JOE’s relationship and dating expert Stephen Nolan explains the alpha male, his qualities and the traits women look for.

Most men spend their lives seeking ways to validate themselves and attempt to fulfil a desire of being liked. Once you disregard this need, the quality of your life will skyrocket and you will become a much happier, more centred person.

Members of your family and your friends will be far happier in your company, and you will have a greater influence on them and allow them to feel better about themselves and to do better at the important things in their lives.

If you develop the following traits in yourself, then your success with women will hit a whole new level. A true alpha male is somebody who likes and accepts themselves unconditionally and has very high self-esteem. When you display the following alpha traits, people look up to you and respect and admire you.

• Charisma – This can be defined as a personal attractiveness or interestingness that enables you to influence others.

• Enthusiasm – An alpha male is enthusiastic about life. When you are enthusiastic and excited about what you are doing, when you are totally committed to achieving something worthwhile, you radiate positive energy and people are drawn to you.

• Confidence – If there is one quality that every Alpha Male has in common its sheer, absolute, unflappable, masculine Confidence.

• Sense of Purpose – Alpha Males have clear goals and visions and know exactly where they are going in life. The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life.

• Sense of Humour – One supreme pleasure that spans all people is laughter. Ask any woman what qualities she looks for in a guy and at the top of the list will be a sense of humour.

• Generosity – To put it simply, if you really want to be an alpha male you’ve got to give. You’ve got to give people pleasure, make people feel good, give people a reason to be near you, give guys a reason to wish they were you, give women a desire to have you; you’ve got to give and give and give.

• Self-reliant- Self-reliance is a trait that every alpha male possesses. A self-reliant person is one who is more active, independent, creative, competent and spontaneous.

• Honesty - This is another important alpha quality. Honesty is a vital link in the ecosystem of life, on which everything either directly or indirectly depends.

• Unreactive – This is one of the key alpha elements. Being unreactive is all about setting your own standards, instead of trying to match up to other people’s standards all the time. When you are trying to match up to other peoples ideals, you are living in reaction.

• Self-discipline – To achieve success in any area, one needs to have will power and self discipline. It absolutely must be developed in order to succeed.

• Ability to Achieve Results – To put it simply, an alpha male is a high achiever. What results have you achieved so far in your life?

• Appearance – An alpha male always strives to look his personal best. There’s nothing unmanly about wanting to look good. Grooming not only improves your confidence, but of course your looks as well.

On your journey to become an alpha male, you will become a leader of your own life. Leadership is vital in moving the relationship in new directions, increasing its depth and dimension.

As well as appearing in “Battle of the Sexes” as a dating coach, Stephen Nolan has also featured on TV3 speaking on the success of the Kama Lifestyles courses.

He has also been featured in many of Ireland’s leading newspapers, including the Irish Times, the Sunday Tribune, Evening Herald for his work with dating coaching and relationship management. He has also spoken on RTE Radio One, 2Fm, Beat 102, South East Radio, Phantom Fm, WLRFM, Dublin’s Q102 and 4FM.

For more tips and advice visit www.kamalifestyles.com

“Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it” – Jane Thompson.

JOE’s dating expert Stephen Nolan tells why smiling is so important for pulling women and how to get good at it.

Of all the things you do when you approach somebody new, your smile is the most important.

Happiness is often the motivating cause of a smile and if you approach a group while smiling, you will come across as relaxed, confident and fun. Also, most smiles are started by another smile as whatever you project to a person emotionally; they will generally project it back to you.

Thus, if you can succeed in getting the group to smile and laugh in the first few seconds with you then you have successfully started the interaction and have made everybody in the group feel good.

By smiling, you will also have a positive effect on your own psychology. Many people feel that if you smile you are letting your guard down and it takes some of your power away. While smiling does show a little vulnerability, that makes it even more effective and powerful.

Positive

The world always appears to be brighter when you smile. You will begin to think more positively and it will really help to put you in state. If you are having trouble smiling or you are simply not in a good mood, try laughing as this will easily transition into a smile. Picture something that made you laugh hysterically and that memory will help fuel a full blown smile.

Not just any smile will do. You need to learn how to develop a genuine, infectious smile that can make people like you the moment they meet you and cause every group you approach to welcome you. Learn to develop your smile. You don’t need perfect teeth to achieve a fantastic smile but they certainly do help.

