It is very important that you are aware of your body language as it can be the biggest signal to how you are feeling at any given time. When it comes to dating this is a major factor as over 90% of language is nonverbal so it is important that you are giving off the right signals otherwise you will give off the wrong impression. Remember that you form your impression of a person within 3 seconds of meeting them so it is important to get it right. When it comes to dating the social dynamics of body language between men and women are slightly different and I will elaborate on this.
Keep Your Body Language Open
Whether you are meeting someone for the first time or a date, this is big aspect that both my male and female clients should be aware of. When it comes to meeting people in bars I make my female clients more aware of their body language. For example one of the biggest mistakes women make is that they can appear to have very closed off body language when they are in a bar. This is fine if you are looking to catch up with your friend after a long week and you don’t want to be disturbed but if you are looking to meet someone you are giving off the wrong signals as you are appearing closed off and you are less likely to be approached. So have your back facing the bar and keep your arms unfolded. The same goes for guys in this respect, many guys subconsciously hold their drinks close to them as a form of a crutch especially if they are on they are on their own. This gives off the wrong signal of insecurity in themselves and instead you should stand tall and keep your head high and hold your glass at waist length.
This gives off the impression of someone being nervous and insecure in themselves. This can make both parties uneasy when on a date. Biting your nails, rubbing or holding your face and even constantly playing around on your phone are examples and this is a result of the person being in an uncomfortable situation and idle hands usually become busy hands as a result of this. Once you become aware of this you will find it easier to stop doing it and a good way to do this is to keep your hands close to your pockets with just your thumb inside your pocket. This will remove the need for fidgeting and you will appear calmer and open as a result.
This is a very important factor when it comes to communicating none verbally and it is a great way for you to show your confidence and your intent. For example if you are a woman in a bar, making eye contact to a guy is a great way to show that you like him and to invite him to approach and if you are a guy then this is a good sign that she is interested in you. The biggest mistake a lot of guys make is that they break eye contact and look down at the floor which makes them appear very unconfident. It is perfectly okay to eventually break eye contact but look away to either side instead.
It is also important that you are able to maintain good eye contact whether you have just met each other or are on a date as again it can give off the wrong signals. If you are a woman and you don’t keep enough eye contact you may give the impression that you are not interested even though you are and from the perspective of the guy you may appear untrustworthy or unsure in yourself if you cannot keep eye contact.
Consistent Practice and Awareness
Whether you are actually doing 50% of it right or none at all, practising good body language is very important and don’t expect to just adopt it right away, just be aware of what you are doing and how you appear at all times. Poor body language is usually the result of having negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you. So it is important to question these thoughts and start thinking more positively about yourself instead. You can also change how you are feeling by simply changing your body language as well. By just smiling you will notice how your state will change. So even if you are thinking negatively you can still practice good body language as over time your level of state will improve to reflect your positive body language.