This week, JOE’s dating and relationship expert Stephen Nolan tells us how to visualise a successful result before we make contact with that beautiful woman.

Visualisation is one of the most natural human experiences and each of us practices it every day. Every time we daydream or see images in our mind we are visualising.

When we consciously choose our thoughts, we are practicing the visualisation technique. Most people simply do it naturally and do not realise that if they actually controlled what they think, then they could be far more successful in attracting women.

Focus

Positive visualisation can be one of the best ways to take advantage of the power of our subconscious mind. Seeing yourself already achieving your goal makes your brain believe that attaining that goal is possible. In short, focus brings the goal closer to you.

Each of us possesses the ultimate tool for attracting the women we truly desire. What is the secret? Simple – it’s our positive thoughts. But how do you master visualisation so that you can use it as a tool to quickly and easily get into the correct frame of mind when you want to approach somebody new and create a connection?

The answer is the mental slideshow. We do this in two steps.

Scenario

Imagine you have just arrived in a bar and there is a beautiful woman standing at the counter. You feel the anxiety and you try to visualise yourself going over, introducing yourself and completely captivating her with your presence.

However, for some reason, you just can’t see it in your mind. You then give up on yourself or the visualisation technique and just go to the bar and order a drink. Later that night, you look for another technique on the internet.

To avoid this situation, it is better to first delve into your own positive memories before attempting to construct a new visualisation. One of the best ways to program our subconscious in a positive way is to spend time visualising our positive memories first.

Simply remember a time when you felt fantastic and everything seemed to go right. For the situation above, choose a time when you approached somebody and it went amazingly well. Visualize the memory in as much detail as possible in your mind and really feel those emotions. If there were a few nights like this, then picture each one of them.

Spend as much time as you like on each image. The best way to know if you are doing it right is to consult your emotions. If your emotions are positive, you are on the right track. Really concentrate on it.

Concentration involves a focusing of the attention so that one’s entire field of attention is thrown into whatever it is that one is doing. After a while, you will start to feel great and you will feel your emotions begin to rise. At this point, switch your focus to the woman you want to approach and see how much your powers of visualisation have improved.

Step One

Access successful memories from the past, when you felt yourself to be charismatic and excellent.

Step Two

Visualise the intended approach and really see yourself as amazingly charismatic and getting the same responses as in the memories.

Emotion

By creating a mental slideshow in your mind of your good moments, you will easily be able to change your state. The more you access these memories, the better you will get and the quicker you will be able to change state. The key is emotion.

The more emotion you exude, the stronger your state will be and the better it will work. Replay it over and over, pump it up, make it feel real, and magic will happen.

Stephen Nolan has appeared in “Battle of the Sexes” as a dating coach and has featured on TV3 speaking on the success of Kama Lifestyles courses.

He has also been featured in many of Ireland’s leading newspapers, including the Irish Times, the Sunday Tribune, Evening Herald for his work with dating coaching and relationship management. He has also spoken on RTE Radio One, 2Fm, Beat 102, South East Radio, Phantom Fm, WLRFM, Dublin’s Q102 and 4FM.

For more tips and advice visit www.kamalifestyles.com

The first thing we have to realize is that when a person says no to us they are not saying no to us as people, they are simply saying no to our approach or to the way we present ourselves. Thus, the rejection is not personal.

Once we understand that and we understand that people can say no to us automatically and they say no to us for many different reasons then we cannot understand.

The biggest mistake that we can make is that if we hear too many no’s what happens?? We start thinking that it is us that are being told no to and since it is so depressing to be rejected continually then we stop approaching and build up reasons and excuses in our minds about why we can’t approach.

There are many people who have successfully dealt with their fear of rejection. Many of these people are in or have been in a successful relationship. Here’s the rule:

“If you think like these people think, you will eventually do the things that they do, and will get the same results that they get”.

And if you don’t, you won’t. Some people are satisfied with settling in their relationship. This is consistent with the way they think, most of the time. Other people would be dissatisfied unless they are in a relationship with their ideal girl, in looks and personality.

It is interesting to note that there is very little difference between the people who settle in an average relationship and the people who are madly in love with their ideal woman. They each have very much the same levels of talent and ability. They are surrounded with very much the same number of opportunities and possibilities. The only difference is that the people who are in the ideal relationship have decided to put aside their fear of rejection and approach that woman.

It is true that many women have their idea of what they look for in a man in their mind and when you approach she will decide whether you are worth her time or not. Therefore, it is imperative to know how to approach in order to reduce the possibility of rejection.

To get more tips on how to attract women get your copy of “The Score” that has nearly 300 pages of information that will ultimately SKYROCKET YOUR SUCCESS WITH WOMEN.