Keep your teeth clean. Regularly brushing your teeth and making sure your breath is fresh are some prerequisites to a good smile. If your teeth are less than white, get them cleaned or professionally polished.

Use your eyes to smile. People are only starting to finally realise that the eyes may actually be more essential to a warm, genuine smile than smiling with your mouth. To smile with your eyes, you slightly raise your cheekbones and lower your eyebrows, to give your eyes that twinkling effect.

Practice

To become good at smiling with your eyes, practice smiling in front of a mirror, concentrating only on your eyes. Cover your mouth with your hand so you can only see your eyes. Practice smiling with your mouth only and your eyes only. Soon you will become aware of the muscles used to make your eyes smile and begin to use them every time you smile.

The secret is to approach while the smile is already on your lips and twinkling in your eyes before you make eye contact. It will seem natural when it is conveyed as how you are and not as something you do.

If you open the group, make eye contact and then smile, you may come across as awkward and fake. The person will feel uncomfortable and you will not come across as a confident, fun guy but rather as somebody who has put her on the spot. If you approach and you are already smiling or laughing, and you suddenly catch a person’s eye, they will return your smile as, just like yawning, smiles are contagious.

As well as JOE.ie’s dating expert Stephen has appeared in “Battle of the Sexes” as a dating coach and has featured on TV3 speaking on the success of Kama Lifestyles courses.

He has also been featured in many of Ireland’s leading newspapers, including the Irish Times, the Sunday Tribune, Evening Herald for his work with dating coaching and relationship management. He has also spoken on RTE Radio One, 2Fm, Beat 102, South East Radio, Phantom Fm, WLRFM, Dublin’s Q102 and 4FM.

For more tips and advice visit www.kamalifestyles.com

Next up was a spot of horrifying-yet-probably-necessary-given-the-circumstances role playing. We stood in groups pretending to be girls while a student strutted jauntily past, casually remarking on our beauty before stopping to chit-chat.

Points of possible improvement were dished out but there was little time to digest them – because it was time to hit the mean streets of Temple Bar to put them to work on the heel-wearing half of its populace.

Stephen explained what would happen next as we worked our way through the throngs of people still in the early stages of drunkenness. We would go into as many bars as we could and approach as many women as possible.

The Temple Bar itself was chosen as our first venue and as we pushed through the masses of predominantly non-Irish punters, Stephen was already clicking into gear – smiling and firing casual comments at groups of girls. “We’ll come back to them later,” he said after a brief chat with some English 20-somethings.

Myself, Stephen and the small, angry foreign chap found ourselves in the smoking area with a group of girls standing opposite.

With the rest of the group trailing behind and the bar packed to the rafters, it was only a matter of time before we started to separate. As it happened, myself, Stephen and the small, angry foreign chap found ourselves in the smoking area with a group of girls standing opposite.

The principle of participatory journalism dictates that all things must be tried when on the job, so when Stephen nodded towards them, I had no choice other than to dive headlong into the fray.

As it turned out, we were actually dealing with two pairs of girls so while Stephen concentrated his efforts on one duo, I had a crack at another. Among other things we were told that standing in a confident manner, maintaining eye contact and smiling a lot were key.

It was to some degree a statement of the obvious, but it struck me that for the more socially awkward man, doing these three things properly could be a revelation.

Fortunate

I was fortunate to discover that the girls I landed in front of were friendly sorts who were happy to chat away with a random stranger. By a further stroke of luck, one of them worked next to the obscure housing estate in far flung county Dublin I grew up in – so I focused my attentions on her.

Other than a concerned, whispered question as to whether I had come here with the strange, swarthy, down-cast little man that hovered at the fringes of our conversation, the banter flowed harmlessly along.

I noticed at one point that I was being watched by my fellow travellers so, although I had only met the girls 10 minutes previously, I decided to chance my arm and see if I could get a number before we moved on. Sadly, Ciara informed me that she was seeing somebody. The thought of being knocked back in full view of the boys spurred me on to hazard a bold move so I turned to her blonde bombshell friend Niamh.

“Looks like you’ll have to give me your number instead so,” I said, grinning outwardly while dying on the inside.

