Jeremy got extremely nervous every time he thought about asking a woman on a date. He’d start to stutter and stammer, struggling to get the question out and, more often than not, women would say no. He came to Kama Lifestyles for dating advice and to learn how to ask a woman on a date. His coach gave him a few pointers on what to do, and on what not to do.
How to ask a woman on a date: what not to do:
- Don’t be vague. Many men use vagueness to prevent being rejected immediately. Going out “some time” makes it very easy for the woman to evade you and the date. Besides leaving her with the ability to avoid the date easily, you’ll have to phone her and ask her out again.
- Don’t seem too eager to go out with her. Women like a challenge. If you seem too emotionally involved in whether she says yes or no, she may lose interest. Remember that there’s a difference between letting her know that you’re attracted to her and showing her that you’re in love with her.
- Don’t ask her to the movies or to dinner. Neither gives you a good opportunity to talk to her and both are too formal, putting too much pressure on the woman.
Make sure you have options. If you meet a woman you really like, don’t focus only on her. Get another phone number (or even better, a few phone numbers) on the same day. This will stop you from obsessing over one woman, reducing your chances of being needy or clingy. Having another woman to phone right after her turns the possibility of rejection into no big deal. If things don’t work out and she says no, you’ll have another date lined up anyway.
Keep your expectations low. How to ask a woman on a date works best when you don’t expect her to be the perfect partner for you. There may be something about her that stops her from being a good match. This way, your emotions won’t run away with you and your hopes won’t be pushed up so much that you become nervous. Again, this is the perfect way to stop yourself from sounding needy and desperate and scaring her off.
Don’t ask her out. Let her know your plans and invite her to tag along. Investing time and money in a stranger makes it seem as though you’re trying to bribe her into spending time with you. For example, tell her that you’re going out for coffee and that she’s welcome to meet you there. If she sounds unsure, be casual and say you’ll meet her another time.
Make the first date something interesting and fun. When you think about how to ask a woman on a date, include ways to show her that your life is fulfilling and exciting. Better yet, plan on going to several places on the same evening. When one place or activity gets boring, move to the next. This cuts out pressure and awkward conversation. Think about going to museums, cafes, amusement parks, planetariums or for a walk on the beach. These locations all give you a good opportunity to show off your fun side.
Jeremy’s Kama Lifestyles training on how to ask a woman on a date made him far more confident, while less pressure and fear of rejection made it easier for him to ask women out. Using the techniques he’d learned on how to approach women and create attraction, Jeremy soon started going on a date nearly every evening. Although he learned how to ask a woman on a date, he hasn’t met anyone special yet, but he’s having a lot of fun.
Jeremy O’Brien, London