ve incorporated before approaching. It is not a guarantee that the girl will look your way. If she rejects you, it means she might not have liked you, be okay with that though.
(Perhaps you could try online dating: How to get more matches on tinder).
How to approach a girl is a menace to most guys because they fear the outcome. Being open-minded is about gracing the outcome with positivity and moving on. This means approaching situations with the thought anything can happen.
If the outcome doesn’t favor you, be okay with it and be encouraged to meet more people. Don’t overthink a rejection and you’ll not want to bother the lady into changing her mind. You should know that succeeding is no guarantee, some days you win, others you lose so focus on meeting more people.
4. Look out for the Go signal
There is a ‘right’ time when figuring how to approach a girl. Before you tell yourself about how you’re going to approach a girl, think about the right time to do this.
Timing plays a major role in influencing her response; you don’t want to approach her when her mood is off. Wrong timing will get you ignored while the right time will favor you.
(A great article on how to make friends with the opposite sex: How to make female friends).
Some tips on what to look out for before making the move are;
- Her body language. Does she appear to be in a hurry or is she seated and calm? Approaching her when she’s seated and calm is likely to earn you an audience.
- Observe her mood. If she appears sad and grumpy, chances are she’s having a bad date and would rather be alone. Approaching her in this mood isn’t a good idea. However, if she appears to be full of spirit, happy, and excited, you’ll likely be lucky.
- Her facial expression. Have you tried smiling at her? What was her reaction? If she smiles back at you, it is the right time to go get your girl.
5. Smile at her
The best seducers are those that give hints without actually giving hints. Make the girl think that she was the one who coerced you to approach her and rejection will not be an option.
The best way to do this is to smile at a girl first then not approach her instantly. Constant glances and smiles will soften her heart so much that she will be eagerly waiting for the time you will approach.
When someone smiles at you for the first time and you do not know what their intentions are, you will smile back. A smile back from the girl is a clear sign that she appreciates you smiling at her.
After she smiles back at you, don’t approach immediately, and make her consume what just happened first. The smile followed by random unplanned glances might intrigue her and give her clear intention that you are into her.
She will start glancing back and when the eyes meet, it will blow her mind off. Keeping in mind that ladies are emotional beings, they will see it as fate and nothing is more promising than knowing what the unknown future holds.
6. Pay attention to her vibe
The approach should be at a mutual ground for better chances of success. Her vibe will give you signals before you make the next move. In other words, make the girl like you by giving her signs that you are approaching and consent to the approach even before the actual approach.
(New to the dating scene? Read this: How to start dating).
The best way to make this happen is by making the girl notice you without making it so obvious that you are attracting her. First study her, know her vibe, understand what she likes doing and where she spends her time. This makes you choose the right setting and method.
For instance, if the girl likes interacting with funny people, present yourself as a character and let her be the judge. However, do not crack jokes at her directly since it will make it so obvious that you are trying to impress her.
7. Approach confidently
Be yourself. Have confidence and lack pride. In a world where looks are everywhere, confidence fills in the gap.
Confident people appear to be more attractive and the best part is that you can practice increasing your confidence if you think you are not confident enough for the girl you are approaching.
(Another incredible article for you to read: How to get girls to like you).
Simple steps to gain confidence when approaching a girl to include:
Think positively about yourself. Hype yourself up. This will make you feel better about yourself hence building confidence.
- Put in mind that the girl is not perfect either. Just because a girl is beautiful doesn’t certainly make her flawless or perfect. She also has her flaws. This will stop you thinking that she is the highest and unapproachable and make you think of her as an equal hence easy to approach.
- Realize you are not alone. Put in mind that even the most confident guys you see were in your shoe at one point in their lives. No one is born a natural. Knowing that everyone struggles in such areas will boost you up and reduce the fear of failure.
- Speaking slowly and clearly will help bring out the confidence in you. Also, use certain eye contact and self-assured body language. Lastly, dress and smell well.
8. Give purpose to the conversation
You will be judged by how and what you choose to talk about. Communicating effectively should be your main focus. Let her see that you are funny and intelligent without making her feel less.
(Learn how to draw in her attention and interest: How to get a womans attention).
Some tips to consider in ensuring that your conversation has a purpose:
- Avoid exaggerating your compliments. Give simple and genuine compliments at first. Saying too many praises might come off as exaggerations. Also, look beyond her beautiful face and sexy body.
- Talk about things that you can both relate to. Things like individual interest open room for a lot to discuss.
- Practices turn to talk while conversing. Monopolizing the conversation will leave her feeling disregarded. A good conversation happens when two or more people share ideas.
9. Suggest the need to see her again
You have made the move and you think you might have a shot with her, tell her you’d like to see her again. If you impress her, she’ll like you enough to look forward to spending more time with you. Telling a girl your wish to see her again gives her something to look forward to.
The approach you take in this will also determine whether she agrees or not. Asking for another date this soon might make you look like you are taking things too fast or you’re so excited about being around her.
You should consider approaching her for the latter reason. Let her know how you feel and make her want you just as much through your approach.
10. Respect her decision
You have done everything the right way from making the conversation interesting, paying attention to her but still, she’s holding back on you, she might not be interested. She might not tell you this to your face, she expects you to read the signs.
(I’d highly recommend you read this: How to move on from a toxic relationship).
If she fails to recognize your efforts, take this as a sign and let go. A lady will show you the sign of interest if she agrees to hear you out. Do not let rejection get the worst out of you, if she turns you don’t, just smile at her and tell her she was worth the effort.
Let her know that you respect her mature decision and that you wouldn’t mind if she chooses to change her mind.
With the right tips, approaching a girl isn’t as hard as it is made to appear. Knowing the do’s and don’ts while making a move on a girl will help you prevent silly mistakes that will have you dismissed. Courage and being real are the two major ways to earn you her time.
However, avoid making her feel like she has control over you. If she toys with you, let her go. A girl that is interested in talking to you doesn’t make it hard for you to get her.
I do hope this article has given you some ideas on how to approach a girl.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.