Over the last few weeks we’ve discussed the common dating problems men face. We’ve mentioned the destructiveness of negative thinking a number of times. Today we’ll be discussing ways to replace negative thoughts with positive ones through the use of affirmations.
Inner Dialogue and Thought Patterns
We all have an inner dialogue that we carry on constantly while we are awake. This is such an automatic process that few people think twice about it. However, our inner dialogue influences our moods and the outcome of life events. The first step in changing negative thought patterns is becoming aware of your thoughts. People tend to repeat negative thoughts without realising that they’re doing it. When they doubt themselves or expect the worst they instruct their subconscious minds that they will fail. Negative thoughts that are repeated often enough turn into negative, limiting beliefs. These beliefs shape one’s reality.
Negative thoughts include things like:
- My life is worthless.
- I’m depressed.
- I’m uninteresting.
- I’m a failure.
- I’m unattractive.
- I’m overweight.
- I don’t have money.
- I’m stupid.
- No one could ever love me.
What are Affirmations?
Affirmations are positive thoughts or statements that are intended to encourage a positive mood. An affirmation is like an automatic programmed response that is triggered in the mind. Repeating it means that the conscious mind focuses on the positive statement. Soon, the subconscious mind starts to change, accepting the positive statements as the truth. Changing one’s though patterns will transform one’s behaviour, reactions, attitude, and habits. This, in turn, has a huge impact on all aspects of one’s life.
Affirmations must be repeated frequently in order to be effective. The statements should be in the present tense (“I will lose weight” should be “I am getting thinner”), short and easily memorised, and realistic. Examples of positive affirmations include:
- I am strong.
- I am confident.
- I have value.
- I am loved.
- I am healthy.
- I can make my dreams come true.
- I am successful.
Of course, the most effective positive affirmations will be those you think of yourself, focusing on what is important to you, as well as your life goals.
Letting Affirmations Work for You
When trying to identify your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations, make a list of the negative things you believe about yourself. Once you have done this, start working on your list of positive affirmations. For example, if you list “I am constantly anxious” as a negative belief, use something along the lines of “I am becoming calmer each day” as an affirmation. Upon completing your list of affirmations, read through them to see if they feel true for you. If they don’t, make sure you correctly identified the negative thought and find the corresponding positive thought.
Living a negative or positive life is entirely up to you. All negative thoughts can be replaced with positive ones. Simply identifying the negative thoughts will help you to understand how you sabotage yourself each day.