Let’s cut to the chase.
If you are reading this blog, you’ve probably experienced a decent conversation with a woman turning into a bitter pill to swallow in a matter of seconds, and you didn’t know why…
But her becoming cold is not the hard part.
The hard part is trying to figure out what you probably said that turned her off.
Our lives revolve around constant communication.
You have to say what you want, and people will also tell you what they need. But what makes communication with women different? Is there a language that women understand?
Men and women approach dating and relationships different, which makes our dating and relationship languages a bit different.
Most men are more inclined towards physical intimacy while most women towards emotional security. Although women also desire physical intimacy but emotional security supersedes it.
It’s the different desires between men and women that can make you make a conversation mistake that will turn a woman off without knowing it.
We did a survey with 1000 women, and 90% of the women admitted to being turned off by a guy during a conversation. 90% also admitted that they would give a guy a chance based on the conversation they have.
However, the challenging thing is that most guys are not conscious of the conversation mistakes they do.
But worry no more!
By the end of this blog, you’ll understand the common conversation mistakes that most guys make in a conversation and how to overcome them.
1. Trying to impress the woman too hard
Most men make the woman they approach the prize.
That means that the better part of the conversation they will be trying to prove themselves to the woman they’ve approached. That’s the first conversation mistake that most guys make before they even start talking.
We meet different personalities every day, and when you meet a person the first thing that you do subconsciously is program your mind to speak in a manner that seems appropriate for that particular person.
When you are talking to a woman you’ve placed on a pedestal, you will assume an inferior mindset because anything the woman says, goes, as you don’t want to disappoint or anger her.
While it might seem like a good idea to let the woman have her way in a conversation, it’s really not. On the contrary, women are turned off by guys that try too hard to impress them in a conversation.
The conversation will portray you as a guy that lacks confidence and self-esteem. These are undesirable traits that most women won’t want to deal with.
How you approach the conversation will determine how it goes. Build a strong mindset that will give you the confidence you need to be the prize in a conversation.
When you are yourself in a conversation, you challenge the woman’s boundaries and beliefs. You show her how you see things and, in a way, it also communicates your value.
The woman will start making little compromises in the conversation to keep it going. That’s when the magic happens.
“The more leash the woman allows you, the stronger the attraction between you grows.”
You don’t need to play a woman’s tune to attract her.
She knows that you are a different person and you’ll differ in more than one way. When you try too hard, it puts your authenticity to question, and doubt is an attraction killer.
Here’s how to build a confident mindset before approaching a woman:
● Make peace that the conversation might not give you the outcome you desire.
● Appreciate your value by looking at yourself as the prize.
● Overcome the fear of rejection.
● Know what you are willing to give and what equal measure you are willing to take during the conversation.
● Lower the stakes by approaching the woman for a fun interaction rather than a dating proposal.
2. You are not escalating
The dynamics of conversations vary depending on so many variables.
Beautiful women are used to men approaching them. So, when you approach a beautiful woman in a casual and friendly way, she will assume that you are interested in her.
Women want men as much as men want women. When you approach a woman, she starts building expectations depending on how you’ve approached her.
However, the fear of rejection or sending the wrong message makes most guys play neutral for too long. That’s a blunder because the longer you wait to escalate, the harder it will be.
Women mostly interpret the delay in escalation as a lack of interest, which forces them to retreat their emotions from the conversation.
The challenge comes because as she withdraws, she also builds a wall. Once her wall is up it will put you on the defensive, and that’s how you find yourself trying too hard to impress the woman.
Escalation is a crucial spice when it comes to building attraction and giving the conversation the edge it needs to impress women.
“The conversation becomes more intense and personal as you escalate.”
It pushes women to invest more emotions and personal details in the conversation, which is useful to pick up the woman you desire.
Yet, the real challenge that most guys face with escalation is timing. When you escalate too fast, you’ll scare off the woman, and if you delay, she’ll lose her interest.
However, that will not be a problem if you know how to use nonverbal cues to test escalation. Using nonverbal cues gives you room to bounce back in the conversation or plausible deniability in case she is not ready.
Here are techniques to help you determine when to escalate:
▪ Kino escalation: Women are very sensitive with who they allow to touch them. Breaking the touch barrier is an indicator that the woman is ready for escalation.
▪ Use innuendos: Using innuendos allows for plausible deniability, which will prevent you from being trapped in the conversation.
▪ Reverse psychology: Start an escalation and pin it on her. You’ll face less resistance when you attach the escalation to something the woman has done or doing.
Escalation puts you and the woman you desire on the same page as it sheds light on your intention.
The woman will be turned off with the conversation if she has to keep guessing whether you are into her or not.
3. Letting the woman lead the conversation
Most women love the thrill of being chased
They know how to play coy so that you can surge forward with the force they desire. It’s just the natural way of things.
Most women will play coy and let you chase, but most men never seem to get this memo. The woman will speak less to test your will and determine your intentions.
