The Mystery Method


Dave spent every weekend out with the lads. He was getting tired of being single, but his chat up lines didn’t seem to work. He had to have a couple of drinks to build up the courage to talk to women and didn’t feel comfortable trying to meet anyone in places other than bars or clubs. Once he felt able to talk to a woman he found attractive, he was usually slurring and not as witty as he thought.

Dave realised that it was time for him to break the cycle. He decided to approach Kama Lifestyles for dating advice. His coach told him that anyone could learn to be attractive to women and explained the three cornerstones and nine steps of the Mystery Method. This method is based on three phases, namely creating attraction, creating comfort, and seduction, with three steps to each phase.

  1. The opener. Dave’s Kama Lifestyles coach showed him how to use a hook, or opener, to grab the woman’s attention. He learned to approach someone he’s interested in within three seconds – waiting any longer would make him nervous and he’d look stale in her eyes. An opener is a line that engages women on an emotional level, often asking their opinion. Relationships, social dynamics and pop culture are effective topics.
  2. The second step of the Mystery Method involves Dave showing higher value than other men by being confident, strong and at an equal or higher social level. His Kama Lifestyles coach taught him how to use touch and body language to create attraction. Once she shows signs of interest, it’s time for the final step in this phase.
  3. Once Dave has the woman’s attention and she’s attracted to him, it’s time for him to show her that he’s attracted to her based on something other than looks, by asking questions and giving (deserved) compliments.


  1. Dave’s Kama Lifestyles coach showed him how to engage women in conversation while keeping an air of fun and excitement, and keeping them emotionally interested. During this step, rapport is built and a connection established to allow Dave to move on to creating a feeling of connection.
  2. This step takes place over time, usually the first few dates. Both people need to feel that they’re moving in the right direction and kissing helps to reinforce the connection and attraction.
  3. This must be created at the seduction location, for example Dave’s living room. Creating intimacy too early could make the woman defensive as she doesn’t want to be seen as a slut. She knows that going home with Dave will lead to sex, but might prefer a more subtle approach.


  1. Dave’s Kama Lifestyles coach explained that beginning the physical escalation to sex too soon could lead to feelings of remorse in the woman. Building a relationship takes patience and taking things slow will better his chances of a stronger relationship.
  2. Last-Minute Resistance. This is the point of no return for women and some freak out. Dave’s coach gave him some pointers on dealing with this in a non-threatening way that would enable him to return to this point later if he needs to.
  3. Sex cements the relationship and levels the playing field.

Using the Mystery Method Dave learned from his Kama Lifestyles dating coach, he felt confident enough to approach women outside of bars, while completely sober. He met Fiona in a coffee shop during his lunch hour and started working through the steps he had learned. They’ve been on several dates and are building a strong mutual connection. Dave has invited her over to his place for dinner on Friday night and is confident that the Mystery Method’s next step, intimacy, will be successful.

Dave Fisher, 33, Accountant, Co. Meath