“I’m not giving you my number after you asked my friend first!” she replied.

“The only reason I asked her first is because she works around the corner from me. I had nothing to put between the two of you. She’s just more convenient.”

The bare-faced cheek of the remark won the day and I came away with a number.

“Don’t worry about it lads,” I said with jutting chin and puffed chest to one of the students who hadn’t fared as well. “I’ll be kicking off my own seminars soon.”

The sheer volume of approaches meant more numbers were gathered, but there was also no shortage of that belittling, dismissive, frosty glare only Irish women can muster.

The rest of the evening was spent literally drag trawling bar after bar, approaching all the best looking women in each venue. I was no stranger to going on the pull, but it was normally a fairly free-range affair. This was full-blown battery farm.

The sheer volume of approaches meant more numbers were gathered, but there was also no shortage of that belittling, dismissive, frosty glare only Irish women can muster.

Overall, though, the exercise was enjoyable and promptly eradicated any approach anxiety I might have had about marching up to the best looking girl in a bar stone cold sober and talking bullshit at her until I got her number.

The other students seemed to warm into it too. A body can only pump out the required amount of adrenaline needed to cripple a man with anxiety for so long – keep your head in the mouth of a crocodile for long enough and, eventually, you’ll relax. So it proved with the students who by the end were clearly suffering less from girl-related terror than they had been when the evening kicked off.

Lady Killer

Some argue that any man can develop into a lady killer thorough diligent application of the type of knowledge imparted at events like the one I popped along to. Sadly, I don’t think this isn’t the case – it’s written in the stars that some people are destined to struggle.

That said, unless you’re rich, famous or embarrassingly handsome, not every girl will fall into your arms. Happily, this stuff is capable of helping any of us keep the number of women who don’t to a bare minimum.

This week, JOE’s dating and relationship expert Stephen Nolan tells us how to visualise a successful result before we make contact with that beautiful woman.

Visualisation is one of the most natural human experiences and each of us practices it every day. Every time we daydream or see images in our mind we are visualising.

When we consciously choose our thoughts, we are practicing the visualisation technique. Most people simply do it naturally and do not realise that if they actually controlled what they think, then they could be far more successful in attracting women.

Focus

Positive visualisation can be one of the best ways to take advantage of the power of our subconscious mind. Seeing yourself already achieving your goal makes your brain believe that attaining that goal is possible. In short, focus brings the goal closer to you.

Each of us possesses the ultimate tool for attracting the women we truly desire. What is the secret? Simple – it’s our positive thoughts. But how do you master visualisation so that you can use it as a tool to quickly and easily get into the correct frame of mind when you want to approach somebody new and create a connection?

The answer is the mental slideshow. We do this in two steps.

Scenario

Imagine you have just arrived in a bar and there is a beautiful woman standing at the counter. You feel the anxiety and you try to visualise yourself going over, introducing yourself and completely captivating her with your presence.

However, for some reason, you just can’t see it in your mind. You then give up on yourself or the visualisation technique and just go to the bar and order a drink. Later that night, you look for another technique on the internet.

To avoid this situation, it is better to first delve into your own positive memories before attempting to construct a new visualisation. One of the best ways to program our subconscious in a positive way is to spend time visualising our positive memories first.

Simply remember a time when you felt fantastic and everything seemed to go right. For the situation above, choose a time when you approached somebody and it went amazingly well. Visualize the memory in as much detail as possible in your mind and really feel those emotions. If there were a few nights like this, then picture each one of them.

Spend as much time as you like on each image. The best way to know if you are doing it right is to consult your emotions. If your emotions are positive, you are on the right track. Really concentrate on it.

Concentration involves a focusing of the attention so that one’s entire field of attention is thrown into whatever it is that one is doing. After a while, you will start to feel great and you will feel your emotions begin to rise. At this point, switch your focus to the woman you want to approach and see how much your powers of visualisation have improved.

Step One

Access successful memories from the past, when you felt yourself to be charismatic and excellent.

Step Two

Visualise the intended approach and really see yourself as amazingly charismatic and getting the same responses as in the memories.

Emotion

By creating a mental slideshow in your mind of your good moments, you will easily be able to change your state. The more you access these memories, the better you will get and the quicker you will be able to change state. The key is emotion.

