When you set about improving your life whether it is setting up a business or applying for that dream job you will have to accept the fact that you will get a lot of rejections or setbacks. This is also very true with dating whether you are a man or a woman. It is said that you are only as strong as your weakness and this can be said with rejections as well. It is how you deal with rejections that will determine how successful you become with dating.
The Root of Rejection
Approach anxiety is one the biggest issues that my clients face and this is true especially with guys as usually it is up to the guy to approach and the biggest cause of approach anxiety is the fear of rejection. Yes it does hurt and for people it usually is rooted in childhood where we are all conditioned to feel certain ways about certain outcomes. I remember asking a girl out for the first time when I was about 14 years old and she rejected me. I remember that it really hurt me and it hurt me so much that I would never put myself in this position for years to come and I would only rely on meeting women through my friends. It is only when I made that mind shift when I was in my early twenties to really get my dating life handled that I faced my fear of rejection.
It Is Never Personal
When you break down rejection it is never really personal, it only becomes personal if you choose to make it personal. When I first started approaching a lot of women, I got rejected a lot and although the feeling of rejection stung I was determined to move past this. It was only through approaching many women that I realised that first of all I was starting to improve as I was getting better responses and when I still got rejected it was usually down to the person I approached and nothing to do with me. I teach people the art of how to approach in the best way they can using their best qualities but even if you do a good approach, you cannot control how the other person will react. The other person could be married, engaged, or just in a bad mood. These are factors that you have absolutely no control over and the more you put yourself out there and approach, the more that you will come to realise this yourself.
There Is No Rejection Only Feedback
Your ability to how you handle rejection also depends on how you view it and one of the biggest reasons that people take it so badly is that they base it on how the other person will react. As I already mentioned you cannot control how the other person will react and instead you should focus on how you will improve and learn from the experience. For example if you see someone that you are really attracted to walking down the street and you decide to approach them, whatever their response will be, should still be a positive experience for you. For example if she were to tell you she has a boyfriend, you should walk away from the experience knowing that you were true to yourself as a man and instead of daydreaming and wondering what she would have been like to talk to, you made it a reality and you found out for yourself. However your experiences turn out to be, you should always look to the positive. You should also think it as a gift you are giving because if you are genuine in your intentions that you are giving that person you are attracted to, a compliment. Whether they are interested or not you are still making them feel good about themselves.