Terence met Lucy at a work function. He liked her a lot and, at the end of the evening, asked her for her number, intending to ask her out as soon as possible. He fought his nerves and phoned her the next day, but the attraction that he thought was there the night before seemed to have disappeared.
He invited her to dinner and she turned him down. This wasn’t the first time Terence had been rejected by someone when he believed he had a good chance of dating her. He lacked confidence with women and decided to remedy this by completing a Kamalifestyles dating course.
To gain confidence with women, Terence’s Kamalifestyles coach worked with him to change his body language and tone of voice to project an aura of confidence. Women find strong,
confident men attractive and his lack of confidence meant that they saw him as no more than friend material. Once they had his non-verbal and verbal communication under control, his coach gave him some pointers for future dates.
The steps Terence’s Kamalifestyles coach pointed out to gain confidence were very simple.
If you’re nervous around a woman, tell her. A little nervousness will make you seem endearing since you’re showing her your emotional depth. Turn it into a compliment by telling her that she’s so attractive that she’s making you nervous. Chances are that she’s nervous too and this kind of admission will make her feel more comfortable. Admitting you’re nervous makes you face your nervousness and own your emotions, allowing you to take control once again.
(Ultimately it comes down to how strong your mindset is. Read this for some guidance: Mindset Coaching).
Make sure your body language is showing confidence, especially when you’re not feeling it. You’ll make yourself believe that you are confident and gain confidence with women Sit up straight with your shoulders back and relax. The rest will come naturally.
Make her do the talking. Ask a lot of questions and allow her to talk about herself. Women love good listeners and it takes the pressure off you to keep her engaged. You’re showing an interest in her while keeping an air of mystery and getting to know her better will allow you to relax in her company.
Use humor to make both of you relaxed and comfortable. Laughter brings people together and a shared sense of humor is important in any relationship.
Take her somewhere where you’re comfortable. Confidence with women comes more easily in a comfortable setting where you feel at home. You’re in control of your own environment, making you more confident without even trying. If there’s a specific park you enjoy, take her for a walk there.
Avoid being too cocky or giving off an aura of false confidence. If she thinks you’re fake it could be a turn-off for her. Show confidence, but don’t be scared to show your real feelings too. Women are emotional creatures and need an emotional connection.
(I’d advise you to work on your confidence to be able to stand up to your partner: Confidence Pillars).
Terence started using the tips on gaining confidence with women he had learned during his Kamalifestyles training and soon it became second nature. Luckily for Terence, he met Lucy again. The change in him was so noticeable that she complimented him on his new outlook and attitude.
He’d learned how to create attraction and intimacy, and how to keep a woman’s interest. This time, when he called, Lucy eagerly agreed to go out with him. For their first date, he took her for a walk along his favorite street dotted with antique stores, second-hand bookshops, and coffee shops.
It was a familiar space and they spent the afternoon browsing and chatting. Terence’s training on gaining confidence with women gave him the chance to get to know a woman he sees as his perfect partner.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.