The more emotion you exude, the stronger your state will be and the better it will work. Replay it over and over, pump it up, make it feel real, and magic will happen.

Stephen Nolan has appeared in “Battle of the Sexes” as a dating coach and has featured on TV3 speaking on the success of Kama Lifestyles courses.

He has also been featured in many of Ireland’s leading newspapers, including the Irish Times, the Sunday Tribune, Evening Herald for his work with dating coaching and relationship management. He has also spoken on RTE Radio One, 2Fm, Beat 102, South East Radio, Phantom Fm, WLRFM, Dublin’s Q102 and 4FM.

For more tips and advice visit www.kamalifestyles.com

Every man should strive to be an alpha male. This is a journey that will profoundly change your life. People always ask is it really possible to become an alpha male?

To succeed in your efforts, you need a structured, practical approach to developing your true alpha male characteristics.

As you progress through life, you will realise that any behavior can be changed. After all, actions create habits and habits form character. Some psychologists believe that it takes 21 days to form a new habit but in reality, you can often develop character traits much quicker than that, especially positive ones.

If you think about it, people spend most of their lives chasing good feelings. To some extent, everybody wants to be happy, although few of us agree on what this means or how best to achieve it. Acting in accordance with your beliefs will bring you happiness. This is essentially the way of the alpha male. This is the main reason to develop your alpha traits.

Once you start to develop your own alpha traits, you will immediately notice the effects that it has on your own personality and in particular, your interactions with other people. People will begin to look at you in a new, more positive light. By taking control of your actions and implementing positive exercises, your true alpha qualities will very quickly begin to shine through. It will require a commitment on your part to really perfect your personality and evolve into an alpha male.

However, it will be worth every minute you invest in this pursuit. Outside of success with women, the fact that happiness is associated with better health, more creativity, higher income, and better workplace evaluations ought to really catch your focus.  Once you learn the foundations of the alpha male, you can bring your experiences and new powerful beliefs into virtually every area of your life.

Once you recognise and begin to develop your own unique alpha traits, you will achieve maximum success in your relationships, and indeed in every area of your life. Of course, your success with women will increase drastically, but your relationships with your family and loved ones will also dramatically improve. And there is a way to do this! Simply by making a decision now, to act like and indeed to be an alpha male, you will take your dreams and ideas and turn them into reality.

An alpha male is a skillful leader of his own life. It is never too late to become what you want to be. In any relationship, people at all levels want to be inspired. The idea of increasing your strengths and qualities will not be new to you, but the study of the alpha male offers some amazing new ways to do so.

Best of all, developing your alpha qualities is a discipline that is compatible with what you are already doing and need not be exchanged for what you already know that works. The exercises that we give you are essentially a proven formula for success that will enable you to achieve your potential as a man and really achieve the results you desire.

As you use this book, remember that the Alpha male mindset is a journey, not a destination.

Grab a copy of this amazing eBook and learn how to become an Alpha male that will help you easily Attract more Women in your life.  Do You Want To Be an Alpha Male? Go To This Site Immediately To Find Out More: http://www.beanalphamale.com

A Dating coach will work with you to improve your dating life and help you to achieve successful relationships. Developing awareness about your dating life is very important when it comes to choosing the right partner for your relationship.

A dating coach will give you an understanding of the relationship and help you to identify and change thinking patterns which held you back before.

Have you ever felt lost in a relationship, with nobody to turn to? Anyone you speak to can only give advice based on their own limited experience. There is no substitute for the clarity that an expert Dating Coach can provide. During the consultation, the coach will help you with your own specific dating and relationship issues. He will provide you with an understanding of your own unique situation and a clear understanding of your options.

During the Dating Consultation, the clients will begin to understand their lives and begin to develop the dating skills immediately. Communication is the key in any relationship and it is vital to learn to communicate correctly. Dating issues can be very complex so it is difficult to make any comment in relation to the client without the dating consultation. Some clients are single and looking for a relationship, some clients suffering from a recent break up and finding hard to find a new start. Some clients may want to date more people before they settle while others are looking for a serious relationship or marriage with an amazing woman.

