Dean needed a way to get more dates. When he approached women he was being rejected more often than he was successful, but he couldn’t work out what he was doing wrong. He’d set goals to improve his dating skills, but instead of getting better he seemed to be getting worse. He turned to Kama Lifestyles for help.
Dean’s dating coach analysed his behaviour and gave him five steps to get more dates.
- Don’t focus too much on results. Setting goals is a good thing and a great help with personal growth, but being too focused on the numbers makes you seem needy. Instead, focus on the skills you gain or the improvement in the skills you have. Not getting the numbers you’re aiming for will affect your own view of yourself and your abilities. His Kama Lifestyles coach told him to focus on his weaknesses, like approaching mixed groups, and to measure success according to growth in those areas.
- Don’t change your personality when trying to get more dates. Concentrate on being a relaxed, confident, interesting person all of the time. If you don’t, women will realise that you’re acting when you change your personality to become more attractive to them. You’ll feel uncomfortable and you won’t be able to hide it. You should change your behaviour, not your personality.
- Become a great conversationalist to get more dates. Dean’s Kama Lifestyles coach showed him how to follow through effectively after his opener. While the approach is important, you have to work to keep her attention once you have it. Your tone and body language should show your confidence when you start talking to her. Women react to emotional stimuli, so talk with enthusiasm and make sure you work emotion into your story telling.
- Work on her mood. Dean had to learn to change women’s moods to get more dates, to bring out their sense of fun, adventure or attraction. As with conversation, it is essential to engage her emotionally and to let her have fun. There’s usually a difference between the types of men women think they should be attracted to and the types of men they really are attracted to. The ones they think they should find attractive are those that are logical choices to them, while the others are those who touch their emotions.
- Don’t underestimate the importance of grooming and fashion. Dean’s Kama Lifestyles dating coach explained how to present himself to get more dates. Women don’t only judge your looks on a superficial level, but also for what they say about your personality. Use your clothes and how you wear your hair to tell women about your identity. Pay attention to the little details, like your shoes, and dress to match what you’re doing. You wouldn’t go to a business meeting in a ratty old t-shirt, so don’t wear one when you go out. Changing your image and style is probably the easiest, quickest step to take to get more dates.
Dean listened to the Kama Lifestyles coach’s advice on how to get more dates and adjusted his goals, focusing on his skills rather than on numbers, changing his behaviour and smoothing out his style and fashion. He noticed an immediate improvement and felt less anxious and forced when approaching women. Last week he reached his target of approaching ten mixed groups. His target this week is to appropriately touch ten strangers while speaking to them in order to improve his skills in using touch. Without setting out to, he’s managed to get more dates and his Kama Lifestyles training is starting to pay off.
Dean Grey, 35, Web Developer, London