One of the most common mistakes that people make is that once they start having fun with somebody, they escalate the interaction, without finding out about the other person’s personality and character. As a result, you have no real idea what this person is actually like.

Through your story-telling they may know your attractive qualities and have a good idea of the type of person you are, but, because you have not taken the time to get to know them properly, there is no compelling reason for them to consider escalation the attraction.

When you do take the time to get to know the other person, you will reach a new level of comfort with the other person. By the other person confiding in you, an emotional connection will be created and this will bring you closer together. By using the tools in the earlier chapter, you will have succeeded in creating a great first impression and a strong connection. It is time to get to know the person a little better.

You must remember that somebody will only open up to you once they are attracted so do not qualify them until you know attraction is present. In order to create and maintain an emotional connection with her, you must go a little deeper and try to find out the type of person she really is. The last thing you want to do is to give off the vibe of a player, who simply takes her number and leaves, leaving her feeling cold, used, and impersonal.

To deepen the connection, you need to understand one another and begin to form a relationship. You want to deepen the rapport and really get to know this person. In order to get to know anybody, you have to be willing to share personal information about yourself. The simple act can create incredible comfort between two people. It is important to only discuss topics that both of you will be comfortable talking about. Try to keep a distance from any negative topics as you should aim to create and share positive emotions.

Some sample topics are listed below:

• Family/Social Circle Relationships
• Important Characteristics
• Animals
• Ambitions
• Sports
• Passions in Life
• Travel
• Hobbies
• Her values and your values
• Childhood experiences
• Friendship

These topics are excellent for learning about her experiences and sharing about yourself. Try to keep away from boring or vague topics that you have no real interest in. What fake interest, when you can discuss actual topics that you are genuinely interested in. Some questions you might ask are shown below:

• “What’s the most breathtaking thing you’ve ever seen?”
• “If you could be anything you want, what would you choose?”
• “What is your best memory?”

The more comfort you build with her, the more you will understand each other better and the greater the connection.