In the Dating Consultation, the client will begin to see the circumstances in a different frame and the coach will help them to work with proven methods to help them achieve their goal. These methods may be related to confidence building, increasing communication or social skill building. The Coaches work with a variety of topics when dealing with the clients, including fashion, Inner game, voice training, field training, communication and social skills. When clients are choosing a dating coach, they should know if the coach provides training in real life scenarios. In other words, a coach should be able to go in to the area and work with you when approaching women and see you approaching, point out your mistakes and come up with the solutions.

The price for the Dating Consultation should be charged at an hourly rate. Prices will vary based on the coach’s ability and experience. The best thing is to do the research for the Dating Consultation, be specific, read testimonials in the coaches website and if there is a free session attend one of them and make up your mind based on the coaches performance.

Kama Lifestyles offers dating consultation with any dating issues you may have. Our Dating Coaches will work with you on specific aspects of your dating life and dramatically increase your success with women in a very short period of time.

So many people have missed out on the opportunity of a relationship because they made one critical mistake – they didn’t isolate the person when they had the chance.

Many women will not even give their number out in front of their friends, not to mention kiss you. They may be attracted to you and really like you but the social pressure of being called a slut will often hold her back and cause her to reject you. In fact, women want to avoid this label at all costs. This is simple basic human psychology. If she rejects you, it does not mean the issue is with you. Most of the time the problem lies with her friends. Move her away from her friends and the problem disappears. Don’t be one of the guys who make this crucial mistake.

Women are attracted to men, who know what they want in life and go for it.They want men who will take the lead in the relationship, not boys that look to others to take control of the steering wheel for them. They want to be able to

relax and allow you to take them on the journey that is your life. If a man does not lead, the woman in the relationship is turned off and it kills the attraction in the relationships and dating each time.

Thus, you should lead the relationship right from the start. To do this, you must first understand some principles. You have now created a connection, but in order to deepen the connection, you must spend some time alone with her.

She wants you to demonstrate your alpha qualities by leading the interaction and you should realize that she cannot deepen the connection between you while her friends are around for the following reasons…

• Her friends may judge her if she starts talking about certain topics
• She may feel under pressure to act in a certain way in front of her friends
• If she kisses you, her friends may perceive her as a slut
• She will be constantly distracted by her friends

These are just three of the many reasons why, once you have built a connection with her, isolation is essential. She will be able to give you her full attention, without feeling any pressure of being judged by her social circle. There will be nobody to butt into your conversation or drag her off dancing etc. The main purpose of isolation is to make sure you have some private time together to build up emotional connection. Many men get so excited when they find a woman who is interested in them that they forget that to rapidly increase the intimacy of the situation, they must isolate the person they are interested in.

is such an important part of leading early on and if you don’t go for the isolation, your chances of deepening your relationship with her will decrease dramatically. Many women are so used to being the one to make the decisions

and call the shots that it has become second nature to her. She leads without thinking. When you isolate her, you show that you are the one in control of the interaction.

One of the principle reasons that most guys will not attempt to isolate the girl is that they fear that she will say no and so they will lose her. They fear that by taking the lead, they will lose the girl. Many men are not used to beautiful women finding them attractive and actually willing to spend time with them and so they develop a huge fear of losing the woman.

They believe they are out of their league and aim to do everything right to avoid screwing up this opportunity. They do not isolate her and instead attempt to take the safe path. Ironically, this attitude will cause the women to lose all attraction for them. The woman wants you to isolate her.

By isolating her, you have created huge sexual tension because you are leading. She wants you to take the lead in the interaction and to deepen the connection between you. She cannot suggest a move from the area she is in because her friends are there and it would also seem way too forward.

It’s your job to suggest the move and you must become comfortable doing this. On the other hand, by attempting to get others to follow, you are basically asking them if it’s ok with them if you took control of the situation. In essence, you are looking to them to let you lead. This puts them in the lead as they can simply stop you what you want at any time, by the simple fact of not following you.

When you isolate a person, you lead without needing them to follow. Whether they come or not, you are going anyway.

Try it and experiment with it. If they don’t follow you become comfortable with the uneasiness that comes when you leave on your own. As humans we fear losing approval of others, but once you become comfortable with that, they person will realise that you are leaving and they will come with you. If you lead and isolate in this way, the person will follow you.

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