How to Have a Successful First Date

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Eugene came to Kama Lifestyles after his marriage had ended. He felt that he needed dating advice since he had been out of the dating scene for such a long time. He enjoyed the course, and soon started meeting women he had previously only dreamed of. His greatest challenge was taking someone on the first date, but luckily this had been covered in his training. On Saturday night, he went out with Christine, a woman he really likes. While they had met briefly for a drink with friends the previous week, this was their first ‘official’ date.

Eugene arranged the evening using the advice he’d been given during training. His first priority was taking control of the evening, ensuring that everything would happen the way he wanted it to. He decided to make the evening fun, going to more than one venue and changing the mood every hour or so. The date started at a cafe, moved to his favourite bookshop and ended with a walk in the park. He arranged to pick her up and made sure he had directions to her house and to the cafe from her house. Being in control means being punctual and knowing where you’re going.

Eugene purposely avoided going to dinner or the movies on the first date. Dinner dates often make women feel trapped, and being stuck on either side of a table makes it nearly impossible to create intimacy through touch. Going to the cinema makes conversation impossible, and the whole point of going on a date is getting to know each other. The cafe he chose was romantic and looked out on a beautifully tended park. He timed the date so that it would still be light enough to enjoy the flowers and birds, but not so early as to make it seem like she was having coffee with a friend.

Since Christine is a book lover, his favourite bookshop seemed like a detour that would create a great deal of conversation about a shared interest, without forcing him out of his comfort zone. Rounding off the evening with a walk in the park seemed like the perfect ending. They had a chance to be alone without being too isolated. He made a mental list of things to talk about, realising that he may be in control of the conversation for the first part of the night. He decided to talk about travel, her family and siblings, food and drinks she likes, her friends, avoiding too many questions about her past.

When the night of the first date arrived, Eugene made sure he arrived on time and came to the door to collect her. He was well dressed and groomed, not over dressed or dressed too casually. She looked great and he found it easy to sincerely compliment her on what she was wearing. On the drive, the car radio played softly and the conversation soon turned to music. They found out that they have the same tastes and they were chatting away like old friends by the time they reached the cafe.

Christine loved the view of the park, and the quiet surroundings. They had a light meal before moving on to the bookshop. Each pointed out their favourite books and they were soon involved in a heated discussion about their best loved authors. They walked back to the car through the park, with Eugene using touch to build intimacy and create sexual tension. When they arrived at her place, he walked her to the door, preparing to say good night and go home. However, Christine invited him inside. His planning and attention to detail had paid off. They have another date planned for this weekend.