First Dates can be a fear filled experience or they can be one of the strongest parts of your game. Once again, one of the most important things you must achieve is to get your anxiety completely down to zero.
This is very possible and can be achieved quiet easily. If you have completed the 30 day approach anxiety challenge, then you will have eliminated almost all of your anxiety and the next step is perfect your actual plan for first dates. Firstly let us address what not to do on a first dates.
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One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a guy is to bring a girl for dinner on a first date. There are several reasons why this is never a good idea.
The first is the bill. Who pays and if you allow her to pay for half, do you look cheap? Alternatively, if you pay for it all, will she take you for granted and expect you to pay for everything from now on. You set a precedent on the first date as regards payment and this can be difficult to break.
Also if you pay for it all, you will be down at least £60 – £80 and chances are you will put her under pressure to give you something in return. Other people choose the cinema for the first date. Obviously this is a bad idea because you cannot speak to the other person for at least 2 hours of your date, and a first date should be all about getting to know the other person. The cinema also presents the payment option problem once again.
Do you pay for the popcorn and her ticket or just the ticket?
In short the perfect idea for a first date is to invite her for a few drinks to your favorite bar. It is a place you are very comfortable in and, as it’s your favorite, it will trigger many positive memories that will help to put you in state.
You will probably know the bouncers and staff and this will also serve to increase your value. Arrive early and get a good seat, where you are not directly facing her. She will probably arrive 5 – 10 minutes late, just to be fashionable. When she arrives, greet her and show her to her seat. Ask her what she wants to drink.
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Always buy the first drink. When the waitress comes down to take your order for the second drink, wait for her to offer to pay. If she doesn’t seem to make any effort simply say to her “Will I cover these or…?”
In this day and age, there is no way you should pay for everything so she will probably offer to pay for the send drink and then you can go rounds after that, with her paying for every second drink.
By this you have established the precedent for paying and then if you go for dinner on a later date, you can easily split the bill or if you choose to pay, then she will not take it for granted and will appreciate it.
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Iain Myles is an internationally recognised dating coach and co-owner of the UK’s largest dating coaching company, Kamalifestyles. Iain is also an internet sensation thanks to the multiple viral videos posted through the YouTube channel KamaTV, which has grossed over 100 million views.
Iain has appeared in numerous newspaper columns and radio shows across the world. He is a regular contributor to BBC Radio in the UK.