However, most men take the back seat and let the woman lead the conversation because they are afraid to piss her off.
That right there is a conversation executioner!
Women are attracted to men who can lead because it makes them feel emotionally secure of the unknown.
Immediately the woman realizes that you have taken the passenger seat, her attraction towards you starts fading. She’ll feel like she’s auditioning for you, and most women don’t want to look that desperate especially if you have met for the first time.
The woman is likely to trap you in the conversation if you let her take the lead.
Setting the course which the conversation takes is essential to getting the woman you desire.
As a guy, you set the pace at which you want the conversation to take. It gives you the chance to control the emotions, which are explored in the chat because you’ll be the one introducing and transitioning the topics during your interaction.
It also becomes easy to escalate things in the conversation when you are in control. You can see an opportunity and use it to push for your desire.
But it’s also important to remember that women don’t like being controlled.
The best way to take control of the conversation is to make your influence seem as subtle as possible. It looks like deceiving the woman, but the other options play against you.
Here are some techniques that can help you lead the conversation:
▪ Determine what the woman wants and place yourself in a position that she will know you are the one to give her what she wants.
▪ Control the emotions in the conversation. Balancing desirable and undesirable emotions in a conversation will make the woman feel connected to you, and that will lower her guard.
▪ Use the power of nonverbal cues and body language to establish dominance in the conversation. For example, maintaining a proper body posture and eye contact can make you seem confident and intelligent.
▪ Use hooks and bridging techniques to navigate through various topics that favor your endgame in the conversation.
4. Being too pinned on the outcome
You know what you want to achieve at the back of your mind when you approach a woman.
It’s crucial not to lose sight of your goal in a conversation, but it can also play against you when you are too focused on achieving your goal.
Conversations are not precise chemical formulas.
You can go off track, come back, and still get what you desire. You’ll be too rigid in the conversation if your sole purpose is to achieve your goal.
Most men get too consumed with getting the woman they’ve approached that they are willing to do anything to get her. At this point, your goal becomes your enemy. You lose your bargaining power in the conversation.
You’ll try too hard to impress the woman no matter the cost. The process can make you talk too much about yourself, which is a turn off for most women.
You are susceptible to not noticing or ignoring the woman’s signals when you are fixed on the goal.
People have tell-tale signs when they are not comfortable in a conversation. These signs are crucial for a progressive conversation because it tells us what the other person feels, and we can match or tone down to be on the same page.
Women get turned off with guys who don’t read their nonverbal cues and other signals.
Although taking your mind off the goal can make you lose track in the conversation, there are techniques that you can use to achieve your goal without thinking of it too much.
Here’s how you achieve your goal in a conversation with a woman without focusing on it:
▪ Develop a genuine interest in the woman. You’ll know more about her, which will give you an idea of how to get what you want.
▪ Enjoy the process, and the outcome will follow. You’ll become more mysterious and interesting when you enjoy the thrill of the process, which will attract the woman more.
▪ Understand that things might not go your way. That will allow you to pull back safely when the woman shows signs of lack of interest in you.
5. Unleashing your interrogation skills
I once met a woman that made our conversation seem like I was applying for a CEO position.
She asked so many questions that I felt like I should have come with supporting documents to back up my story.
Women get turned off in conversations with men that ask too many questions.
Hold that thought.
Women are attracted to men that are genuinely interested in them, and asking questions is the easiest way to find more about a person.
However, when it comes to talking to the woman you desire, that’s a technique that won’t work.
You’ll seem intrusive because there are questions that we ask to know about a woman, but the rapport we’ve built is not sustainable enough for a woman to disclose what you want.
The woman will build emotional walls immediately when she feels you are intrusive. It will become harder to get her back and build a connection.
You: “So, what do you do?”
Her: “I am a nurse.”
You: “Wow, that’s nice. Where?”
Her: “The hospital three blocks away.”
You: “Nice. So, you live around here?”
Asking questions back-to-back is what will make the woman feel overwhelmed.
Instead of firing questions like a trivia contest, here are ways you can know more about a woman without appearing intrusive:
▪ Share your story and let the woman do the same. When you say what you do, she will be inclined to also tell you what she does.
▪ Build her confidence in the conversation by showing your vulnerable side. She’ll show you her vulnerability willingly.
▪ Use her words as hooks and bridging phrases to know more about the woman.
Would you like to become a conversation master with women?
There are so many conversation mistakes that men make while talking to women without knowing that we could not cover in one blog.
You can better understand how to have a progressive conversation with women and score them by grabbing a free copy of my brand new Conversation Secrets eBook.
We also have so many programs and materials that can help you sharpen your conversation skills and become a master in your game.
Our comprehensive conservation programs are designed to get you what you want with a few words. You’ll get to know the secrets that most guys that are successful with women use to start, develop and end a conversation with the woman they want.
There’s a simple way to hold conversation with women when you know what to look for.
Women are different and the biggest conversation mistake you can do is applying the same conversation structure to all women you approach.
Don’t forget that.