Being Selfish In A Positive Way
I mentioned in one of my previous articles that being selfish is actually good. When you usually hear the word being mentioned it is usually associated with negativity or having a bad trait.
In some ways it is but in many ways it is not. To be selfish is to want something bad enough that you will always put yourself before others. But it is only when you look after yourself first that you can then look after others that matter in your life.
Keeping in touch with your goals
Being selfish in a positive way means that you want to achieve a goal that will benefit you in a positive way that will help others in the long run.
If you are always aware of this it will make your goals and wants more achievable because otherwise if it does not agree with your morals and values then all you will do is create conflict within yourself.
If you see a girl and you are thinking whether you should approach her or not this conflict is usually caused because you are not fully in touch with yourself. And this is one of the main reasons behind approach anxiety.
So always ask yourself what you want from approaching her and what she could gain from it as well. If you are at peace with this then you will find it far easier to approach her and you will find it harder to care or worry about what she or others that are maybe watching might think of you.
(Perhaps you just want to move on from the relationship. If so, then read this: How to move on from a toxic relationship).
Everyone is selfish
The thing is that everyone is selfish but the only difference between you and other people is that you are being more honest in yourself and in what you want.
Any guy that may laugh at your misfortune if you approached a girl and it did not go as well as you would have hoped has the same feelings and wants as you except you have the courage and openness to take what you want. And women will appreciate this honesty from you.
I remember being out with a client during the day in Leicester Square and a girl asked him when he stopped her what did he want from her and he got all flustered and it ruined the conversation with her. He did this because he was afraid to be honest with her in his intentions.
Women want honesty
This is one of the reasons that so many guys can’t get a girlfriend because they are afraid to take what they want because they worry that people might think that they are bad or selfish.
Think about it your life is about your relationships with the people in your life such as your family, friends and work life.
A relationship is about two or more people that are connected with each other, for example a marriage is about two people that are in a relationship to gain something from each other like love, intimacy and security. Relationships are essentially about giving and taking from both person.
(Accepting your control is limited plays hand-in-hand with your level of confidence. Reading this article will certainly help: Confidence Course).
Being Selfish In A Positive Way
So be true and open with yourself and her on whether you want sex, a relationship or both. This is what defines an alpha male and what women want in a man, someone that is not afraid to be open in what he wants in life and does not feel guilty or care what other people might think of him.
And when you practice this mind-set you will not care on how to make a girl like you as it will happen naturally.
Do you want to drastically improve your dating life?
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Emre is author, dating coach and CEO founder of Kamalifestyles. He has written books which sold thousands of copies over a decade. Emre trained and coached many clients from all over the world and men of all ages on how to improve their confidence, relationships and dating.
He has expertise in confidence, approach and attraction and has been featured in top newspapers and radios. He is passionate on helping his clients to achieve great outcomes and make sure they are not held back by the limitations.