Quinton approached Kama Lifestyles for dating advice after a series of failed relationships. As with every client, his dating coach worked out an action plan to boost his confidence and turn him into an alpha male. This meant that Quinton had to learn how to be relaxed with women, turning into a man who can date any woman he chooses. To do this, he had to exude confidence and strength, becoming a leader at work and at home.
Quinton had to learn the following:
- A positive attitude. Having a positive attitude means dealing with problems as they come and staying upbeat in difficult situations. This is a sign of true inner strength.
- Accepting and identifying his strengths and weaknesses through higher self-awareness. Everyone has both of these traits, and knowing his is the first step in growing as a person, and changing what he can to become a better person, without getting hung up on negative aspects.
- His own value. It is impossible to demonstrate value if one doesn’t know one’s own value.
- How to show emotion without fear of rejection or ridicule. A truly confident man is not afraid of what others will think of his feelings or thoughts. Showing emotion forges stronger connections with people, allowing them to relate to one on emotional level.
- Confidence, not arrogance. An alpha male does not need to prove himself as he has high self-esteem and knows his own worth. He is dominant without being aggressive.
- Directness, effective communication and honesty. Again, clearly telling people about one’s thoughts and intentions is a sign of confidence without fear of rejection.
- Dressing well and taking care with one’s hair and accessories shows a higher level of self-respect.
- How to use body language to his advantage. He learned to look relaxed and approachable in any situation, approaching people in a manner that showed that he did not feel socially inferior to them. He also learned to speak slowly, clearly, with a deep voice. Women love men who communicate well, and body language is a key factor in non verbal communication. One’s stance and bearing can show boredom, disdain or sexual interest.
- How to flirt. Women need to know that a man can build a romantic connection. Once again, the secret is confidence and little fear of rejection. Effective flirting keeps one out of the friend zone and shows sexual interest from the outset. Besides, flirting is a fun way to keep women interested.
- How to become a leader. An alpha male is the leader in his own life by learning to love his job and hobbies. His enthusiasm and passion for what he does every day is fun and attractive, and lets women know that being with him could be an adventure. Leaders guide others and give them direction, while listening to their needs and feelings.
Although it was hard work, Quinton realised that he was the only one who could change his life. The first changes he noticed were at work. Being more confident meant that people respected his opinions more, and were more inclined to listen to him. He found that women he approached were more receptive and keener to prove their worth to him. Understanding what he could bring to a relationship meant that he approached dating from a position of strength and confidence. He is more selective about who he spends his time with and has realised that he no longer needs to prove that he is worth the effort. He met Marion a few weeks ago and has been on two dates with her. She’s a beautiful, sophisticated woman who he would have seen as out of his league before his Kama Lifestyles training.
Quinton Paul, 41, Administrator, Co. Cork