How to get a girlfriend


Each week I receive messages and calls from guys whose goal is simply to find a girlfriend. To do this we need to think about what the process is to reach the end goal of finding a girlfriend.

To start, we need to know how to talk to girls and how to approach a girl, building up confidence is paramount. If your short on confidence, then just try to meet people, women, men, it doesn’t matter about their age, personality or attractiveness. Ask a question to the waitress when eating out, ask a stranger at the bus stop when the next bus is due, say hello to the girl walking her dog in the park.

Once in the habit of meeting and talking to people, begin to home in on woman, whether you find them attractive at this stage is irrelevant, the point is a continuation of building confidence with girls. Ask questions, where are you from? What do you do for a living? make a mental note of what questions were received well. A good place to start is finding a singles event to attend where you can have access to 50 – 100 women to speak to, who more than likely will love the attention.

You have come a long way, but now is the time to ramp it up and zone in on any prospective future girlfriends. Two questions your need to answer? How to get a girl to like you and how to impress a girl.


First impressions count, and that is the first 3-5 seconds in which you meet the girl. Your be judged on your visual and behavioral appearance including your body language and demeanor. So smile, get a good haircut, buy some nice clothes, relax and feel confident, these are just a few ways to impress a girl.


Creating an attraction begins when approaching the girl, that first words out of your mouth followed with a touch is the basis to what happens next. Click here for further advice on how to approach a girl I have had a lot of success with compliment driven lines, with the intention of making the girl laugh, such as “Hi, I just came over to say you’re the cutest girl I have seen in the last 5 minutes”. If the reaction is good continue with adding more attraction (click here for funny pickup lines)


After a while, a point will come when your need to transition into making a connection. Without a connection you could find the girl getting distracted or losing interest. Everyone loves talking about themselves so start asking questions about their hobbies, interests or family to name just a few. The easy part now is to make a connection through her answers. For example, (Girl) I love traveling, I was in USA in the summer. (You) That’s great, I was there a couple of years ago, I traveled to Boston and New York. My article on How to read body language is also worth a read.


If you have followed the 3 steps above then there is a higher chance the last part, Forming a relationship with a girl will be successful. Formal a relationship could be getting the phone number, a kiss, leaving together or leaving before returning later to the girl. The key to all four is to remain calm and confident. In the example of getting a girls number – ensure your phone is on and get the number typed in straight away and always get there number never give out yours. Remember though even if you get a number why not continue to increase the attraction, go for the kiss.


Ollie James
Dating Coach